World

Facebook to create new ‘workplace network’ for twats

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Facebook is to introduce a new workplace network for people who are ‘in business’.

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US adds FIFA to Axis of Evil

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The US has expanded the Axis of Evil to include World football governing body, FIFA.

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Kim Kardashian slammed for ‘offensive’ science shirt

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Just days after attempting to ‘break the internet’ with her nude photoshoot in New York’s Paper Magazine, the reality TV star has been criticised for wearing a shirt that ‘demeans’ the scientific community.

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European space robot Philae criticised for parking in comet’s disabled bay

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European robot probe Philae has been criticised for parking in a disabled bay on Comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko, simply because it was more convenient.

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Pyongyang claims Kim Jong-un recovery so spectacular he’ll soon be able to fly

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Pyongyang has revealed that Kim Jong-un’s legs have recovered at such an incredible rate, that he will soon be able to fly.

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Homophobic iPad owners furious at Tim Cook for making things they love

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Homophobic iPad and iPhone owners have reacted to the news that Apple CEO Tim Cook is gay by angrily punching messages of hate into a device they absolutely love.

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China applauds politely as Zuckerberg slowly explains he’d like to ‘sex dump grandma’

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Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has received polite applause from a Chinese university audience, despite accidentally telling them in Mandarin that he would like to do rude things to their grandmothers.

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‘The Meek’ facing enormous Inheritance Tax bill

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The nation’s meek have been left shocked at the size of their potential Inheritance Tax bill, according to reports this morning.

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Paris’ giant sex toy sculpture sells on eBay to ‘K Price of Sussex’

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The giant green butt plug sculpture which caused such furore in Paris, has been sold on eBay to a user named K Price who lives in Sussex.

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Oscar Pistorius to finally find out what a burglar in your toilet actually sounds like

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Oscar Pistorius has been sentenced to five years in prison, and will finally have the opportunity to find out what it actually sounds like when a criminal is using your toilet.

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