Politics

UKIP announce plans to broaden their racism

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UKIP have announced that they intend to broaden their party-political racism to encompass whole new swathes of society.

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Tories to ban London Marathon after strong runner filmed helping weak runner

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Prime Minister Theresa May has called for the London marathon to be banned after a strong athlete helped a weak athlete in an outrageous display of asphalt-based socialism.

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British beekeepers to protest against UKIP’s ‘no face veils in public’ manifesto proposal

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Beekeepers across the country are organising an official protest against a UKIP proposal which would prevent people from wearing face-covering veils in public and at work.

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Opposition parties demand farmyard animals be given the vote

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UK opposition parties have backed a call to enfranchise farmyard animals at the upcoming election.

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20-year-old surprised to be facing third ‘once-in-a-lifetime’ democratic opportunity in two years

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20-year-old Jack Williams has spoken of his surprise at being handed his third once-in-a-lifetime democratic opportunity in the two years since his 18th birthday.

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Ken Clarke denies that political success due to his sex-appeal

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Ex-Chancellor Ken Clarke has strongly denied that he has spent his life exploiting his sex appeal to advance in public life.

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France as thick as merde de cochon

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Twenty-two percent of French voters are as thick as fucking merde de cochon, it has emerged.

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Horror of General Election finally becomes apparent after Michael Gove appears on TV

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The genuine horror of another General Election campaign finally became apparent to millions of voters yesterday after Michael Gove appeared on the news.

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Relief as fuckwits announce plan to spoil their ballot papers

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There was nationwide joy today as hordes of uneducated dullards revealed their plans to simply draw a massive cock on their ballot papers this June.

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The Shire elects Saruman as new leader

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In a stunning turn of events, the hobbits of the Shire have elected Saruman as their new leader.

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