World

Turkeys in shock vote against Christmas

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Turkeys have delivered a defiant response to supporters of Christmas, insisting they do not want to be part of it under the current proposals.

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New Mission Impossible film to feature Tom Cruise escaping from Church of Scientology

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The latest instalment in the Mission: Impossible franchise features Tom Cruise escaping from the Church of Scientology, we can report.

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Titanic to hold referendum on deckchair arrangement

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The Captain of the SS Titanic has announced there will be a referendum on the arrangement of deckchairs this weekend.

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US Supreme Court rules homophobes and bigots should go f*ck themselves

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The US Supreme Court made history today by ruling that closet cases and other bigots who try to feel better about themselves by hating gays should probably, on balance, get fucked.

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Westboro Baptist Church proven right as America falls into the sea

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America has fallen into the sea and is utterly lost, we can exclusively report this afternoon.

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95% of all Facebook posts now complete drivel

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A new study has revealed that the vast majority of posts to Facebook are utterly shit.

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Greece given last chance for 1,274th time

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Greece has been given it’s 1,274th last chance, we can report this morning.

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North Korea invents Bacon

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North Korean supreme leader Kim Jong-Un has discovered a new wonder food called ‘Bacon’, the Korean Central News Agency announced today.

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We came up with a solution to the Greek crisis but the dog ate it, says EU

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The European Union came up with a costed, workable and equitable plan to resolve the Greek crisis over the weekend but the dog ate it, we can report this morning.

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Confederate flag protest sees Duke Of Hazzard forced to borrow wife’s Nissan Micra

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The US confederate flag protest has now reached Hazzard County, making life difficult for cousins Luke and Bo Duke.

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