Technology

95% of all Facebook posts now complete drivel

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A new study has revealed that the vast majority of posts to Facebook are utterly shit.

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Computer experts baffled as switching it off and on again doesn’t solve IT problem

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Some of the top minds in computer science have been left baffled after an IT problem was not solved by restarting.

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Philae comet probe wakes up dying for a piss and with a mild erection

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The European Space Agency has reported that the Philae comet lander has woken up with an urgent needed to go to the bathroom and was in a mild state of sexual arousal.

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Illegally accessing personal information is bad unless we’re doing it, confirms US

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The US government has accused Chinese hackers of illegally accessing the personal information of thousands of American citizens in a move it described as ‘nothing like when we do it’.

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Facebook bravely defends the right to watch a baby being tortured

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Facebook has once again proven its benevolent nature by refusing to remove a viral video showing a terrified and distressed baby being repeatedly dunked into a bucket of water.

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Only steal music and films if you can’t afford to buy them, confirms study

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Online piracy is absolutely fine as long as the thing you are pirating is otherwise outside your budget, according to a new study.

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NSA hugely grateful to Microsoft for how-old.net

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The US National Security Agency has thanked Microsoft for creating a website where people will repeatedly upload mug shots of themselves for them to file away as they please.

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Adult industry celebrates as someone finally uses ‘Share on Facebook’ button

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The adult entertainment industry is on the verge of a social revolution, after one site reported a user clicking the ‘Share on Facebook’ button after watching a video.

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UKIP asks Google to ‘forget’ St. George was actually a Greek immigrant

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UKIP has made a submission to search giant Google via their ‘Right To Forget’ programme, in an effort to remove all online references to St George’s Greek nationality.

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Bill Gates still saying he’ll ‘Google’ stuff

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Microsoft supremo Bill Gates still says he’ll ‘Google’ for stuff, unless he’s really concentrating.

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