Science

Privatisation of ISS nothing to do with creating future evil space lair, insists Trump

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After announcing that funding should be withdrawn from the International Space Station and for it to become a future commercial platform, Trump has insisted that there is no need for global concern at all.

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Flat-earth space agency to launch satellites by throwing them off the edge

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The Flat Earth Society is to beat Elon Musk at his own game by throwing satellites off the edge of the world to get them into orbit.

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Hibernating bear definitely having a better time of it than you

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A bear who has spent the last three months asleep in a cave with some honey and a back scratcher has had a nicer time than you, it has confirmed.

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Homosexual calls for conversion therapy to ‘cure’ Christianity

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One of the country’s leading homosexuals has called for the use of the controversial conversion therapy to try and ‘cure’ Christianity.

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Elon Musk to be launched into space to retrieve sunglasses left in Tesla

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American entrepreneur and future Bond villain Elon Musk will later today be shot into space to collect the Ray-Bans he left in his red Tesla roadster.

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Cheddar Man probably ‘UK’s first benefit tourist’ insists Nigel Farage

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Nigel Farage believes ‘Cheddar Man’ was probably a benefits tourist putting extra strain on the Mesolithic welfare system.

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Putting a car into outer space cheaper than parking it in London, SpaceX confirms

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Putting a car into orbit around Mars is both cheaper and easier than parking it in London, Elon Musk has confirmed today.

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Angry cyclist spotted furiously chasing down car 300,000 miles from Earth

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A cyclist has been spotted furiously banging on the window of a vehicle and swearing at the driver 300,000 miles from earth.

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Britain First supporter taught to mimic human speech

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Scientists have hailed a breakthrough after a Britain First supporter was taught to mimic human speech.

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New study shows adolescence lasts from age of 10 until end of your Presidency

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A new study has recommended changing the ages that define adolescence to be from the age of 10 to at least the end of the first term of your Presidency, unless you never plan to be President, in which case it is 24.

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