Popinions

We like to ask the man – and woman – on the street what they think of the news of the day. This is what they told us.

Tour de France winner Contador accused of doping, what do you think?

“To be honest, if I had to spend a month in France I’d want to be doped up to the eyeballs too.”

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George Michael has been sent to prison, what do you think?

“Stoned people tend to drive around at about 15mph, so I have no idea how he keeps driving into things, it’s almost like he wants to be caught. Oh.”

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Professor Hawking claims God wasn’t needed for creation, what do you think?

“Look, I’ve made an entire career out of standing around looking busy whilst not directly contributing to anything in any way whatsoever, so I don’t see why God couldn’t have been doing exactly the same thing.”

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Obama hails end to Iraqi combat operations, what do you think?

“I think it’s lovely. It’s about time that ordinary Iraqi’s took control of accidentally killing their own civilians.”

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Survey finds public wants cold-callers banned, what do you think?

“They don’t bother me. I got in there first and called every company in the world to tell them I didn’t need anything.”

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Iran unveils the Ambassador of death, what do you think?

“I don’t see any reason to be overly concerned. I grew up on a street with an Ambassador of Death, and he hardly ever killed anyone.”

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Australia to become republic when Queen dies, what do you think?

Australia should become a republic when Queen Elizabeth II dies, Prime Minister Julia Gillard has said just days ahead of the Australian general election, what do you think?

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Really fat people should be given hospice care, what do you think?

“It’s about time too. The sooner we get these people off the NHS waiting lists and free up valuable resources for essential procedures like my boob job, the better.”

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Lily Allen is pregnant, what do you think?

“That’s wonderful news for her. Now, if only the government could rush through some sort of compulsory maternity leave for all pop stars, of say, 18 years, that would be just perfect.”

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Lady Gaga has admitted using Cocaine, what do you think?

“Such infrequent use is probably going to do her more good than harm. Without my own little Heroin pick-me-up I’d be absolutely useless to anyone.”

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