Technology

Tinder to charge ugly users more for premium services

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People who receive far more left swipes than right ones will be charged more to use dating app Tinder, the app publishers have announced today.

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‘Ebony and Ivory’ to be re-released in wake of ‘The Dress’ controversy

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Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder are to re-record their 80s classic ‘Ebony and Ivory’ as arguments over the colour of a dress continue to tear the Internet apart.

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Facebook to acquire Catholic Church for $780billion

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Facebook has announced it is to spend $780bn (£467bn) acquiring the Catholic Church in a surprise move that will see the Papal office relocated to California.

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UKIP in election pledge to ban ‘ethnic’ emojis

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UKIP have promised that victory in the general election will see them outlaw the recently introduced ethnic emojis in Apple’s ecosystem.

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‘Monstrous’ couple face public backlash for refusing guests access to house Wi-Fi

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A middle-class couple from Surrey are facing a public backlash for refusing visitors to their home access to their wireless internet connection.

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25 years of technology improvement still failing to make morons ‘productive’

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Technology enhancements over the last 25 years have made massive strides in improving human productivity, except amongst the moron population.

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Cyber crime suddenly ‘very serious’ after banking institutions become victims

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With cyber criminals turning their attention away from members of the public to banking institutions, the situation has officially become ‘serious’ according to reports.

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Samsung TVs already as smart as reality television contestants, warn AI experts

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Samsung’s new range of smart TVs are expected to reach full sentience at some point this year, and become the dominant life form on the planet within 5 years.

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I’d take driverless car over lift from my girlfriend, insists man

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Car owner Simon Williams said he would rather get a lift to the pub from a vehicle which appears ‘bewitched’ than be driven again by his girlfriend in her Vauxhall Nova.

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Investigation uncovers children young as four being groomed for tech support

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An vast number of children and young people are being groomed by adults to provide technical support on increasingly complex personal technology, a new investigation has revealed.

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