Sports

Sports news from NewsThump.com – bringing you the latest from the world of sport, updated every second.

Hodgson magic continues as England demolish plumbers and electricians

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England’s relentless march towards the Euro 2016 championships has gathered almost unstoppable momentum after a Wembley victory against some sheep farmers, electricians and a guy who mows lawns.

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Struggling Van Gaal still feeling the weight of expectations left by Moyes

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Manchester United fans have claimed the appointment of new manager Louis Van Gaal as the worst in the clubs history, as he fails to live up to the high expectations set by his predecessor David Moyes.

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Rooney’s inspiring speech mistaken for drone of strimmer

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Wayne Rooney’s stirring first speech as England captain went largely unnoticed by teammates who presumed the noise to be a mechanical drone.

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Key to survival is taking points off our relegation rivals, insists Van Gaal

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Following his side’s nil-nil draw with Burnley, Manchester United manager Louis Van Gaal has urged his squad to continue taking points off their relegation rivals to ensure their Premier League survival.

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David Moyes hospitalised following prolonged laughing fit

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Former Manchester United Scotsman, David Moyes, is reportedly under intensive care in a Glasgow hospital after a prolonged fit of laughing left his life in serious danger.

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Liverpool to replace mentally unstable forward with mentally unstable forward

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Liverpool football club are to replace mentally unstable Luis Suarez with equally deranged Mario Balotelli, according to reports this morning.

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Are we setting unrealistic standards of beauty for our scrotums, asks Sir Ian Botham

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Former England cricketer and television commentator Sir Ian Botham has taken to social network Twitter in order to prove that there is no such thing as an ‘ugly scrotum’.

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‘Win our remaining games and the title is ours’ insists Liverpool’s Gerrard

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With just 38 games to go until the end of the Premier League season, the maths is simple: Liverpool are in control of their Premier League destiny.

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David Moyes sectioned after Manchester plane bomb attempt

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Embittered former Man United boss, David Moyes, has been sectioned after trying to fly a bomb-laden plane into Old Trafford.

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Bernie Ecclestone offers prosecutors $100m bribe to avoid bribery charges

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Formula One chief Bernie Ecclestone has offered German prosecutors $100m in order to make his bribery charges go away.

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