UK

Alex Ferguson drops Howard Webb for crucial derby match

Thumbnail image for Alex Ferguson drops Howard Webb for crucial derby match

Alex Ferguson has controversially dropped talismanic referee Howard Webb from Man Utd’s starting 12 for the crucial Premier League clash with Man City, and will instead hand a start to Andre Marriner.

Read the full article →

#helpineedanambulance Hashtag to Replace 999 Service by 2014

Thumbnail image for #helpineedanambulance Hashtag to Replace 999 Service by 2014

Members of the public will be encouraged to Tweet for an ambulance under wide-ranging reforms announced by the government over the weekend.

Read the full article →

Nadine Dorries highlights David Cameron and George Osborne as a compelling case for abortion

Thumbnail image for Nadine Dorries highlights David Cameron and George Osborne as a compelling case for abortion

Conservative backbencher Nadine Dorries, who has previously campaigned against abortion, has had a change of heart after highlighting that the country would be a better place if David Cameron and George Osborne had been terminated during pregnancy.

Read the full article →

Liverpool’s giant street girl marionette ‘already up the duff’

Thumbnail image for Liverpool’s giant street girl marionette ‘already up the duff’

The 30 foot street-theatre marionette of a young Liverpool girl is expecting her first child in November, according to experts.

Read the full article →

Juan Mata to celebrate every time ball crosses half way line

Thumbnail image for Juan Mata to celebrate every time ball crosses half way line

After Chelsea’s Juan Mata ‘scored’ a ‘goal’ in the FA Cup semi-final even though he knew the ball had not gone over the line, Chelsea have urged him and his team-mates to do the same every time the ball goes over the half way line tonight.

Read the full article →

Fracking to cause potential widespread improvements to Blackpool

Thumbnail image for Fracking to cause potential widespread improvements to Blackpool

Controversial gas extraction technique ‘fracking’ has been given the go-ahead after experts concluded any further earthquakes in the Blackpool can only be a good thing.

Read the full article →

Tom Daley to be partnered at London 2012 by Ashley Young

Thumbnail image for Tom Daley to be partnered at London 2012 by Ashley Young

Diving prodigy Tom Daley looks set to score gold at this summer’s London Olympics, after coaches revealed that Manchester United’s England winger Ashley Young has agreed to partner him in the synchronised diving event.

Read the full article →

Damien Comolli appointed Director of Talent Acquisition for travelling circus

Thumbnail image for Damien Comolli appointed Director of Talent Acquisition for travelling circus

After his sacking by Liverpool, former Director of Football Damien Comolli has landed on his feet with a new role as the Head of Talent Acquisition for Bozo’s Travelling Circus.

Read the full article →

UK already wondering how to translate ‘light pollution’ into a sick day

Thumbnail image for UK already wondering how to translate ‘light pollution’ into a sick day

As reports emerged claiming that light pollution in the skies of the UK is at record levels, work-shy layabouts began using this information to concoct barely plausible excuses to take a sick-day.

Read the full article →

BBC Breakfast presenters ‘sat in tin bath and drank from hosepipes’

Thumbnail image for BBC Breakfast presenters ‘sat in tin bath and drank from hosepipes’

The BBC has apologised to viewers in the South of England, after presenter Bill Turnbull gave a ‘brazenly Northern’ performance from their new facilities in Salford.

Read the full article →