Sports

Sports news from NewsThump.com – bringing you the latest from the world of sport, updated every second.

Fans wondering if Sky Sports TV package includes Charlton pitch sex video

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Sky Sports subscribers have asked if the video of a couple having sex on the Charlton pitch will be included in their package.

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FIFA reject 2022 World Cup rescheduling compensation claim from Santa

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International football governing body FIFA says it will not pay compensation to Santa Claus and his associated enterprises, who are unhappy about plans to play the 2022 Qatar World Cup at Christmas.

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Alastair Cook hospitalised after dangerously prolonged laughing fit

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Former England One Day International captain Alastair Cook is reportedly in intensive care after suffering what doctors have described as a laughing fit so severe, it became life threatening.

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John Terry encouraged by ‘huge potential’ of Chelsea’s Paris metro racists

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Chelsea FC captain John Terry has stated his encouragement by the performance and future ‘huge potential’ of the club’s racist fans following their display on the Paris metro this week.

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Record-breaking Premier League TV deal to help fund grassroots arseholes

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Budding arseholes who think they could be professional footballers will be helped enormously by the new Sky TV deal, Premier League officials have announced.

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Clarke Carlisle accuses Ralf Little of getting away with ‘Two Pints of Lager’

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Former footballer Clarke Carlisle has courted controversy by accusing Ralf Little of getting away with sitcom ‘Two Pints of Lager’, apparently without criticism yet again.

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Harry Redknapp signs three replacement knees on £60k a week contracts

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Harry Redknapp was today celebrating the signing of three new knees in what he has called a ‘terrific bit of business’.

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Rampant consumerism celebrates 49th consecutive Super Bowl victory

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Marketing professionals are celebrating yet another a magnificent victory in yesterday’s Super Bowl XLIX, after securing unprecedented levels of coverage for their range of tawdry products.

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Kim Sears’ Profanisaurus to be out for Christmas

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Andy Murray’s fiance Kim Sears has signed a lucrative publishing deal to produce a range of books teaching poor people how to swear properly.

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Robert Mugabe to run for FIFA presidency

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In a shock last minute development, Robert Mugabe has announced that he intends to run for the FIFA presidency.

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