Technology

NASA launches new project with aim of making a printer that actually works

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NASA have today announced a surprising shift of focus away from Mars and onto a project that will actually benefit humanity.

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Trump unveils sexy, velour Space Force uniforms

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The uniforms for America’s new Space Force will be designed for smooth comfort and easy access, White House sources have confirmed today.

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We definitely should have had Brexit-level preparedness for the millennium bug, confirms IT community

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Following Bernard Jenkins assertion that the Y2K bug was “hysteria”, software developers and IT professionals around the world have unanimously agreed that the years of meticulous planning and work that successfully averted most issues should have been replaced by a strategy of “just winging it”.

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Twitter criticised for putting big red cross next to usernames of users with low IQs

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Social network Twitter has been criticised this morning after it emerged that they have been putting big red crosses next to the usernames of users with below average IQs.

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‘F*ck it, that’ll do’ says dishwasher

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A dishwasher has cleaned about eighty per cent of the crockery it was given and believes that’s basically good enough.

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Man who wrote ‘happy to discuss’ on email really hoping he doesn’t have to discuss

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A man who signed off an email with the phrase ‘happy to discuss’ is reported to have been lying about that sentiment.

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Facebook share price tumbles after it decides to show fewer NewsThump stories to users

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The Facebook share price plunged 20% yesterday after it was revealed that the social networks new algorithm has meant fewer stories being shown to the followers of the NewsThump facebook page.

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Water on Mars already better than in most Spanish hotels

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The European Space Agency has announced that water on Mars is already of a better quality than you’d get from a tap in any Spanish hotel.

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Elon Musk’s hyperloop to revolutionise public transport for nonces

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Elon Musk’s revolutionary hyperloop transport system could enable nonces to travel great distances to find their prey, according to experts.

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Mark Zuckerberg hospitalised after dangerously prolonged laughing fit following ICO fine

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One of Silicon Valley’s most illustrious entrepreneurs suffered a collapsed lung and two fractured ribs after the announcement of the Information Commissioner’s Office fine of £500K led the billionaire to collapse on the floor in a fit of prolonged hysterical laughter.

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