UK

Skripal suspects were ‘just tourists’ in same way Harold Shipman was ‘just a doctor’

Thumbnail image for Skripal suspects were ‘just tourists’ in same way Harold Shipman was ‘just a doctor’

The two suspects in the Skripal poisoning case were just innocent tourists enjoying a day of sightseeing and poisoning, according to reports this morning.

Read the full article →

Daily Mail poll demands Corbyn ‘prove himself’ by time-travelling back to kill Hitler

Thumbnail image for Daily Mail poll demands Corbyn ‘prove himself’ by time-travelling back to kill Hitler

According to a Daily Mail readers’ poll, Jeremy Corbyn must travel back in time “like the f*cking Terminator” and kill the Fuhrer, to quash anti-Semitic rumours enveloping the Labour party.

Read the full article →

Nation united in belief that people who shout at the children of MPs are massive twats

Thumbnail image for Nation united in belief that people who shout at the children of MPs are massive twats

The nation is finally united behind the common belief that the sort of person that shouts at the children of an MP, regardless of that MP’s political beliefs, is clearly a massive bellend.

Read the full article →

Richard Branson’s Instagram post about importance of punctuality mostly read by commuters on delayed Virgin trains

Thumbnail image for Richard Branson’s Instagram post about importance of punctuality mostly read by commuters on delayed Virgin trains

A post by Richard Branson on Instagram on the importance of punctuality has mostly been read by frustrated commuters waiting for one of his trains.

Read the full article →

Theresa May shotguns one last tin of Special Brew before heading into Brexit meeting

Thumbnail image for Theresa May shotguns one last tin of Special Brew before heading into Brexit meeting

Theresa May is just about buzzed enough to cope with today’s Brexit bullshit.

Read the full article →

Jacob Rees-Mogg proposes ‘space-holodecks from Star Trek’ at Irish border

Thumbnail image for Jacob Rees-Mogg proposes ‘space-holodecks from Star Trek’ at Irish border

The ERG has proposed a solution to the Irish border issue that employs the use of ‘space-holodecks from Star Trek’ to facilitate an easy transition between Ireland and Northern Ireland.

Read the full article →

‘Smack me if you want but don’t forget who’ll be choosing your nursing home’, laughs child

Thumbnail image for ‘Smack me if you want but don’t forget who’ll be choosing your nursing home’, laughs child

Amid fresh calls to ban smacking in the home, children have reminded their parents that they are free to parent how they wish but to remember who will have the last laugh.

Read the full article →

Honest takeaway ad shows man in pants shovelling curry into his mouth with his bare hands

Thumbnail image for Honest takeaway ad shows man in pants shovelling curry into his mouth with his bare hands

A new takeaway service is shaking up the industry by being brutally honest in its advertising.

Read the full article →

Brexit could end British workers’ right to take a prolonged shit at work, claim unions

Thumbnail image for Brexit could end British workers’ right to take a prolonged shit at work, claim unions

Several trade unions have sounded the alarm over a botched Brexit that could see Britons lose the sacrosanct right to take an overlong dump while on the clock.

Read the full article →

Skripal poisoning suspects ‘just massively into Salisbury’, insists Vladimir Putin

Thumbnail image for Skripal poisoning suspects ‘just massively into Salisbury’, insists Vladimir Putin

The two suspects at the centre of the Skripal scandal are just ordinary tourists who love everything Salisbury has to offer, according to Vladimir Putin.

Read the full article →