World

America’s bums furious at comparisons to Donald Trump

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Bums across America have lashed out after Lebron James likened them to Donald Trump.

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Fire athletes who say USA isn’t great, insists President who says same thing

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Donald Trump has suggested dissenting NFL players should be fired, despite winning the Presidency on a campaign of dissension.

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Donald Trump invited to visit Planet Earth

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Humanity has issued an official invitation for lunatic hair-man Donald Trump to visit Planet Earth.

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North Korea changes national anthem to Elton John’s ‘Rocket Man’

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North Korea has a new national anthem, and it’s a catchy one, it has emerged today.

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UN officials nostalgic for the sharp intellect and witty prose of George W Bush

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Permanent staff and veteran diplomats at the United Nations have congregated in the canteen to tell bittersweet stories about the speeches of the last Republican president, with many admitting they regretted the harsh words they put into official missives at the time.

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An engineer can come out to investigate fault on Necker Island in 4-6 weeks, Richard Branson told

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Richard Branson is reported to be ‘furious’ today after Virgin told him it will take 4-6 weeks to get an engineer out to fix up Necker Island.

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North Korea asks United States to move a little bit closer

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North Korea has asked if the United States of America could move a little bit closer to their missile launch sites, please.

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Donald Trump ‘doing his bit’ for Irma victims with 50% discount on MAGA hats for anyone with Florida zip code

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President Trump has told America that he is doing everything he can to help Florida residents struck by Hurricane Irma, by offering discounted access to Trump branded paraphernalia.

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Heartbroken Jean-Claude Juncker vows to keep playing the piano until UK comes back to EU

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EU President Jean-Claude Juncker has vowed to keep playing the piano as a demonstration of his love until the UK changes its mind and comes back to the EU.

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“I did not have sexual relations with myself” insists Ted Cruz

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Ted Cruz has denied having had a sexual encounter with ‘that man’ after liking pornography on Twitter overnight.

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