UK

Piers Morgan relieved to find lost cufflink deep inside Donald Trump’s colon

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Piers Morgan is celebrating this morning after finding a valuable cufflink he had written off as lost while deep inside the colon of Donald Trump during his most recent interview with the American President.

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Man who thinks ‘participation trophies’ have ruined a generation demands open top bus parade for England team

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A man who will loudly tell you that participation trophies and celebrating ‘taking part’ instead of winning has ruined an entire generation, is demanding the England team get an open top bus parade finishing fourth at the World Cup.

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Liam Fox still waiting for someone to explain his job to him

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Despite holding his ministerial position for two years, Liam Fox is still waiting for someone to come and explain what he’s supposed to do.

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Anonymous American caller begs Babestation girl to piss on bed

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A Babestation model was left speechless on Saturday night after an American caller asked her to piss on her bed.

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Donald Trump announces new policy of regime change directed at the United Kingdom

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The president of the United States last night confirmed his government are now seeking to topple the UK government in order to install one more amenable to his and his friends’ worldview.

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Hard-hitting Piers Morgan interview finally uncovers President Trump’s favourite colour

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Piers Morgan scored an exclusive interview with Donald Trump aboard Air Force One, and has revealed he managed what no other reporter has ever managed, in getting the president to admit his favourite colour.

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Donald Trump criticises Windsor Castle as ‘an old dump in need of modernisation’ after visit

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The reality TV star who is also technically the President of the United States has slammed Windsor Castle after visiting it today.

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Donald Trump asks Queen why she built her castle underneath Heathrow’s flight path

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Donald Trump has again demonstrated his masterful understanding of the history of other nations, by asking the Queen why she built her house under so many noisy planes.

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After watching British TV Donald Trump instructs US officials to open diplomatic relations with Love Island

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Despite saying Theresa May’s Brexit plans make a trade deal with the US difficult, after briefly catching ITV2 last night, President Donald Trump has said he wants to open diplomatic relations and make a trade deal with Love Island as soon as possible.

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US Presidents should stay out of Brexit debate only when they disagree with me, clarifies Nigel Farage

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President Trump can say what he likes about Brexit, because unlike Barack Obama, Trump has the correct opinion, according to Nigel Farage this morning.

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