UK

Ratings agencies failing to take into account UK’s huge rise in sovereignty, insists Brexiter

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After Moody’s downgraded the UK’s credit rating to Aa2 following Theresa May’s speech in Florence, Brexiters have accused rating agencies of failing to understand the power of sovereignty.

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Uber to ‘take back control’ by negotiating deals with each individual Londoner

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Ride-sharing service Uber has claimed it will be taking back control of its destiny by negotiating deals with individual Londoners, after losing its deal with TfL.

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Man hugely excited about his busy weekend of doing absolutely f*ck all

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Wokingham resident Simon Williams can’t wait to get started on his busy weekend of doing absolutely f*ck all, according to reports.

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Londoners busy marking themselves as ‘safe’ after devastating Uber loss

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Uber users across the capital have been taking to social media to mark themselves as ‘safe’ after being subject to the devastating removal of Uber’s licence to operate.

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Random men picking you up in banged-up cars not good enough for snooty London

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Uber has been denied its license renewal by Transport for London, despite Londoners craving danger when using the capital’s transport infrastructure.

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Hopes fading as search continues for Brexiter who thinks Brexit is ‘going really well’

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Hopes are fading fast as the nation continues to search for a Brexiter who is willing to state publicly that Brexit is ‘going great and precisely to plan’.

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Theresa May’s Florence speech to be delivered on her knees and begin ‘Please, please, please’

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Leaks from within Government have revealed that Theresa May’s crucial Brexit speech in Florence will be delivered on her knees in supplication and will open with the words ‘Please, please, please’.

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Banks to help track migrants by reporting suspicious foreign behaviour like saving money

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British banks have been ordered to go over 70 million accounts and report any un-British activity like managing finances sensibly. 

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Donald Trump tip-off sees Theresa May strike up post-Brexit trade deal with Nambia

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Theresa May will use some of the control Britain will take back from the EU to strike a legendary trade deal with Nambia, it has emerged.

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‘Clever’ brexiter quits gym by offering to pay equivalent of a year’s Membership

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A cunning Brexiter has taken a leaf right out of Theresa May’s book.

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