Sports

Sports news from NewsThump.com – bringing you the latest from the world of sport, updated every second.

China ghosts Britain

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British diplomats have nervously asked the Chinese government to confirm that we’re cool today, following several days of complete silence from the Chinese embassy.

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Spending money to make things better only works with sport, insists Government

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Spending more money in an attempt to make things perform better only works with sports, according to a government spokesperson today.

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Real man impresses gym with massive deadlift

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A real man has done a single massive deadlift and then dropped the bar as loudly as possible so everyone in the gym knows it.

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Ryan Lochte claims lucrative endorsements all ‘stolen at gunpoint’

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American swimmer Ryan Lochte has made a statement to US police after all his lucrative endorsements were ‘stolen’ from him at some point in the last few days.

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Tokyo begins preparation for 2020 Olympics by engineering psychic tentacled horrors

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Construction has already begun on a secret military facility beneath the Tokyo 2020 stadium as Japan prepares to host the next Olympics, we can report.

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Daily Mail has most successful ‘Not putting black athletes on the front page’ Olympic Games ever

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Daily Mail has most successful ‘Not putting black athletes on the front page’ Olympic Games ever.

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Olympian ostracised for refusing to bite medal for photographers

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The photography industry has ostracised Olympian Simon Williams for refusing to bite his Bronze medal.

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England footballers to be shown footage of Olympic athletes apologising for losing

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The England football team is to be forced to watch footage of Olympians being gracious in victory and humble in defeat until they get it, the FA has announced.

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St Trinians causes international incident after winning Olympic hockey

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The St Trinians school hockey team winning Olympic gold has caused a wave of complaints from other competing nations.

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Modern Pentathlon Olympic gold won by mysterious masked horseman

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The Modern Pentathlon event – riding, swimming, running, shooting and fencing – has been won by a mysterious man in a mask who appeared in the Rio games without warning.

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