Sports

Sports news from NewsThump.com – bringing you the latest from the world of sport, updated every second.

Rooney’s inspiring speech mistaken for drone of strimmer

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Wayne Rooney’s stirring first speech as England captain went largely unnoticed by teammates who presumed the noise to be a mechanical drone.

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Key to survival is taking points off our relegation rivals, insists Van Gaal

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Following his side’s nil-nil draw with Burnley, Manchester United manager Louis Van Gaal has urged his squad to continue taking points off their relegation rivals to ensure their Premier League survival.

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David moyes hospitalised following prolonged laughing fit

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Former Manchester United Scotsman, David Moyes, is reportedly under intensive care in a Glasgow hospital after a prolonged fit of laughing left his life in serious danger.

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Liverpool to replace mentally unstable forward with mentally unstable forward

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Liverpool football club are to replace mentally unstable Luis Suarez with equally deranged Mario Balotelli, according to reports this morning.

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Are we setting unrealistic standards of beauty for our scrotums, asks Sir Ian Botham

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Former England cricketer and television commentator Sir Ian Botham has taken to social network Twitter in order to prove that there is no such thing as an ‘ugly scrotum’.

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‘Win our remaining games and the title is ours’ insists Liverpool’s Gerrard

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With just 38 games to go until the end of the Premier League season, the maths is simple: Liverpool are in control of their Premier League destiny.

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David Moyes sectioned after Manchester plane bomb attempt

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Embittered former Man United boss, David Moyes, has been sectioned after trying to fly a bomb-laden plane into Old Trafford.

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Bernie Ecclestone offers prosecutors $100m bribe to avoid bribery charges

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Formula One chief Bernie Ecclestone has offered German prosecutors $100m in order to make his bribery charges go away.

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‘A bit shit’ is Jamaican patois for ‘awesome’, clarifies Usain Bolt

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Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt has moved swiftly to clarify that comments describing the Commonwealth games as ‘a bit shit’ were actually a term of endearment.

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Liverpool to make bid for Southampton supporters

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Liverpool FC is to continue its gradual acquisition of Southampton football club by making a bid for the fans of the south coast team.

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