UK

We won and you need to get over it, Vote Leave tells Electoral Commission

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Officials behind the Vote Leave campaign have told the Electoral Commission that they won, and it’s about time the Electoral Commission got over it.

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Jacob Rees-Mogg given right of Prima Nocta in attempt to stave off Brexiter rebellion

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Theresa May has seen off a potential leadership challenge by accepting an ERG amendment to the latest Brexit Bill and awarding their leader, Jacob Rees-Mogg, the ancient medieval right to first bed any newlywed maiden in Somerset.

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Weary nation prepares for yet another referendum after Theresa May categorically rules it out

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There is definitely going to be another referendum now that Theresa May has ruled it out, according to voters sick to the back teeth of this stuff.

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Please stop calling me ‘daddy’, Putin begs Donald Trump

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Vladimir Putin really doesn’t like Donald Trump referring to him as “daddy”.

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Piers Morgan relieved to find lost cufflink deep inside Donald Trump’s colon

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Piers Morgan is celebrating this morning after finding a valuable cufflink he had written off as lost while deep inside the colon of Donald Trump during his most recent interview with the American President.

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Man who thinks ‘participation trophies’ have ruined a generation demands open top bus parade for England team

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A man who will loudly tell you that participation trophies and celebrating ‘taking part’ instead of winning has ruined an entire generation, is demanding the England team get an open top bus parade finishing fourth at the World Cup.

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Liam Fox still waiting for someone to explain his job to him

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Despite holding his ministerial position for two years, Liam Fox is still waiting for someone to come and explain what he’s supposed to do.

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Anonymous American caller begs Babestation girl to piss on bed

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A Babestation model was left speechless on Saturday night after an American caller asked her to piss on her bed.

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Donald Trump announces new policy of regime change directed at the United Kingdom

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The president of the United States last night confirmed his government are now seeking to topple the UK government in order to install one more amenable to his and his friends’ worldview.

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Hard-hitting Piers Morgan interview finally uncovers President Trump’s favourite colour

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Piers Morgan scored an exclusive interview with Donald Trump aboard Air Force One, and has revealed he managed what no other reporter has ever managed, in getting the president to admit his favourite colour.

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