Technology

New study reveals 90% of web users only read the headlines

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Nickelback fail to set off airport metal detector

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Airport security has failed to detect anything metal whatsoever about Nickelback today.

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Brexit Bus receives Golden Globe nomination for ‘Best Special Effect’

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The Brexit Bus has been made favourite for the special effects Golden Globe after those behind it convinced millions of people that what was written on it was genuinely real.

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Woman dumps boyfriend after two blue ticks on WhatsApp and no reply within 3 minutes

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24-year-old clerical assistant, Fiona Smith, has dumped her unreliable boyfriend for ‘probably’ cheating on her.

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Apple’s self-driving electric car to suddenly die when battery shows 30%

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After Apple revealed it is working on a self-driving electric car, fans of the brand said they are excited about the prospect of the car shutting down when it says there is 30% left on the battery.

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Buzz Aldrin evacuated from South Pole after battling Shoggoths beneath the ice

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86-year-old Buzz Aldrin has been evacuated from the South Pole after engaging in fisticuffs with Shoggoths in an ancient city beneath the ice, we can report.

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Open letter on blog continues to go unread

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A woman’s open letter to a stranger that upset her in the shops remains unread for the fifth consecutive day, it has emerged.

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‘Fake news is way better than real news’ insists Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg

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Facebook chief executive Mark Zuckerberg has defended his company from criticism about the proliferation of ‘fake’ news stories on the social network, insisting that real news “absolutely sucks”.

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Donald Trump could regain access to Twitter account on completion of successful trial with nuclear codes

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Donald Trump, who had his Twitter access revoked by his campaign managers, has successfully secured access to America’s nuclear codes.

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Facebook user wastes two hours sharing things to impress his insurance company

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Facebook user Simon Williams has admitted he only shares things on social media to impress other people, so trying to impress his insurance company seemed like a sensible thing to do.

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