World

Donald Trump promotes US energy production through burning of exciting new substance called ‘coal’

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After learning about a revolutionary new energy source called coal, Donald Trump is reportedly keen to promote its use through taxpayer subsidies.

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Don’t do it, UK tells Catalonia

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The UK has told the Catalan people that ‘independence’ might not work out quite the way they want it to.

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Tax-funded $250,000 hissy fit ‘great value for money’ insist Trump supporters

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The hundreds of thousands of dollars spent on Mike Pence’s trip to pre-emptively flounce out of a football game was a fabulous use of taxpayers’ money, according to Trump supporters this morning.

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Precious little snowflake leaves football game after some bigger boys upset him

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Vice President Mike Pence has flounced out of an American Football game after some players dared to exercise their first amendment rights.

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Harvey Weinstein welcomed with great fanfare into the Republican Party

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The legendary film producer has received plaudits from GOP members who believe he has now proven that he has what it takes to become a party grandee and a senatorial candidate.

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Caring Trump takes time on Vegas trip to comfort favourite hooker

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The world saw the compassionate side to President Donald Trump as he took time during his busy visit to Las Vegas to look in on his favourite hooker to make sure she hadn’t been caught up in the tragic events on Sunday evening.

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Donald Trump wins Nobel Peace Prize

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President Trump has today been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his commitment to maintaining world peace.

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White House aides sweating as Trump attempts to pronounce ‘Niger’ on live TV

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Following a deadly attack in Niger in which three US soldiers died, White House officials are bracing themselves for President Trump’s televised comments on the matter.

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Heckler & Koch release fully automatic ‘thoughts and prayers’ gun

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A new firearm capable of spraying a sustained barrage of up to 500 empty platitudes a minute has been released by America’s premier home defence manufacturer today.

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Stock photo sites report yet another spike in searches for “American flag + gun”

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Stock photo websites worldwide have reported yet another massive increase in searches for “American flag + gun” in recent days as countless more futile articles about gun control are published.

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