World

Putin announces triumph in 2018, 2024, and 2030 elections

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Legitimately elected President of Russia Vladimir Putin has confirmed that he has won not only this year’s election but also the 2024 election and the 2030 election.

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Vladimir Putin accused of interfering in Russian elections

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Vladimir Putin has been accused of ‘undue influence’ in Russian elections after they were won by his preferred candidate, himself.

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Russia to respond to Gavin Williamson speech as soon as they stop laughing

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Kremlin diplomats have confirmed that they will provide a full response to Defence Secretary Gavin Williamson’s call for Russia to ‘go away and shut up’ once they have all stopped pissing themselves laughing.

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This week’s US Secretary of State to be some guy

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The White House has announced that the new Secretary of State will be some guy. He is expected to serve until Sunday or Monday, whereupon the President will look to appoint some other guy.

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Theresa May to send Kremlin a picture of her riding a horse topless

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The Prime Minister will improve her image with Russian politicians with a series of increasingly bizarre publicity photos.

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Rex Tillerson coincidentally sacked by Donald Trump just minutes after implicating Russia in UK poisoning

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A man who pledged the USA would help Britain against Russia has been fired by the President for some reason, we can report.

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Donald Trump appoints Lord Voldemort as new Secretary of State

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President Trump has replaced sacked Rex Tillerson with the appointment of Lord Voldemort as the new United States Secretary of State.

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You’d better explain yourselves or I’ll come and run through your wheat-fields, Theresa May warns Russia

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The British Prime Minister has threatened Russia in the strongest possible terms over the attempted assassination of a former Soviet spy on English soil.

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‘The goal is complete denuclearisation of that rogue nation’ Kim Jong-un tells world press

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Kim Jong-un is receiving plaudits from the global community for managing to get the tyrannical leader of the United States to agree to a face-to-face meeting.

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Donald Trump to meet Kim Jong-un to discuss new bilateral hair care regimen

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US President Donald Trump will meet with North Korean leader Kim Jong-un to discuss the best way for them to maintain their distinctive hairstyles.

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