World

Presidential trip judged a success after Trump doesn’t soil himself or punch anyone

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The White House has hailed Donald Trump’s visit to Europe and the Middle East a success after the President succeeded in neither publicly soiling himself or punching anyone.

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Melania Trump seeks asylum in Sicily

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Melania Trump has escaped high security at the G7 summit in Sicily and is believed to be seeking asylum in the island’s capital Palermo.

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America hastily building wall to stop Donald Trump getting back in

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Donald Trump’s first international visit has been marked by frenzied construction on the borders of his home country.

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Donald Trump grabs Pope by the pussy

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There were red faces in the Trump administration after it emerged that on meeting the Pope, the President of the United States attempted to grab him by the groin.

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Donald Trump and Pope agree $110bn arms deal

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The Vatican has defended signing a huge arms deal with the USA this morning, saying Donald Trump can be ‘unexpectedly persuasive’ when you’re in the same room.

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Saudi Arabia criticises Donald Trump over his treatment of women

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The government of Saudi Arabia has rebuked visiting US president Donald Trump for the way he treats women.

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Robert Mueller found bound, gagged, and shot in an alley behind Trump Tower

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Former FBI chief Robert Mueller’s hooded, bound corpse has been found alongside the trash behind Donald Trump’s skyscraper in New York.

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‘I also can’t think of another politician treated more unfairly than Donald Trump’ says Winnie Mandela

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Winnie Mandela has today come out in support of Donald Trump and says that she too is struggling to think of another politician who’s been treated as badly or unfairly as him.

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Donald Trump to learn what real wealth, power and control looks like during visit to Vatican

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President Trump is to be given a glimpse into what being stupidly wealthy and holding power over hundreds of millions of people can really look like during a planned trip to the Vatican next week.

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“There is no Trump, only Zuul” confirms voice from White House refrigerator

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A hellish, disembodied voice from a refrigerator has been appointed White House spokesman in the latest staff shakeup.

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