Politics

Jeremy Corbyn demands video-assisted refereeing for chemical weapon atrocities

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Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn believes new VAR technology could be used to apportion blame in the Syrian conflict.

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Despite every other intervention in the Middle East being a disaster, this time it’ll be different, insists West

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Whilst acknowledging that every single intervention made by the West in the Middle East has been a complete catastrophe for all concerned, the West has insisted that this time it will definitely be different, and everything will work out splendidly.

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Syrian chemical attacks were Andrew Lloyd Webber stage production, claims Russia

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Russians who accused the British of “staging” the recent chemical attacks in Syria have pointed the finger at Andrew Lloyd Webber, according to reports.

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Humankind enjoys final nuclear apocalypse-free weekend

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The citizens of the world awake are enjoying their final weekend before the entire planet is irradiated forever by a collection of demented war-hungry lunatics who, for some reason, people have seen fit to elect to power.

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Jeremy Hunt apologises for ‘forgetting’ he was Health Secretary

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Jeremy Hunt has apologised after forgetting he was in charge of the NHS and responsible for ensuring it runs safely and effectively.

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Bombing Syria is definitely the best use of hundreds of millions of pounds, insist nation’s homeless

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Homeless men, women and children across the land have today confirmed their unanimous support for military intervention in Syria.

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Tories confident of re-election after plotting to send troublesome youth vote to their deaths in Syria

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Theresa May’s Conservative Government is quietly confident of winning the next general election – after edging a step closer to wiping out large numbers of the troublesome youth vote by sending them to their deaths in Syria.

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Everyone on Facebook suddenly an expert on parliamentary law in the area of military deployment

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Everyone on Facebook has revealed that they are secretly experts in parliamentary law specialising specifically in the area of military deployment.

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Big Ben clock hands amputated in accordance with Sharia Law, insist UKIP activists

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Big Ben’s hands have been amputated in a clear example of creeping Sharia-style justice, insist deranged pricks and UKIP voters.

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Leaked report says that reducing MP numbers by 98% would ‘increase efficiency’

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A leaked email has revealed that a recommendation has been made to the government to reduce MP numbers by around 98 percent, claiming that the changes will have a positive effect on how the country is run.

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