Technology

Man who lied to impress wealthy client definitely NOT lying to impress Parliamentary Committee

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Cambridge Analytica’s Alexander Nix has told a committee of MPs the exact truth today, it has emerged.

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Apple fan excited at possibility of 32-person FaceTime calls despite only having six friends

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Apple fan Simon Williams has lauded Apple’s ingenuity in enabling 32-person FaceTime video calls, despite only knowing six people well enough to call them on the phone.

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Liverpool Goalkeeper Loris Karius named as new face of Teflon

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Liverpool goalkeeper Loris Karius Karius has landed a lucrative new advertising deal with a non-stick frying pan giant.

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Man successfully unsubscribes from a decade’s worth of shit emails by doing f*ck all

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A man has successfully unsubscribed from a colossal volume of shit emails by simply sitting on his arse and ignoring the begging emails as they came in.

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Nigerian Princes and horny Russian women to be hardest hit by new email opt-in laws

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The introduction of GDPR opt-in laws for email risk wealthy Nigerians and lovelorn Russian women being unable to contact potential benefactors, reports have warned.

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Maths teacher who said ‘you won’t always have a calculator on you’ in the 1980s feeling really stupid now

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A maths teacher who spent the 80s and 90s telling pupils they wouldn’t always have a calculator with them is feeling pretty stupid now.

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Man decides to keep box of cables he’s had since 2002 for another year

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A man has looked at the box of cables he’s had for more than fifteen years and decided to hang on to them.

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New law designed to stop you receiving unwanted email generating terabytes of unwanted email

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The new General Data Protection Regulation laws designed to stop everyone receiving unwanted email have resulted in the generation of billions of terabytes of unwanted email as every company ever is emailing you to tell you about it.

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People who hold their f*cking phone to their f*cking ear almost extinct

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Nearly every twat is holding their phones at arm’s length and shouting into it like they’re on The Apprentice or something, according to research this morning.

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Facebook showing you loads of Eurovision posts today

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Facebook is demonstrating just how on the ball its algorithm is by showing you loads of Eurovision posts today, they have confirmed.

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