Science

Lord Lawson invited onto BBC to argue that the Earth is ‘flat’

Thumbnail image for Lord Lawson invited onto BBC to argue that the Earth is ‘flat’

Former government minister Lord Lawson has been invited onto the BBC as a science expert to present the argument that the earth is flat.

Read the full article →

Palaeontologist bastards still trying to ruin as much of Jurassic Park as possible

Thumbnail image for Palaeontologist bastards still trying to ruin as much of Jurassic Park as possible

Jurassic Park, a film 65 million years in the making, is still getting torn into by bitter scientists nearly 25 years after its release.

Read the full article →

Various shitholes apply to become City of Culture 2021

Thumbnail image for Various shitholes apply to become City of Culture 2021

Five rubbish dwellings have applied for Britain’s ultimate pity-trophy.

Read the full article →

Warning that Donald Trump may become fully sentient by 2018

Thumbnail image for Warning that Donald Trump may become fully sentient by 2018

There is concern within the scientific world that Donald Trump may achieve full sentience at some point in the next year.

Read the full article →

New telescope helps The Waterboys finally see whole of the moon

Thumbnail image for New telescope helps The Waterboys finally see whole of the moon

After some thirty years of only seeing a bit of the moon, wacky Scottish folk band The Waterboys have invested in a big telescope to allow them to finally see the whole of the moon.

Read the full article →

Mealy-mouthed white van drivers still not apologising for Finsbury Park attack

Thumbnail image for Mealy-mouthed white van drivers still not apologising for Finsbury Park attack

Drivers of white vans are still refusing to apologise for one of them mowing down some people the other day.

Read the full article →

New species of half bike/half prick emerges

Thumbnail image for New species of half bike/half prick emerges

Scientists have hailed the next stage in evolution as a new species of half bike/half prick emerges from the roads of the home-counties.

Read the full article →

Trump pulls out of Round Earth accord

Thumbnail image for Trump pulls out of Round Earth accord

Donald Trump has today withdrawn the United States from an international accord agreeing that the world isn’t flat.

Read the full article →

Medical researchers confirm strong link between vaccines and not dying

Thumbnail image for Medical researchers confirm strong link between vaccines and not dying

There is a ‘causal link’ between the introduction of vaccines and not keeling over dead from entirely preventable causes before your fifth birthday, doctors have confirmed today.

Read the full article →

God urged to spend less time helping people win sports events

Thumbnail image for God urged to spend less time helping people win sports events

God has been asked if he could spend less time helping people score winning touchdowns and concentrate on the important stuff.

Read the full article →