Technology

UKIP asks Google to ‘forget’ St. George was actually a Greek immigrant

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UKIP has made a submission to search giant Google via their ‘Right To Forget’ programme, in an effort to remove all online references to St George’s Greek nationality.

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Bill Gates still saying he’ll ‘Google’ stuff

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Microsoft supremo Bill Gates still says he’ll ‘Google’ for stuff, unless he’s really concentrating.

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Religious groups embrace Apple Watch as ultimate virginity preserver

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Christian groups and other religious organisations have thrown their backing behind the Apple Watch, praising its ability to preserve the virginity of those who wear them.

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David Cameron insists Manic Miner would have extra levels under a Conservative government

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After Ed Miliband claimed to have completed all 20 levels of Manic Miner, David Cameron insisted the Conservative party would grow the platform by 5% in its first year of government.

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First Gold Apple Watch owner set to become most heavily-mocked human in history

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Spending £6,000 on a Gold Apple Watch can secure your place in the history books as the most heavily mocked individual in all of human civilisation, according to sources this morning.

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Apple Watch owners to set clocks by when their watch runs out of battery

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The new Apple Watch will run out of battery so often you’ll be able to set your watch by it, according to Apple sources this morning.

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Incomes back to ‘pre-iPhone’ levels

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Average household incomes in the UK have returned to levels not seen since before iPhones were a thing.

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Tinder to charge ugly users more for premium services

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People who receive far more left swipes than right ones will be charged more to use dating app Tinder, the app publishers have announced today.

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‘Ebony and Ivory’ to be re-released in wake of ‘The Dress’ controversy

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Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder are to re-record their 80s classic ‘Ebony and Ivory’ as arguments over the colour of a dress continue to tear the Internet apart.

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Facebook to acquire Catholic Church for $780billion

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Facebook has announced it is to spend $780bn (£467bn) acquiring the Catholic Church in a surprise move that will see the Papal office relocated to California.

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