Politics

Privatisation of ISS nothing to do with creating future evil space lair, insists Trump

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After announcing that funding should be withdrawn from the International Space Station and for it to become a future commercial platform, Trump has insisted that there is no need for global concern at all.

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Oxfam lacks moral leadership, insists government that’s spent eight years f*cking the poor

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Oxfam is lacking in moral leadership, according to a government that’s f*cked thousands of people into an early grave. Theresa May’s ministers warned that the behaviour of a minority of Oxfam employees gave them the best excuse yet to withhold more cash from those who need it most. Meanwhile, International Development Secretary, Penny Mordaunt, insisted […]

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He’s doing a great job, says Trump in defence of controversial staff member Ramsey Bolton

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Donald Trump’s embattled White House has found itself at the centre of another polemic as its social media strategist, Ramsey Bolton, was accused of domestic abuse and cutting off a captive man’s todger.

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Serial draft dodger demands huge military parade in his honour

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A man who gained five military deferments has demanded that people who actually joined the military march in his honour.

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British racists excited to see Nigel Farage branching out into new field of antisemitism

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Former UKIP leader Nigel Farage has dipped his toe into the intimidating world of Jew-hating now that George Soros has been rumoured to take action over Brexit.

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Jeremy Corbyn considering doing something

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Rumours emerging from the Labour party seem to indicate that Jeremy Corbyn is giving serious consideration to actually doing something.

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Brexiters refusing to believe their region will be worse off until they see it written on a bus

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Brexiter Simon Williams has insisted the regional breakdown of Brexit’s impact is pure scaremongering and will continue to believe that is the case until he sees it written on a bus.

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Cheddar Man probably ‘UK’s first benefit tourist’ insists Nigel Farage

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Nigel Farage believes ‘Cheddar Man’ was probably a benefits tourist putting extra strain on the Mesolithic welfare system.

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Mike Pence in perfect health after having his prostate checked for the 53rd week in a row

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WASHINGTON DC, UNITED STATES – It was announced today that thanks to frequent checks, Vice President Mike Pence’s prostate remains in sturdy health and his rectal cavity is showing no signs of abnormalities.

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Cabinet bitterly divided on whether it is a ‘good morning’

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Theresa May was once again forced to step in as the ongoing Tory civil war erupted after Phil Hammond wished Downing Street staff a good morning.

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