A study exploring the ever-evolving quirks of British speakers of the English language has confirmed that those who choose to say the invasive American ‘asshole’ over the classic British ‘arsehole’ are ‘massive twats of the highest order’.
After NASA announced a press conference to reveal a ‘discovery beyond our solar system’, sources reported that they may have finally found Chris Waddle’s World Cup semi-final penalty shoot-out miss from Italia ’90.
A London couple has been told they are not allowed to enter into a civil partnership in what white middle-class London-based heterosexual couples are calling ‘another example of the disgraceful prejudicial treatment we encounter on a daily basis’.
Following the publication of a report by the British Medical Association that has warned that the NHS is at ‘breaking point’, the ever popular Health Secretary has expressed delight that everything is going according to plan.
The House of Lords is to give it’s verdict on the Brexit bill today, and has been warned to respect the will of the people and, like them, base it’s decision on wilful ignorance and thinly veiled racism.