World

Internet researchers discover revolutionary new ways to be offended online

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Experts in Internetology have identified many exciting new ways for users to take personal offence, they have announced today.

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Indian schools’ top excuse for late homework now ‘the Leopard ate it’

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Indian school children have been given a foolproof excuse for late homework after a Leopard ran amok in a Bangalore school.

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Donald Trump pledges to rename waterboarding ‘The Ice Bucket Challenge’

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Donald Trump has pledged to reintroduce waterboarding but rename it ‘The Ice Bucket Challenge’ if elected.

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Daily Mail uncovers shocking link between visiting Moon and dying

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The Daily Mail has today unveiled a shocking report that links visiting the Moon to dying.

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American Football fans warned against dangerous excitement of watching cricket

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American Football fans have been warned off cricket as they might find it too exciting this morning.

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Amazing video footage proves existence of man in furry suit

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Incredible two-second video footage shot by someone with very shaky hands has finally proven the existence of a man in a furry suit.

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Rampant consumerism celebrates 50th consecutive Super Bowl victory

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Marketing professionals are celebrating yet another a magnificent victory in yesterday’s Super Bowl 50, after securing unprecedented levels of coverage for their range of tawdry products.

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Julian Assange to emerge from Ecuadorian embassy in desperate bid for attention

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Julian Assange is to emerge from the Ecuadorian embassy after noticing people have stopped paying attention to him, he has announced.

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Donald Trump nominated for Nobel Piece of Shit Prize

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Republican presidential hopeful Donald Trump has been nominated for the Nobel Piece of Shit prize, given annually to the largest stain on the underpants of humanity.

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Ted Cruz is not the guy out of Top Gun, Americans told

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Non-actor Ted Cruz has won the Iowa Caucuses after residents thought they were voting for Tom Cruise.

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