World

Bollywood megastar Salman Khan pretty confident being actor is ‘just like being raped’

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Bollywood megastar Salman Khan has insisted he knows exactly how it feels to be sexually assaulted after the gruelling nature of ‘playing make believe’ for his new film.

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Gigantic sea monster spotted on Google Earth identified as Cthulhu

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A gigantic Kraken-like sea monster spotted on Google Earth has been positively identified as the alien demon-god Cthulhu risen from his eternal slumber today.

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Russian athletes to appeal Olympic ban just as soon as they ‘come down’

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Russian athletes are expected to appeal their ban for wholesale doping when they come down, we can report.

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US Senate to hold prayers for shooting victims, more money from NRA

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The US Senate is to hold a vigil to pray for shooting victims and more money from the NRA, and is confident at least one of their prayers will be answered.

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Donald Trump unveils today’s gun control position

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Donald Trump has revealed what he thinks about gun control today, with a proposal to ban people on terrorism watch lists from buying guns.

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Wolves that live alone upset by negative media portrayal

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Wolves who choose to live alone feel they are becoming increasingly demonised by the world’s media.

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Qatar makes it illegal to be murdered

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The country of Qatar has introduced a bill declaring it illegal to be murdered, along with various other categories of crimes of victimhood.

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NRA unveils ‘Good Gay With a Gun’ campaign

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The NRA have responded to the Orlando massacre with their usual degree of sensitivity.

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We support better mental health care but we won’t pay any new taxes, confirms NRA

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The NRA has confirmed that they support the improvement of mental health services to prevent lunatics going on rampages, but they won’t pay any more tax.

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Donald Trump calls for ban on non-white Americans born in New York

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After it was revealed that Orlando shooter Omar Mateen was a US citizen born in New York, Donald Trump has extended his proposed ban on Muslims to include non-whites born in the United States.

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