World

Newt Gingrich to base Presidential platform on ‘sanctity of third marriage’

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Newt Gringrich is to base his campaign for the Republican presidential nomination on the platform of American values and the sanctity of third marriages.

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Headline shut down by US government

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This article has been removed by order of the United States government.

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Newt Gingrich attacks media for behaving like Newt Gingrich

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US Republican presidential contender Newt Gingrich has launched a scathing attack on the media for behaving in a way normally associated with Newt Gingrich.

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International community acted too late to prevent Lenny Henry TV appearances

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The slow response of the international community to the famine in East Africa led to the needless suffering of millions of comparatively well-off TV viewers after it caused what aid organisations have described as “avoidable TV appearances by Lenny Henry”.

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North Korea claims responsibility for Wikipedia blackout

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North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has claimed victory over western intelligence following the blackout of Wikipedia, raising fears that the secretive state may have developed an internet-seeking missile.

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Wikipedia blackout forces students to copy from printed ‘hardcopy websites’

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As Wikipedia went ‘dark’ in protest at US legislation that could affect free access to information on the Internet, thousands of students were forced to copy their work from printed websites with terrible search functionality.

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Radical cleric’s deportation ruled out on grounds that he didn’t infringe US copyright laws

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Radical cleric Abu Qatada has won his appeal against deportation from the UK to Jordan at the European Court of Human Rights after it transpired that he didn’t make the same mistake as Sheffield student Richard O’Dwyer, and infringe any US copyright laws.

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‘Of course the cruise ship was off course’ says absolutely everyone

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The cruise ship Costs Concordia that ran aground on an island off the Italian coast was probably off-course, according to an initial report by lazy investigators.

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US Marines urged to limit enemy abuse to ‘shooting them in the face’

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As the US Marines responsible for urinating on dead Taliban fighters were identified, observers have insisted that the abuse of enemy combatants should be limited to trying to kill them at every single opportunity.

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Syrian President Assad hires reggae singer Shaggy as PR advisor

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Lunatic Syrian dictator President Assad has hired reggae singer Shaggy as his new public relations advisor in an attempt to liven up his increasingly frequent denials.

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