Technology

Pippa’s stolen private photos a ‘disgusting invasion of privacy’, insist men busy googling for them

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Men everywhere have this morning described as ‘disgusting’ the invasion of privacy caused by stolen private photos of Pippa Middleton, before seeking clarification on exactly where they are online.

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Nobody using a Yahoo email address has first idea what ‘hacking’ is

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The news that details of 500 million Yahoo customers were stolen by hackers, has been met by blank stares from the sort of people who use a Yahoo email address.

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Chinese space station to fall to earth two days after the warranty expires

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China’s first space station has failed and will fall out of orbit after the warranty ran out last Tuesday, we can report.

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North Korean Internet impossible to satirise

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Jokes about the North Korean Internet being only eight pages of how great Kim Jong-Un is are actually all true, it turns out.

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Man refused mortgage to replace ink in his HP printer

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Factory worker Simon Williams has been refused a mortgage after applying to restock the ink in his HP printer.

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Credulous buffoons buy new telephones

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A brand new telephone has gone on sale today, leading to huge numbers of both idiots and morons queuing up to buy one.

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Calls for Duke Nukem to be stripped of title amid historic sex abuse allegations

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There have been calls for ’90s action hero Duke Nukem to be stripped of his title following allegations of sex abuse spanning more than two decades.

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Product advertised on Facebook turns out to be rather shit

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A product ordered via a Facebook advertisement has provided nothing but disappointment.

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Gamers sat on sofa enjoying sight of Pokémon Go players outside in the rain

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Gamers have insisted that although Pokémon Go looks like fun, it’s not as much fun as playing games on the sofa surrounded by your creature comforts.

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Brexiter regrets voting ‘Leave’ upon learning he’ll have to pay more for new iPhone

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With iPhone prices rising due to the weak pound following the vote to leave the EU, Brexiters across the country are finally starting to have doubts about voting to leave.

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