World

Eric Trump farting the National Anthem and hookers: Inauguration plans revealed

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The timetable for the Inauguration of President Trump has been revealed and looks set to be a day of glamour and dignity.

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Operation to remove malignant Michael Gove from Donald Trump’s colon ‘a complete success’

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An operation to have Michael Gove surgically removed from the arse of Donald Trump has been a success, according to reports emerging from the US.

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UK will definitely get quick trade deal with US because Donald Trump always tells the truth

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Michael Gove has insisted that the UK will get a speedy trade deal with the US because president-elect Donald Trump has proven himself to be a man of his word when it comes to making deals.

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All Americans to schedule 5-minute slots with President Trump for personal feuds

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The entire American population is being urged to schedule five-minute slots with Donald Trump, so he can fit in a personal feud with all of them during his term as President.

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People who want to see the Donald Trump sex tape told to seek urgent psychiatric help

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The government has been warned that mental health provision is unlikely to be able to cope if the Donald Trump sex tape is released.

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America set to enjoy final fuckery-free, Trumpless weekend

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America is gearing up to enjoy the last unfucked weekend they’re going to have for the foreseeable future.

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Exclusive interview: Donald Trump loves fake news

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President Elect Donald Trump has made it clear that he is a huge fan of fake news.

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Mark E Smith furious not to be invited to perform at Trump’s Presidential inauguration

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Donald Trump has declined to ask The Fall to perform at his inauguration, insisting that he has some standards.

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Sharing of fake news should be limited to birth certificates, insists Donald Trump

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President-elect Donald Trump has called on the mainstream media to only share fake news when it relates to birth certificates he himself has questioned.

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Obama could still take our guns off us until next week, right? ask midwesterners

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Smart firearm owners aren’t letting their guard down until they’re sure Obama has gone.

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