Technology

Boris Johnson proposes bridge from Britain to France so he can campaign to close it again

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A bridge between Britain and France would be a spiffing thing to build and then campaign to shut, Boris Johnson has proposed.

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C3PO running 30% slower after latest operating software update

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Star Wars droid C3PO has been discovered to be running much slower after his operating system was updated to the latest version.

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Bitcoin holding 50% off January sale

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The world’s largest cryptocurrency has joined the January sales by slashing prices by half.

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Most children want to be a reaction GIF when they grow up

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The majority of children aged 5 to 14 want to be a short animated clip when they’re older.

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Twitter to start issuing pitchforks and torches

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People opening a new Twitter account will receive either a burning brand or the medieval agricultural implement of their choice, the company has announced today.

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Apple confirms that products are ‘crap’

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Apple has said that all iPhones, iPads and Mac computers are likely to be affected by two recently identified major flaws.

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YouTuber Logan Paul finds metaphor for rest of his career

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A YouTube video logger has come under fire for filming a dead body representing his career going forward.

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New Year’s resolution to start blog fails immediately

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A man’s New Year resolution to start a blog had reportedly failed by 4pm on New Year’s day. Simon Williams of Chelmsford, Essex had suggested that he would be starting a blog containing his ‘off-the-wall, sideways look at life’. “Yeah, I’m always cracking people up,” Mr Williams was heard telling a girl at a Christmas […]

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Huge strain on Facebook as snow sweeps UK

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Facebook servers have been put under enormous strain as the people of the UK rush to post pictures of the small sprinkling of snow outside their window.

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Santa chooses the blue-nosed reindeer

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Father Christmas has chosen the blue-nosed reindeer, gone back to bed and believed whatever he wants to believe.

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