UK

Google fined a record two ‘DUP confidence and supply agreements’ by EU

Thumbnail image for Google fined a record two ‘DUP confidence and supply agreements’ by EU

Google have been fined a record two DUP confidence and supply agreements by the EU for distorting the online shopping market.

Read the full article →

Piers Morgan wondering how much he’ll get from new Tory policy of ‘giving money to hateful shits’

Thumbnail image for Piers Morgan wondering how much he’ll get from new Tory policy of ‘giving money to hateful shits’

Telly wanker Piers Morgan reckons he could be in line for a few grand, given the latest programme of government handouts.

Read the full article →

Derek Trotter has got a blinding deal for Theresa May

Thumbnail image for Derek Trotter has got a blinding deal for Theresa May

Legitimate businessman Derek Trotter has announced that he’s got a great deal for Theresa May, if she’s got another spare billion pounds laying around.

Read the full article →

London estate agents insist market is ‘booming’ after woman pays £1bn for house on Downing Street

Thumbnail image for London estate agents insist market is ‘booming’ after woman pays £1bn for house on Downing Street

London estate agents are today claiming the London property market is extremely buoyant after a 60-year-old woman paid £1bn for a terraced property with an SW1A postcode.

Read the full article →

Barnett Formula calculated to equal the square root of fuck all

Thumbnail image for Barnett Formula calculated to equal the square root of fuck all

The Barnett Formula, the mechanism that proportionately allocates government funding to England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, has been calculated to equal the square root of fuck all in the wake of the £1bn of extra cash given to Northern Ireland in return for the DUP supporting the minority Tory government.

Read the full article →

EU Brexit team absolutely delighted to see Tories out-negotiated by DUP for a billion quid

Thumbnail image for EU Brexit team absolutely delighted to see Tories out-negotiated by DUP for a billion quid

Brexit negotiators inside the EU could not be happier to see the UK government writing massive cheques when put under a little bit of pressure, according to sources in Brussels.

Read the full article →

Everyone in Northern Ireland to get a free pony

Thumbnail image for Everyone in Northern Ireland to get a free pony

Everyone in Northern Ireland will receive a free pony, Theresa May has confirmed today.

Read the full article →

Regular coffee drinkers ‘should switch to Cocaine’ for morning boost

Thumbnail image for Regular coffee drinkers ‘should switch to Cocaine’ for morning boost

Coffee has probably stopped working if you’re drinking loads of it.

Read the full article →

UK set for unprecedented economic boom as Brexiters begin ‘talking the country up’

Thumbnail image for UK set for unprecedented economic boom as Brexiters begin ‘talking the country up’

After learning that how you talk about the country can affect its economic performance on the world stage, Brexiters full of positive thoughts have told the nation to prepare for unprecedented growth.

Read the full article →

Tories agree £1bn deal with DUP after finally locating elusive magic money tree

Thumbnail image for Tories agree £1bn deal with DUP after finally locating elusive magic money tree

A magical tree on which government money grows has miraculously been found in time to secure a deal with the DUP, a government spokesperson has confirmed.

Read the full article →