UK Spoof News and Satire

UK

‘Olympic village’ in turmoil as residents moan about state of each other’s gardens

Police attended a disturbance at the ‘Olympic village’ last night, after a row broke out over the state of one athlete’s hedge.

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Feel good stories at the end of the news to be replaced with dead paedophiles

After the nation’s spirits were lifted by the news that convicted paedophile Martin Smith has been found hanged in his cell, news broadcasters are considering replacing the lighthearted item at the end of the news with details of any incidents involving dead sex offenders.

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Britons full of shit, finds study

Research by academics at the University of Essex suggests Britons are a bunch of lying toerags who wouldn’t think twice about bullshitting their way out absolutely any situation.

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University graduates buoyed by news of 2,500 new McDonald’s jobs

University graduates previously concerned that the last three years of their lives had been a complete waste of time and money have received a boost, after McDonald’s announced 2,500 exciting opportunities for ambitious team-players.

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Mario Balotelli angered by ‘deliberate’ Redknapp tax evasion

Manchester City’s Mario Balotelli has reacted furiously after Harry Redknapp stole the attention of the world of football away from him for all of five minutes last night.

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Benefit cap to see rise in applicants per job from 23 to 2.68 million

With unemployment rising and the number of job vacancies decreasing, critics have warned that the government’s proposed benefit cap could see the average number of applicants per job increase from 23 to about 2.68 million.

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Cosmetic surgery ad ban ‘could lead to increase in product placement’

Cosmetic surgeons could be facing a ban on advertising, but watchdogs fear such a move could lead to a ‘huge swell’ in product placement.

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Parents avoid child gender stereotypes by conforming to hippy stereotype

The parents of five year-old Sasha Laxton have successfully avoided the gender stereotypes normally associated with young children by conforming to the traditional stereotype of hippies.

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Critics poisoned my name by quoting me verbatim, claims Warnock

Former QPR boss Neil Warnock has expressed his frustration at his departure from the club, citing people who repeated the words that came out of his mouth as the main reason for his sacking.

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