World

Pope Francis refusing to watch television ‘since Argentina defeat in final of Italia 90′

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Pope Francis has claimed not to have watched television since 1990, after putting his foot through the screen watching West Germany beat Argentina in the final of Italia ’90.

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Putin scores hat-trick in 2018 World Cup final

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Russian president Vladimir Putin, has surpassed his already considerable sporting achievements by scoring a hat trick in the final of a yet-to-be-played football tournament.

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Reckless Shell boss chooses ‘full flush’ button when urinating

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Irresponsible Shell CEO, Simon Williams, is engaged in a deadly game of Russian roulette with the environment, according to sources.

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Qatar urged to stick to bribery after ‘amateur’ intimidation attempt

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World Cup host Qatar has been reminded that it is much better at bribing people to get its own way, than intimidating them.

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Heroic crocodile tackles 6 foot, two inch tall royal parasite

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A plucky 3.1 metre long Australian crocodile tackled a dangerous 6 foot two inch royal ginger parasite, according to sources today.

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Woman wears dress

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A woman yesterday wore a dress. She is famous. It was somewhere glamorous.

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Johnny Depp now completely shit

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Hollywood hunk Johnny Depp is now officially completely shit, according to recent reports.

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NSA hugely grateful to Microsoft for how-old.net

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The US National Security Agency has thanked Microsoft for creating a website where people will repeatedly upload mug shots of themselves for them to file away as they please.

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Adult industry celebrates as someone finally uses ‘Share on Facebook’ button

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The adult entertainment industry is on the verge of a social revolution, after one site reported a user clicking the ‘Share on Facebook’ button after watching a video.

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Why do the countries I’ve threatened to invade not like me, asks Putin

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Russian President Vladimir Putin has today expressed unhappiness and confusion that countries he’s threatened aren’t being friendlier.

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