UK

Mark Zuckerberg hospitalised after dangerously prolonged laughing fit following ICO fine

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One of Silicon Valley’s most illustrious entrepreneurs suffered a collapsed lung and two fractured ribs after the announcement of the Information Commissioner’s Office fine of £500K led the billionaire to collapse on the floor in a fit of prolonged hysterical laughter.

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Britain to curry favour with Donald Trump by showing it too is run by incompetent f*ckwits

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Britain is preparing for Donald Trump’s visit by getting ready to show the President that it can make a bigger pig’s ear of things than him.

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Government ‘back on track’ after twenty resignation-free minutes

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Pound shop PM Theresa May has confidently announced the Government is ‘back on track’ after lasting 20 minutes without a resignation from a senior minister.

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NHS hoping to recover after removal of malignant lump

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The National Health Service is hoping it can make a full recovery after having a dangerous lump removed in an emergency operation yesterday.

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Politicians left sinking ship long before we did, insist rats

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Rats have been left outraged by politicians abandoning ship immediately after steering it into difficult waters.

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Nation stunned as man believes Boris Johnson resigned out of principle

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Journalists have flocked to a quiet Lutterworth estate following reports that a man was telling his neighbours he accepted Boris Johnson’s resignation was a dignified stand for sincere beliefs and not just another self-serving power play for which other people would have to suffer.

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‘It’s coming home’ chuckles Jacob Rees-Mogg, adjusting his ‘PM’ cuff links

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Jacob Rees-Mogg has appropriated a phrase for his own benefit.

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Popcorn sales spike across Europe

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Sales of popcorn have leapt a dramatic 4,500% across Europe today, with ‘incredible’ volumes of the snack selling in Brussels, according to reports.

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Theresa May yells “BASTARDS!” into empty cabinet room

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Theresa May is alone.

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Theresa May appoints Dominic Raab as new Chief Brexit Turd Polisher

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The new minister in charge of polishing the Brexit turd is Dominic Raab, according to sources inside number 10.

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