World

President Trump condemns Wakanda for not supporting Syria strikes

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Donald Trump is angry with the fictional nation of Wakanda.

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Please resume your sick barbarism with conventional bombs, West tells Syria

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The Syrian regime is free to continue murdering innocents the conventional way now that we’ve had our little tantrum, Western powers today agreed.

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Jeremy Corbyn demands video-assisted refereeing for chemical weapon atrocities

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Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn believes new VAR technology could be used to apportion blame in the Syrian conflict.

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Despite every other intervention in the Middle East being a disaster, this time it’ll be different, insists West

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Whilst acknowledging that every single intervention made by the West in the Middle East has been a complete catastrophe for all concerned, the West has insisted that this time it will definitely be different, and everything will work out splendidly.

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Syrian chemical attacks were Andrew Lloyd Webber stage production, claims Russia

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Russians who accused the British of “staging” the recent chemical attacks in Syria have pointed the finger at Andrew Lloyd Webber, according to reports.

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Humankind enjoys final nuclear apocalypse-free weekend

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The citizens of the world awake are enjoying their final weekend before the entire planet is irradiated forever by a collection of demented war-hungry lunatics who, for some reason, people have seen fit to elect to power.

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Will my local branch of Greggs survive a nuclear war, ask worried Britons

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With a thermonuclear war between the United States and Russia imminent, Britons have raised concerns about the viability of Greggs in an apocalyptic wasteland.

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Global hope that tensions may recede after Putin tweets ‘U OK hon? PM me’

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There is hope that Russia and America may be stepping back from the brink of war after Putin tweeted ‘U OK hon? PM me.’

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Scooby-Doo and the gang rip off Mark Zuckerberg’s mask to reveal Tom from MySpace

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Mark Zuckerberg was actually Tom from MySpace all along, according to Scooby Doo and his gang of inquisitive friends.

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New Facebook apology android makes convincing first public appearance

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A new Facebook apology android’s first public appearance, as a replacement for Mark Zuckerberg at a Senate hearing, has been judged a largely successful one.

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