UK

HR confirm impending nuclear armageddon is not a valid excuse for spending afternoon in sunny pub garden

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The HR department has confirmed that impending nuclear Armageddon and the ensuing extinction of all life on earth is no excuse for spending the afternoon in the pub.

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Shock as May and Johnson ‘dream team’ fails to generate goodwill among Commonwealth leaders

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British geopolitical experts were at a loss when trying to explain why the presence of two politicians held in such esteem by BME people failed to alleviate concerns by Commonwealth leaders over the treatment of their citizens.

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Arsene Wenger to leave Arsenal following 3,785th last straw

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Arsene Wenger is finally leaving Arsenal.

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Brexiter forgets what he’s supposed to be furious about today

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There was embarrassment earlier for a Brexit supporter who went online to declare he was furious, but was then unable to recall exactly what it was he was supposed to be furious about.

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If an EU passport is so important you should have chosen to have Nigel Farage as your Dad, Remoaners told

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Whining remoaners desperate to retain their EU passports have today been told that where they went wrong was not having Nigel Farage as their Dad.

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Weather more likely to bring London to a standstill than terrorists, reports confirm

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A nice sunny afternoon is more likely to put a Londoner off getting to work than someone directly trying to murder them, reports have confirmed today.

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Dog rescued from hot car, car rightly set on fire

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An irresponsible dog owner has returned to the wreck he so clearly deserved.

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Britons get the big fan out

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British citizens have gone into the loft or under-stairs cupboard to get the big fan out.

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Should I take off my shirt in public? Take the test to find out!

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The sun is out, and it’s the hottest April day in seventy years – but should you take your top off in public?

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Tory MP lost his seat due to 10 retweets, insists government claiming Fake News didn’t affect Brexit referendum

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Theresa May has told parliament that former Tory MP Byron Davies lost his Gower seat in Wales due to a tweet that was shared ten times and liked seven times, despite insisting thousands of fake news tweets did not affect the referendum outcome one iota.

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