World

Ireland votes to kick Bishop Brennan up the arse

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In a landslide vote yesterday, Ireland has voted for Bishop Brennan to be kicked ‘right up the arse’.

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Irish women voting to have as much control over their bodies as they do over their emails

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On the day that new laws come into force ensuring that women in Ireland will have full control over their mailbox, the nation is voting on whether this should be extended to include full control over their uterus.

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Irish voters urged to drag nation into 20th Century

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Ireland goes to the polls today to vote in a national referendum on whether women should be allowed to decide how their bodies are used, or not.

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Morgan Freeman allegedly pinched woman’s arse while narrating the whole thing

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Morgan Freeman has been accused not only of sexually harassing women but of callously narrating the incidents as they happened.

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Donald Trump is Malcolm X reincarnated, claims Steve Bannon

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The man credited with winning the White House for Donald Trump has appeared on BBC Newsnight and controversially declared his former boss was a strong leader who would “lead his Nubian brothers to their promised glory. Usuthu!”

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SAS selection trials to include one month in an American High School

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Soldiers aspiring to join the elite Special Air Service will now have to spend one month in an American high school to prove their survival credentials.

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Prince Harry found tied naked to lamppost with L plate on his arse

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The soon-to-be Duke of Sussex is being hurried back to Windsor after being found stark naked in Dundee with a traffic cone on his head.

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You can keep your thoughts and prayers because you could fix this yourself, God tells America

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God has rejected America’s latest set of thoughts and prayers following the Santa Fe school shooting, telling them he doesn’t grant prayers for things you can easily fix yourself.

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Outrage after historians discover that Anne Frank used the term ‘gammon’ to describe Nazi soldiers

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Loft-dwelling diarist Anne Frank is facing posthumous criticism today for her description of Nazi soldiers as ‘gammon’.

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Israel accuses Palestinian protesters of running in front of their bullets just to make them look bad

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Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu has told the international community that Palestinian protesters deliberately ran in front of bullets fired by Israel during yesterday’s border protests in order to make them look bad.

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