UK

Free packet of spice with tomorrow’s Daily Mail

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The Daily Mail is giving away a bit of drugs tomorrow.

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Would you make a Great Dictator? Take our test to find out!

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There are so many excellent dictators to choose from, but do YOU have what it takes to be in their gang?

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EU offers to make Northern Ireland French, if it will help

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The EU has attempted to break the deadlock in Brexit negotiations by offering to make Northern Ireland French.

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Fungi producers facing bankruptcy as everybody off mushrooms now

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Some fungi producers have announced that they face bankruptcy as salacious revelations about Donald Trump’s penis has made everyone nauseous at the thought of mushrooms.

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New Tesco discount store lacking the level of utter chaos required to pose threat to Aldi or Lidl

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Tesco discount store Jack’s is nowhere near chaotic enough to pose a legitimate threat to Aldi or Lidl, it has emerged.

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Leaked document shows that the UK will register as a charity after Brexit

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A document leaked to the press today has confirmed that from 1st April 2019, the UK will be registered as an independent charity, with the ability to apply for funding from the likes of Oxfam, The Red Cross and Amnesty International.

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Yoghurt is this week’s thing that will definitely kill you

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Yoghurt will kill you and everyone you care about, according to reports from health experts this morning.

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Prime Minister ruins wedding photos

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Theresa May has randomly rocked up to ruin some poor couple’s wedding photos.

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Students who bunked lectures during Homeopathy degree secure better marks than full attendees

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The University of Basingstoke has confirmed that the less often students turned up for classes on its new Homeopathy degree course, the higher the mark they got.

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Storm Ali will try and groom your kids, insists Tommy Robinson

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A distinctly Muslim sounding storm approaching the UK’s shores is likely to try and groom your children, according to Tommy Robinson.

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