UK

Tony Blair resigns in glory after bringing peace to the Middle East

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Tony Blair has resigned as Middle East peace envoy after ushering in an era of unprecedented peace and prosperity to the region.

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Banning ‘legal highs’ will make them just as hard to get as cannabis, insists government

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Government plans to ban ‘legal highs’ will make them as hard to get hold of as cannabis, we can report today.

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EU referendum question to be: ‘Do you not want to leave or stay in or out of the EU?’

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The official phraseology of the question at the centre of the forthcoming EU referendum will be reassuringly complicated, according to reports today.

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New UKIP leader to be chosen via Australian-style points system

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An Australian-style points system will be used to determine potential candidates for UKIP leadership, it has emerged today.

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Labour to select new leader using the Charlie Charlie Challenge

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The Labour Party is to select its new leader using the Charlie Charlie challenge, we can report today.

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Sam Allardyce to take over at Labour

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Labour are set to announce that they have appointed Sam Allardyce as leader.

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‘Shabby Chic’ just laziness, admit upcyclers

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Thousands of bits of furniture advertised as ‘Shabby Chic’ are just unfinished paint jobs it can be revealed today.

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Massive cry of ‘No Shit, Sherlock’ as City trader is accused of being greedy

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A new contempt-of-court record has been set in today’s Libor manipulation trial as 53 members of the public gallery yelled out a sarcastic slogan at the same time.

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Ryanair’s increased profits land 80 miles from intended HQ

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Budget airline Ryanair has been left red-faced today as a jump in profits arrived 80 miles from its expected destination.

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Government ministers’ wages to be frozen at current ‘staggering’ levels

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David Cameron has announced plans to freeze minister’s wages for the next five years and prevent them making the jump from staggeringly wealthy to obscenely wealthy.

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