World

Charles Manson was actually a pretty nice guy, insists Morrissey

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Morrissey has today leapt to the defence of a rather pleasant chap who had the misfortune to have been convicted of orchestrating murder.

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Angela Merkel promises Germany strong and stable governm… oh shit

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Angela Merkel has promised Germany strong and stable government in the natio- oh Christ she’s got less of a mandate than Theresa May.

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Stubborn stains to be renamed ‘Mugabes’

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Unwanted stains that are impossible to get rid of are henceforth to be known as ‘Mugabes’.

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Robert Mugabe seeks advice from Arsene Wenger on how to cling to power

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Robert Mugabe has sought the wise counsel of Arsene Wenger.

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Murdering c*nt dies

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Cult leader, Charles Manson, is dead. Thank Christ.

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Malcolm Young on his way to the promised land

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The death of Malcolm Young means the Devil most certainly does not have the best tunes anymore.

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New study reveals Chinese just as good at whispering as anyone else

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Researchers have sent shockwaves around primary schools and playgroups by revealing that the Chinese are no better or worse at whispering than any other race.

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Well-regulated militia wondering when all those gun owners are going to join it

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The only well-regulated militia in the United States has issued a desperate call for members after discovering gun owners are oddly reluctant to join it.

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US Navy pilots apologise for drawing huge penis in the sky

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Trainee navy pilots have apologised for any offence after being caught drawing a huge penis in the sky.

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Robert Mugabe insists he is still the best person to provide Zimbabwe with ‘strong and stable leadership’

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The man who has held power in Zimbabwe since 1987 until becoming a victim of a military coup d’etat this week is still insisting that he is the best person to lead the country.

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