Politics

Use benefit claimants as bonfire ‘Guys’ urges Theresa May

Thumbnail image for Use benefit claimants as bonfire ‘Guys’ urges Theresa May

The prime minister has encouraged communities to return to the Guy Fawkes Day tradition of lighting a huge fire, but topping it with a benefit claimant instead.

Read the full article →

I’m definitely not lying now, insists man who just admitted to lying to MPs

Thumbnail image for I’m definitely not lying now, insists man who just admitted to lying to MPs

Businessman and ardent Brexiter Aaron Banks used a BBC interview yesterday to explain that what he told a Parliament Select Committee was a lie, but he was being really truthful now when he explained that the biggest donation in British politics was completely legit, even if he couldn’t tell you where the money came from.

Read the full article →

New Republican campaign ad just clips of Nino Brown from New Jack City

Thumbnail image for New Republican campaign ad just clips of Nino Brown from New Jack City

As the US mid-terms approach, Racist sex-pest and president Donald Trump has revealed the latest Republican campaign ad – a series of clips of Nino Brown from New Jack City intercut with pictures of a white woman screaming. A voice repeats ‘be afraid’ throughout.

Read the full article →

David Cameron confident that everyone is over that whole pig f*cking thing

Thumbnail image for David Cameron confident that everyone is over that whole pig f*cking thing

Former Prime Minister David Cameron has floated the idea of a return to frontline politics after admitting his confidence that the story about his liaison with the mouth of a dead pig is now pretty much over and everyone’s forgotten about it.

Read the full article →

Stopping an investigation into Arron Banks isn’t even the worst decision I made that week, insists Theresa May

Thumbnail image for Stopping an investigation into Arron Banks isn’t even the worst decision I made that week, insists Theresa May

Theresa May has played down rumours that she decided to prevent the nation’s security services investigating Arron Banks and his funding sources before the Brexit referendum, insisting that she makes far worse decisions on a weekly basis.

Read the full article →

Trump visibly erect as he discussed murdering stone-throwing asylum-seekers

Thumbnail image for Trump visibly erect as he discussed murdering stone-throwing asylum-seekers

Donald Trump, Fascist Monthly’s Man of the Year, and actual US President, yesterday appeared visibly tumescent as he proposed the murdering of unarmed asylum-seekers who throw stones.

Read the full article →

Sports minister somehow surprised to discover Tories a bunch of lying bastards

Thumbnail image for Sports minister somehow surprised to discover Tories a bunch of lying bastards

Tracey Crouch has resigned as Sports minister after belatedly realising that Conservative politicians are not known for putting the welfare of the public above the interests of the financial backers.

Read the full article →

Boris Johnson will not participate in Movember despite successful Ineptember and Cocktober

Thumbnail image for Boris Johnson will not participate in Movember despite successful Ineptember and Cocktober

Former Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson has confirmed that he will not take part in Movember to raise awareness of testicular cancer despite a successful September and October in which he massively heightened awareness that he’s an inept cock.

Read the full article →

I did a whoopsie and made everyone poor, says multi-millionaire George Osborne

Thumbnail image for I did a whoopsie and made everyone poor, says multi-millionaire George Osborne

Former Chancellor George Osborne, who is the millionaire beneficiary of his Daddy’s trust fund, has publicly admitted to not doing enough to prevent the people of Britain being economically fucked by Brexit.

Read the full article →

Hillary Clinton caught secretly posting letter bombs with someone else’s fingerprints on them

Thumbnail image for Hillary Clinton caught secretly posting letter bombs with someone else’s fingerprints on them

Pictures have emerged of Hillary Clinton posting bombs with someone else’s fingerprints all over them to make Donald Trump look bad.

Read the full article →