Sports

Sports news from NewsThump.com – bringing you the latest from the world of sport, updated every second.

Chris Froome wins Tour de France without indicating once

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Chris Froome has romped to a third Tour de France triumph without once bothering to fucking indicate, according to reports.

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Terrifying nuclear nation allowed to take part in jumped-up sports day

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Some reasonable people have worked out that the Olympics aren’t really important enough to get Russia feeling all fighty.

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Eddie ‘The Eagle’ Edwards denied gold by Russian dope cheats

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Ski jump ace Eddie ‘The Eagle’ Edwards may have narrowly missed out on a gold medal because of Russian dope cheats.

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Vladimir Putin invites Olympic Committee for a nice cup of glowing tea

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Vladimir Putin has invited the Olympic committee to his place to clear up this silly doping thing.

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Bookies slash odds on England being relegated

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Bookmakers have slashed the odds on England being relegated after the appointment of the perennial survivor, Sam Allardyce as manager.

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Spain, Germany and Brazil shit themselves

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Following news that Sam Allardyce is to be appointed England manager, it has been reported that the Spain, Germany, and Brazil national football teams have collectively soiled themselves in abject terror.

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Woman who picked Portugal in office sweepstake acting like she’s a football savant

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The woman in your office who picked Portugal out of a hat a month ago is today acting like she’s some sort of footballing soothsayer with a gift for predicting sporting results.

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Success at Wimbledon a direct result of Brexit, claim supporters

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The unprecedented success of three British players at Wimbledon this year wouldn’t have happened without Brexit, claim supporters.

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Andy Murray British again after winning Wimbledon

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Plucky Briton Andy Murray is British again after winning Wimbledon, British news sites are delighted to report today.

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Guardiola excited by challenge of building team on shoe-string budget

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New Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola has been unveiled to the press, explaining that he’s excited by the prospect of proving his credentials by building a side without any money.

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