Technology

Facebook dating app to match people based on their secret prejudices

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Facebook’s new dating app will match you with someone who secretly hates all the things you do.

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Corporate apology template to be included in all future versions of MS Word

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Microsoft has announced that future editions of its popular Word application will have a template for corporate apologies.

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Complete simpleton still doing facebook questionnaires

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Despite an overwhelming tsunami of reasons why he shouldn’t, local simpleton Simon Williams is still sharing Facebook quizzes with his friends.

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Social media is bad for you, insists Wetherspoons pub serving pints for breakfast

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Pub chain JD Wetherspoons has deleted it’s social media accounts insisting that some users cannot control the compulsion to use them, seemingly unaware that they sell and promote alcohol.

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Mark Zuckerberg to be fitted with empathy chip

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Mark Zuckerberg is to be upgraded to ‘the full range of human emotions’ as Facebook attempt to defuse their ongoing problems.Mark Zuckerberg is to be upgraded to ‘the full range of human emotions’ as Facebook attempt to defuse their ongoing problems.

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New posh dating app will help toffs choose which cousin to marry

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Toffs have welcomed a new dating app aimed exclusively at the privately educated – because they believe it will successfully help them choose which cousin they should marry.

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Man forgives Facebook after they make him a cute video showing all his stolen personal information

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A man is no longer bothered about Facebook giving his personal details to all and sundry because they were kind enough to make him a personalised video to commemorate the event.

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Scooby-Doo and the gang rip off Mark Zuckerberg’s mask to reveal Tom from MySpace

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Mark Zuckerberg was actually Tom from MySpace all along, according to Scooby Doo and his gang of inquisitive friends.

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New Facebook apology android makes convincing first public appearance

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A new Facebook apology android’s first public appearance, as a replacement for Mark Zuckerberg at a Senate hearing, has been judged a largely successful one.

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Everyone making a podcast except you, you f**king loser

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Widespread reports appear to confirm that literally everyone is making a podcast, with the exception of you, you f**king loser.

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