Technology

Facebook outage leaves millions frantically searching for what friends had for breakfast

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Millions of people across the world were left in complete ignorance of what friends and family had for breakfast this morning after Facebook suffered an outage.

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Couple call off engagement after disappointing response to Facebook announcement

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A local couple has postponed plans to get married after a Facebook post announcing their engagement only received 92 likes.

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Ken Loach to make Terminator reboot

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Ken Loach’s next film will be about a left-wing robot sent back in time to battle the benefits system.

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Microsoft to fuck with Windows again

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Just when you’ve got used to Windows 10, Microsoft has confirmed it is going to mess it all up again.

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Facebook to add ‘punch’ button for responding to posts by Nazis

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Facebook is to add a new reaction button to reflect the current political climate, they have confirmed this morning.

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Shit gets real as Donald Trump finds ALL CAPS key

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An all-caps tweet by the US President has put the world on the brink of a full-scale punctuation war.

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Wikipedia bans Daily Planet as ‘Fake News’

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Editors at the online encyclopedia have banned the Daily Planet as a reference, citing ‘sensationalist reporting of a flying blue man’.

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Start your own website, people demanding ‘balance’ told

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People on Internet comments threads who think joke writers aren’t pandering to them enough have been told to start their own fucking website today.

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Man who regularly calls people ‘snowflakes’ outraged by beer advert

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An American Twitter user who refers to an average of twenty people every day as ‘snowflakes’ has announced his plans to boycott Budweiser because they made an advert featuring the immigrants to who created it.

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Pyromaniacs eagerly await release of new Samsung fire hazard

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Pyromaniacs and budding arsonists are eagerly anticipating the release of the Samsung Galaxy Tab S3, which is expected to be unveiled at the Mobile World Congress on February 26.

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