Politics

UK set for unprecedented economic boom as Brexiters begin ‘talking the country up’

Thumbnail image for UK set for unprecedented economic boom as Brexiters begin ‘talking the country up’

After learning that how you talk about the country can affect its economic performance on the world stage, Brexiters full of positive thoughts have told the nation to prepare for unprecedented growth.

Read the full article →

Tories agree £1bn deal with DUP after finally locating elusive magic money tree

Thumbnail image for Tories agree £1bn deal with DUP after finally locating elusive magic money tree

A magical tree on which government money grows has miraculously been found in time to secure a deal with the DUP, a government spokesperson has confirmed.

Read the full article →

Dave Grohl slams Jeremy Corbyn as Foo sympathiser

Thumbnail image for Dave Grohl slams Jeremy Corbyn as Foo sympathiser

Following Jeremy Corbyn’s triumphant Glastonbury appearance on the same stage as the Foo Fighters, Dave Grohl has revealed that the Labour leader has secret links to the Foo and even sympathises with them.

Read the full article →

Ministers able to access World of Warcraft again after Parliament cyber-attack

Thumbnail image for Ministers able to access World of Warcraft again after Parliament cyber-attack

There was relief amongst ministers this morning as they were able to access their World of Warcraft accounts for the first time after the cyber-attack on Parliament last Friday.

Read the full article →

Build bridges not walls says festival with massive security fence

Thumbnail image for Build bridges not walls says festival with massive security fence

Glastonbury has become a torch-bearer for the free movement of people after erecting a massive fence to keep the hippies out.

Read the full article →

A patriotic media is the foundation of a fair and democratic society, confirms Kim Jong-un

Thumbnail image for A patriotic media is the foundation of a fair and democratic society, confirms Kim Jong-un

The North Korean leader has confirmed that having a patriotic news organisation is crucial to gaining the trust of the populace.

Read the full article →

Jeremy Corbyn unexpectedly wins over notoriously right-wing Glastonbury crowd

Thumbnail image for Jeremy Corbyn unexpectedly wins over notoriously right-wing Glastonbury crowd

Jeremy Corbyn has stunned his critics by being cheered to the rafters by the notoriously pro-Tory crowd at Glastonbury yesterday.

Read the full article →

Alternate universe sees Nigel Farage appear on Glastonbury main stage and be drowned in warm piss

Thumbnail image for Alternate universe sees Nigel Farage appear on Glastonbury main stage and be drowned in warm piss

After complaining that the BBC had used his licence fee to cover Jeremy Corbyn’s appearance at Glastonbury, former UKIP leader Nigel Farage has been told by residents of an alternative universe that his appearance on the same stage did not go well.

Read the full article →

“The EU is so great, its citizens want to be able to live in Britain for as long as possible” Juncker tells May

Thumbnail image for “The EU is so great, its citizens want to be able to live in Britain for as long as possible” Juncker tells May

Opportunities in the EU are so fantastic its citizens want to live in Britain far longer than five years, Jean-Claude Juncker has told Theresa May today.

Read the full article →

People behind Grenfell Tower refurbishment delighted to see nation turn on Hotpoint

Thumbnail image for People behind Grenfell Tower refurbishment delighted to see nation turn on Hotpoint

The businesses and politicians involved in the refurbishment of Grenfell Tower are today delighted to see the nation’s anger being directed at people who make kitchen appliances.

Read the full article →