UK

Road to Brexit blocked by five-politician pile-up

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Police have confirmed that the road to Brexit will be closed for ‘some time to come’ following a serious multi-politician collision shortly after junction one, apparently caused by them all trying to drive in different directions.

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World braces itself for Peter Rabbit and the Dry-Roasted Peanuts

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A sequel to a film in which Peter Rabbit exploits food allergies for personal gain is likely to cause a further worldwide uproar among twats.

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Ofcom swamped with complaints as everyone survives first episode of ITV’s Survival of the Fittest

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ITV faced intense criticism as the first episode of their new show, billed as Love Island in the savanna, saw all contestants remain alive after facing challenges usually associated with a company team building exercise at a leisure centre in Daventry.

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Oxfam lacks moral leadership, insists government that’s spent eight years f*cking the poor

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Oxfam is lacking in moral leadership, according to a government that’s f*cked thousands of people into an early grave. Theresa May’s ministers warned that the behaviour of a minority of Oxfam employees gave them the best excuse yet to withhold more cash from those who need it most. Meanwhile, International Development Secretary, Penny Mordaunt, insisted […]

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Harry and Meghan announce Star Wars themed wedding

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Kensington Palace has announced that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s wedding will have a strict Star Wars theme.

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Just £30 per month can provide an aid worker with access to clean prostitutes, claim Oxfam

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Oxfam has launched a new campaign which details exactly where the money from charitable giving realistically ends up.

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Team GB protests at exclusion of ‘Hill Slide on Carrier Bag’ from Winter Olympics

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The British Winter Olympic team have today submitted a formal complaint to the organisers of the South Korean event over the continued exclusion of traditional British winter sport, the hill slide on a carrier bag.

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British racists excited to see Nigel Farage branching out into new field of antisemitism

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Former UKIP leader Nigel Farage has dipped his toe into the intimidating world of Jew-hating now that George Soros has been rumoured to take action over Brexit.

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Nothing sinister about Freemasons, insists Grand Lodge Leader sipping virgin’s blood from ceremonial chalice

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A leading representative of the Freemasons has claimed there is nothing sinister about innocently worshipping the devil while dressed as a goat.

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Jeremy Corbyn considering doing something

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Rumours emerging from the Labour party seem to indicate that Jeremy Corbyn is giving serious consideration to actually doing something.

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