World

I am a stable genius insists man in park dressed as Napoleon chasing away ‘invading pigeons’

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A local man has insisted he is a ‘stable genius’ after dressing up as Napoleon to chase away the ‘invading’ pigeons from the nearby park.

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Evil micro-universe discovered in Donald Trump’s Fleshlight

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Donald Trump’s battered Fleshlight is the site of an evil micro-universe, it was discovered today.

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Self-confessed sex offender brings in lawyers to refute claims he goes to bed early

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Actual President of the United States and self-confessed sexual abuser Donald Trump has brought in a team of lawyers to refute malicious claims that he goes to bed a bit early.

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Gorilla laughs off story he’d be stupid enough to watch a ‘Donald Trump channel’

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A gorilla yesterday laughed off Internet rumours that he would be in any way interested in watching a ‘Donald Trump television channel’.

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Apple confirms that products are ‘crap’

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Apple has said that all iPhones, iPads and Mac computers are likely to be affected by two recently identified major flaws.

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‘That book is full of lies’ blasts Donald Trump after reading The Very Hungry Caterpillar

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Donald Trump reacted angrily to revelations in a book last night, after finally finishing The Very Hungry Caterpillar.

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Thank you President Trump for all your help with marketing, say publishers of Fire and Fury

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Henry Holt and Co, the publisher of Michael Wolff’s tell-all story about Trump’s first year in office, has issued a heartfelt Thank You message to the US president.

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Shock at revelation that Donald Trump may have read a book

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The revelations from journalist Michael Wolf’s explosive new book Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House continue to come thick and fast, perhaps the most stunning revelation of all is that Donald Trump may have read it.

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Alt-right children left upset at being forced to choose between their two Dads

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After Steve Bannon and Donald Trump began trading verbal blows in public, the children of the alt-right have been forced to choose between the two men they love the most.

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White House insists ‘no subtext’ to Donald Trump’s boast about a ‘bigger, thicker, harder button’

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Trump’s boast of a nice, girthy nuclear button absolutely does not speak to a deeper insecurity, according to reports this morning.

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