Science

Should older voters be made to take a test before retaining control of the country?

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Following a series of disastrous elections, the outcomes for which elderly voters have been largely responsible, many people are asking if older people should be made to take a test to prove they are still competent of exercising control of the country.

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Everyone who watched Doctor Who now gay

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Some five million people who watched the new episode of Doctor Who on Saturday are now gay following the show’s controversial decision to make the new assistant – Bill – a gay woman.

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Star Trek style United Federation of Planets ‘unlikely’ to allow Earth to join

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A report recently commissioned to evaluate the possibility of Earth joining a Star Trek style United Federation of Planets has concluded that if such a federation were to exist, it would be unlikely to allow Earth to join.

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Life on Saturn moon is a threat to UK’s ‘Judeo-Christian culture’, warns Nigel Farage

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Radio host Nigel Farage has warned that any life on Saturn’s ice-crusted moon Enceladus will pose a threat to the UK’s ‘Judeo-Christian culture’. Mr Farage, who quit failing to become an MP in order to focus on failing to get a knighthood, insisted that lifeforms on the 500km-wide world are already planning to head to […]

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Uranus has asteroids, say giggling astronomers

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NASA and the European Space Agency have released pictures which show that – pfffft- Uranus has – lol – asteroids at a press conference today.

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City built on rock and roll ‘dangerously unstable’

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A city that was built on rock and roll in the eighties has been declared ‘dangerously unstable’ by safety experts.

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Human race finally united as everyone agrees that dinosaurs are fantastic

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The only thing which unites humanity is thinking dinosaurs are great, according to experts today.

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Planet Earth votes to leave its orbit around the Sun

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The people of planet Earth have today voted to leave their current trajectory around the Sun and take back control of their seasons.

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Man feeling a bit chilly declares it to be proof that global warming is hoax

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The scientific community has been rocked by the news that a man has proof that global warming is a hoax in the form of him feeling a little bit cold.

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Herbal tea not a proper drink, say experts

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Normal people don’t pour hot water over your nan’s bowl of potpourri and then drink it, experts have confirmed.

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