UK Spoof News and Satire

UK

Vatican reeling as DNA tests show communion wafers contain 0% Christ

The Vatican is this morning facing a further crisis after routine DNA tests revealed that the communion wafers used in Sunday mass contain 0% of the body and blood of Christ.

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Killing people more important than looking after them, confirms Hammond

Killing foreign people is much important than looking after our own people, claimed Defence Secretary Phillip Hammond today, insisting further benefit cuts should be used to prevent defence cuts.

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Undercover policeman job applications up 750,000%

Jobs where men get paid to lie to women about who they are, before having sex with them, are incredibly popular according to new figures released today.

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5 year-old racks up massive bill after putting iPad down to ‘turn up radiator’

The parents of a five year-old boy have said they are requesting a full refund after their son racked up a massive utility bill by putting down his iPad long enough to turn up a few radiators.

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Cameron and Clegg ‘perfect couple’ for Mars Mission, insists everyone

David Cameron and Nick Clegg are the ideal choice for Dennis Tito’s Mars adventure wildcard voyage to the Red Planet, according to the entire population of the UK.

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Watered-up Budweiser ‘had dangerous levels of flavour’

Fans of bland booze are suing the makers of Budweiser, claiming the flavour became ‘dangerously overwhelming’ after it was fortified with water.

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IKEA sofa found to contain traces of rocking horse

IKEA has withdrawn a popular range of sofas after tests revealed it contains traces of rocking horse.

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Steve McClaren to part company with Dutch accent

Following his sacking by FC Twente, Steve McClaren and his extraordinary accent have announced they are to sensationally part company.

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Guerrilla marketing firm hails ‘Try Horse Meat’ campaign as massive success

The marketing agency retained by the horse meat industry to get people to try their product has claimed it deserves some sort of award after IKEA became to latest brand to fall foul of their stunt.

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