Sports

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Doctor Who fans watch sport for the first time ever

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Legions of Doctor Who fans caught several minutes of televised sport, many for the first time, this evening.

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Kyle Walker gives up promising football career to become professional bench-warmer at Man City

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Promising England defender Kyle Walker has elected to abandon his career for several years to play occasionally for Manchester City’s reserve team.

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Tennis player with damaged hip ‘put down’ to end his suffering

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Tennis player Andy Murray has been put down after experts said his damaged hip would leave him with no meaningful standard of life.

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Theresa May refuses to guarantee Andy Murray’s British nationality if he doesn’t win Wimbledon

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Theresa May has defended her refusal to guarantee Andy Murray’s British nationality in the event that he doesn’t win Wimbledon, saying that to do so would be perceived as weakness by the EU.

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Romelu Lukaku’s agent hospitalised after wanking himself into a coma

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Romelu Lukaku’s agent Mino Raiola has been admitted to hospital after masturbating himself into a coma following the striker’s £75m move to Man Utd.

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Manchester Utd buy Romelu Lukaku for the price of five Romelu Lukakus

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Manchester United have completed the signing of Romelu Lukaku from Premier League rivals Everton for a fee equivalent to five Romelu Lukakus.

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Wayne Rooney to recreate successful partnership with his original hair on return to Everton

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Wayne Rooney is hoping to reunite an old 1-2 with his original hair on his return to Everton, according to reports.

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Football fan claims he streams matches illegally purely to annoy Rupert Murdoch

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Football fan Simon Williams said that finding illegal free streams to watch live football is more about annoying Rupert Murdoch, than supporting his team.

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Aston Villa WAGs on lockdown

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Former Chelsea defender John Terry has joined Aston Villa, leading to the wives and girlfriends of the current Villa squad being put under house arrest.

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World queuing championship ruined by Tennis

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Once again, the World queuing championship at Wimbledon has been invaded by a number of non-queuers playing tennis in the Queuing Championship grounds.

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