Sports

Sports news from NewsThump.com – bringing you the latest from the world of sport, updated every second.

Jose Mourinho attempts to shift focus to HIS penis

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Manchester United’s manager would like fans to focus on his allegedly large wang.

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Manchester United fans bid for Ivor Novello award with song about Romelu Lukaku’s genitals

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Manchester United fans are hoping to be recognised for outstanding songwriting and musical composition after crafting a heartfelt ballad about their new centre-forward’s penis.

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Driving ban sees Wayne Rooney open up eight-point gap over Everton

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Wayne Rooney has opened up an eight-point gap over the team he plays for, it has emerged.

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Wayne Rooney finally beats Sir Bobby Charlton’s drink-driving record

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Wayne Rooney has finally surpassed Sir Bobby Charlton’s record for drink-driving.

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Newly-vegan Lewis Hamilton demands Mercedes F1 team develop car that runs on broccoli

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Formula One driver Lewis Hamilton has told his Mercedes team he will only continue to drive for them if they develop an engine that runs on vegetables, after turning vegan in order to save the planet.

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English football fans outraged after German football fans behave exactly like English football fans

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English football fans have been outraged by outbreaks of Englishness among fans of a German football team, this morning.

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Roy Hodgson sacked by Crystal Palace just hours before being given manager’s job

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Crystal Palace have already sacked Roy Hodgson, just hours before giving him the manager’s job.

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Gareth Southgate’s nose gets bigger as he explains Dele Alli finger gesture

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England took another step closer towards World Cup qualification despite another mind-numbing display against Slovakia.

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Nation shocked as Wayne Rooney’s ‘other woman’ revealed to be younger than him

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Wayne Rooney’s latest extra-marital squeeze is younger than him, it has emerged.

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Crossbow bolt fired into Oval puts cricket match in serious danger of being interesting

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A crossbow bolt fired at the pitch during a county cricket match created panic as many spectators broke with protocol and started to pay attention to the event.

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