Sports

Sports news from NewsThump.com – bringing you the latest from the world of sport, updated every second.

Robert Mugabe seeks advice from Arsene Wenger on how to cling to power

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Robert Mugabe has sought the wise counsel of Arsene Wenger.

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Wife suggests Arsenal supporting husband give Spurs a try

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The wife of a long-suffering Arsenal supporter has offered an innovative solution to her husband’s weekly footballing woes – try supporting Tottenham Hotspur.

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Daily Mail bursts blood vessel in eye as Queen gives knighthood to black Muslim immigrant

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The Daily Mail has burst a blood vessel in its eye after seeing the Queen give a knighthood to Muslim immigrant, Mo Farah.

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David Moyes aces West Ham interview with inspiring tale of taking small Manchester club to 7th in Premier League

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David Moyes has been unveiled as West Ham manager after regaling the Hammers board with his amazing feat of management while looking after plucky underdogs, Manchester United.

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Spurs fans on verge of becoming insufferable

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Tottenham Hotspurs fans basking in the glow of last night’s Champions League victory against Real Madrid are said to be on the verge of attaining levels of smugness not seen since the release of Ossies’ Dream in 1981.

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Everton reward violent fan by banning him from watching Everton

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A violent Everton fan’s life ban from Goodison Park is a blessing in disguise, it has emerged.

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Newcastle Utd will be first Sports Direct sale that doesn’t come with a giant mug

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Whoever buys Newcastle United won’t be getting a large mug of any kind.

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Newcastle United on offer for £3.99 in Sports Direct

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Mike Ashley is to sell Newcastle United alongside some cheap Firetrap t-shirts.

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Precious little snowflake leaves football game after some bigger boys upset him

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Vice President Mike Pence has flounced out of an American Football game after some players dared to exercise their first amendment rights.

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Outbreak of sleeping sickness traced to watching England football team

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A brief epidemic of narcolepsy which struck Britain last night has been traced to watching the performance of the England football team.

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