Science

Elon Musk to be launched into space to retrieve sunglasses left in Tesla

Thumbnail image for Elon Musk to be launched into space to retrieve sunglasses left in Tesla

American entrepreneur and future Bond villain Elon Musk will later today be shot into space to collect the Ray-Bans he left in his red Tesla roadster.

Read the full article →

Cheddar Man probably ‘UK’s first benefit tourist’ insists Nigel Farage

Thumbnail image for Cheddar Man probably ‘UK’s first benefit tourist’ insists Nigel Farage

Nigel Farage believes ‘Cheddar Man’ was probably a benefits tourist putting extra strain on the Mesolithic welfare system.

Read the full article →

Putting a car into outer space cheaper than parking it in London, SpaceX confirms

Thumbnail image for Putting a car into outer space cheaper than parking it in London, SpaceX confirms

Putting a car into orbit around Mars is both cheaper and easier than parking it in London, Elon Musk has confirmed today.

Read the full article →

Angry cyclist spotted furiously chasing down car 300,000 miles from Earth

Thumbnail image for Angry cyclist spotted furiously chasing down car 300,000 miles from Earth

A cyclist has been spotted furiously banging on the window of a vehicle and swearing at the driver 300,000 miles from earth.

Read the full article →

Britain First supporter taught to mimic human speech

Thumbnail image for Britain First supporter taught to mimic human speech

Scientists have hailed a breakthrough after a Britain First supporter was taught to mimic human speech.

Read the full article →

New study shows adolescence lasts from age of 10 until end of your Presidency

Thumbnail image for New study shows adolescence lasts from age of 10 until end of your Presidency

A new study has recommended changing the ages that define adolescence to be from the age of 10 to at least the end of the first term of your Presidency, unless you never plan to be President, in which case it is 24.

Read the full article →

Horsehead Nebula actually a terrible threat by the space mafia

Thumbnail image for Horsehead Nebula actually a terrible threat by the space mafia

The Horsehead Nebula was just left ‘lying around’ by the space mafia to let astronomers know to watch their step, according to reports.

Read the full article →

New Year Honours list ‘an absolute joke’, claims lazy bastard who has never helped anyone else

Thumbnail image for New Year Honours list ‘an absolute joke’, claims lazy bastard who has never helped anyone else

A lazy, selfish bastard who has never lifted a finger to help anyone else has labelled the New Year Honours list a ‘complete joke’.

Read the full article →

Santa chooses the blue-nosed reindeer

Thumbnail image for Santa chooses the blue-nosed reindeer

Father Christmas has chosen the blue-nosed reindeer, gone back to bed and believed whatever he wants to believe.

Read the full article →

I KNEW it, says every man still alive

Thumbnail image for I KNEW it, says every man still alive

Man-flu is real, and we finally have the proof, claimed men everywhere this morning.

Read the full article →