Science

Scientist apologises for describing Darwin fossil find as ‘miracle’

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A spokesman for the University of London has apologised after a respected palaeontologist described the discovery of Darwin’s fossil collection as ‘a miracle’.

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Earth-sized planet discovered 0.0 light-years away

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NASA has hailed the discovery of an ‘earth-sized’ planet orbiting a star 0.0 light-years away, and have suggested there is a ’73% or greater’ chance it could support intelligent life.

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Everyone waiting impatiently for news about particle they don’t understand

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As scientists prepare to announce their findings on the Higgs Boson particle, people across the country are surprisingly interested to hear what they have to say.

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Ryanair to offer first budget flights to Kepler 22-b

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Budget airline Ryanair has stolen a march on the competition by offering discount flights to newly discovered Earth-like planet Kepler 22-b, flying into Kepler 22-b Luton airport.

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Anti-car lobby group launches first speed bump destined for Mars

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As anti-car protesters brace themselves for yet another vehicle on the surface of Mars, some lobbyists are demanding NASA sets a more responsible example to micro-organisms on the red planet.

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Scientists ranking potentially liveable planets place Earth in 73rd position

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Scientists ranking planets in our universe based on the chances they could support intelligent life and provide a hospitable living environment, have placed Earth below one of Saturn’s moons in 73rd position.

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Conspiracy theorists claim Mars mission simulation is a hoax

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Conspiracy theorists have today insisted that the Mars500 simulation at a Moscow Institute never took place, and that the participants never even went near a Mars mission simulation.

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‘I bet you were an August baby’ to become most popular insult

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After a study showed that summer-born children were at an academic and professional disadvantage throughout their lives, people everywhere were introduced to a whole new world of potential insults.

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Monkeys recreate complete works of Jeffrey Archer

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An experiment has revealed that seven monkeys typing for six hours have produced the complete works of Jeffrey Archer.

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Laughter does little for erectile dysfunction, insist sufferers

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After medical researchers presented new evidence suggesting that laughter is indeed the best medicine, sufferers of erectile dysfunction insisted that if anything, it made the situation worse.

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