Technology

‘More work to be done’ on driverless car technology after test drive fails to kill Jeremy Clarkson

Thumbnail image for ‘More work to be done’ on driverless car technology after test drive fails to kill Jeremy Clarkson

Manufacturers of driverless cars have admitted that there are still some flaws in the safety technology after one of their test models failed to take out Jeremy Clarkson.

Read the full article →

Alderaan truther insists planetary destruction was work of the Rebel Alliance

Thumbnail image for Alderaan truther insists planetary destruction was work of the Rebel Alliance

Alderaan was destroyed by the Rebel Alliance to turn people against the Empire, truther Sy-Mon Snootles has claimed in a controversial new book.

Read the full article →

Twitter ‘braver than Oskar Schindler’ after removing verified ticks from fascists

Thumbnail image for Twitter ‘braver than Oskar Schindler’ after removing verified ticks from fascists

Persecuted minorities the world over are breathing a huge sigh of relief after Twitter removed its approved status from several notable fascist knobheads.

Read the full article →

Twitter to replace blue tick with ‘punch’ icon on Nazi accounts

Thumbnail image for Twitter to replace blue tick with ‘punch’ icon on Nazi accounts

Accounts which break their terms of service will have their blue tick replaced with a ‘punch’ icon, Twitter has confirmed today.

Read the full article →

Christopher Plummer to be digitally inserted into government archives as replacement for Michael Fallon

Thumbnail image for Christopher Plummer to be digitally inserted into government archives as replacement for Michael Fallon

As the revelations of Sir Michael Fallon’s sexual misconduct grows, news has emerged that Christopher Plummer will be digitally inserted into the last seven years of government as Secretary of State for Defence and Deputy chairman of the Conservative Party as his replacement.

Read the full article →

Kevin Spacey to be replaced by different actors in all his previous films

Thumbnail image for Kevin Spacey to be replaced by different actors in all his previous films

After repeated allegations of sexual abuses against younger actors saw Kevin Spacey’s scenes in the forthcoming film All the Money in the World hastily re-shot, his roles in older films will also be recast.

Read the full article →

People unhappy at Twitter’s increased 280 character count urged to avoid the horrors of a ‘library’

Thumbnail image for People unhappy at Twitter’s increased 280 character count urged to avoid the horrors of a ‘library’

People who complain about having to read longer Tweets have been warned to avoid the horrors that await them at the local library.

Read the full article →

280 characters will make Twitter the home of calm, courteous debate, insists company despite available evidence

Thumbnail image for 280 characters will make Twitter the home of calm, courteous debate, insists company despite available evidence

Giving everyone 280 characters will make debates well constructed, articulate and courteous, Twitter believes.

Read the full article →

iPhone X performing badly in hammer stress tests, complain morons

Thumbnail image for iPhone X performing badly in hammer stress tests, complain morons

The iPhone X is so poorly made it is unable to withstand a sustained hammer attack without the glass breaking, numerous twats have concluded this morning.

Read the full article →

Man who criticised new iPhone arrested for sheep worrying

Thumbnail image for Man who criticised new iPhone arrested for sheep worrying

A man who shouted ‘The iPhone is rubbish!’ in an Apple store is facing charges of sheep worrying today.

Read the full article →