UK

Woman who is over a year late housing Grenfell victims very angry indeed about bonfire effigy

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Theresa May has spoken of her outrage after an effigy of Grenfell Tower was burned on a bonfire, seemingly unaware that her promise to house all victims in three weeks is now seventy weeks overdue.

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Victoria Beckham buys all Spice Girls’ reunion tour tickets and isn’t going to watch

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Victoria Beckham has bought up all of the tickets for the Spice Girls reunion and fed them through a shredder.

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David Beckham refusing to give up hope that Victoria will join Spice Girls on tour

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The Spice Girls will reform in 2019 for a stadium tour of the UK and David Beckham is still holding out hope that his wife will join them.

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Use benefit claimants as bonfire ‘Guys’ urges Theresa May

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The prime minister has encouraged communities to return to the Guy Fawkes Day tradition of lighting a huge fire, but topping it with a benefit claimant instead.

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Four poorest Spice Girls tell followers that what they really REALLY want is some more money

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Eighty per cent of the Spice Girls have made it clear that what they want – what they really, really want – is for their respective bank accounts to look a little healthier.

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I’m definitely not lying now, insists man who just admitted to lying to MPs

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Businessman and ardent Brexiter Aaron Banks used a BBC interview yesterday to explain that what he told a Parliament Select Committee was a lie, but he was being really truthful now when he explained that the biggest donation in British politics was completely legit, even if he couldn’t tell you where the money came from.

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Unexploded firework has probably gone out by now

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A firework which failed to go off on Saturday evening has probably gone out by now, experts have confirmed.

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David Cameron confident that everyone is over that whole pig f*cking thing

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Former Prime Minister David Cameron has floated the idea of a return to frontline politics after admitting his confidence that the story about his liaison with the mouth of a dead pig is now pretty much over and everyone’s forgotten about it.

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Stopping an investigation into Arron Banks isn’t even the worst decision I made that week, insists Theresa May

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Theresa May has played down rumours that she decided to prevent the nation’s security services investigating Arron Banks and his funding sources before the Brexit referendum, insisting that she makes far worse decisions on a weekly basis.

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Lone man occupying four-seater fast food booth clearly thinks he’s pretty hot shit

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A man is taking up far more space than he actually needs to at a popular fast food eatery because he thinks he’s some kind of God.

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