Technology

Leaked documents prove your phone is regularly telling the CIA how much of a sad twat you are

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Leaked documents have shown that your smartphone is regularly telling the security services that you’re a sad idiot and no danger to anyone.

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Nothing breaches our community standards except breastfeeding and trans people, confirms Facebook

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Facebook has confirmed that their community standards reporting mechanism is ‘largely decorative’ in a statement today.

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Donald Trump’s phone was the only one I DIDN’T tap, confirms Obama

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After years of getting the NSA to listen to every conversation in America, Donald Trump’s phone was the only one not being tapped, Barack Obama has told reporters.

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Jay-Z down to 98 problems after fixing the wi-fi

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International megastar Jay-Z has sorted out the problems with his wi-fi and in doing so reduced the number of problems that plague him from 99 to 98.

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Facebook outage leaves millions frantically searching for what friends had for breakfast

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Millions of people across the world were left in complete ignorance of what friends and family had for breakfast this morning after Facebook suffered an outage.

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Couple call off engagement after disappointing response to Facebook announcement

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A local couple has postponed plans to get married after a Facebook post announcing their engagement only received 92 likes.

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Ken Loach to make Terminator reboot

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Ken Loach’s next film will be about a left-wing robot sent back in time to battle the benefits system.

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Microsoft to fuck with Windows again

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Just when you’ve got used to Windows 10, Microsoft has confirmed it is going to mess it all up again.

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Facebook to add ‘punch’ button for responding to posts by Nazis

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Facebook is to add a new reaction button to reflect the current political climate, they have confirmed this morning.

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Shit gets real as Donald Trump finds ALL CAPS key

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An all-caps tweet by the US President has put the world on the brink of a full-scale punctuation war.

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