UK

EDL to fight Muslim oppression by threatening you until you agree with them

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The EDL has claimed it can defeat oppressive militant Islamification if everyone just does and says exactly as they’re told.

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EDL invites Muslims in for a pint of ‘premium strength lager’

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After several EDL members were offered tea by a York mosque, the EDL has offered to supply largely teetotal UK Muslims with high-strength lager.

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Ashley Cole to have sex with captain’s armband

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England left-back Ashley Cole is to have sex with the captain’s armband in celebration of reach 100 caps for his country.

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Future of the Mail Online in doubt following calls to ban ‘hate’ websites

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The future of the Mail Online has been thrown into doubt following calls to ban websites that promote hate and intolerance.

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Woolwich murder definitely bringing out the best in everyone

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The sickening terrorism attack on a soldier in Woolwich has really brought out the caring, tolerant and inclusive sides of society, according to reports this morning.

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Sky News blames Hillsborough on miners strike

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A Sky News documentary will tonight make the astonishing claim that the Hillsborough disaster was the fault of Arthur Scargill.

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Shock as UKIP member’s Facebook page fails to mention any Jewish conspiracies

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There has been widespread shock throughout Britain after a member of UKIP used his Facebook account to share pictures with his friends and indulge in general chit-chat.

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Scrotums ‘furious’ over Nigel Farage comparisons

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Scrotums north and south of the border are absolutely incensed by the suggestion that Nigel Farage is one of them, according to reports.

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Men everywhere urge David Beckham to ‘let himself go a bit’

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Men everywhere have said it would be no bad thing if retiring from football meant that David Beckham put on a few pounds and wore the odd pair of sweat pants.

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‘No huge demand’ for Philip Hammond, insists gay community

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Gay people throughout the UK have resisted calls for Defence Secretary, Philip Hammond to be legalised, saying that there’s ‘very little demand’ for the MP to exist at all.

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