Sports

Sports news from NewsThump.com – bringing you the latest from the world of sport, updated every second.

Liverpool to replace mentally unstable forward with mentally unstable forward

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Liverpool football club are to replace mentally unstable Luis Suarez with equally deranged Mario Balotelli, according to reports this morning.

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Are we setting unrealistic standards of beauty for our scrotums, asks Sir Ian Botham

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Former England cricketer and television commentator Sir Ian Botham has taken to social network Twitter in order to prove that there is no such thing as an ‘ugly scrotum’.

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‘Win our remaining games and the title is ours’ insists Liverpool’s Gerrard

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With just 38 games to go until the end of the Premier League season, the maths is simple: Liverpool are in control of their Premier League destiny.

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David Moyes sectioned after Manchester plane bomb attempt

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Embittered former Man United boss, David Moyes, has been sectioned after trying to fly a bomb-laden plane into Old Trafford.

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Bernie Ecclestone offers prosecutors $100m bribe to avoid bribery charges

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Formula One chief Bernie Ecclestone has offered German prosecutors $100m in order to make his bribery charges go away.

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‘A bit shit’ is Jamaican patois for ‘awesome’, clarifies Usain Bolt

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Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt has moved swiftly to clarify that comments describing the Commonwealth games as ‘a bit shit’ were actually a term of endearment.

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Liverpool to make bid for Southampton supporters

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Liverpool FC is to continue its gradual acquisition of Southampton football club by making a bid for the fans of the south coast team.

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Luis Suarez’s Barcelona contract to include three chewable Catalans a week

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Luis Suarez is expected to join Barcelona in a record deal, after the Spanish giants offered the striker three Catalan residents a week that he can bite freely.

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Team Sky to consider stabilisers

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Team Sky are to consider the use of stabilisers for future Tour de France entries after Chris Froome fell off his bike three times in two days.

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‘Worst day of my life’, says Brazilian millionaire who plays games for living

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A Brazilian millionaire who kicks a ball around for his job, described losing a sports match as the worst day of his life yesterday.

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