Politics

Pound falls on reports of Brexit plans to relocate Great Britain to Pacific Ocean

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The pound has hit its lowest level in three months amid reports that Theresa May will outline plans to physically pull Great Britain out of Europe and relocate it in the Pacific Ocean, just to the south of Hawaii.

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All Americans to schedule 5-minute slots with President Trump for personal feuds

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The entire American population is being urged to schedule five-minute slots with Donald Trump, so he can fit in a personal feud with all of them during his term as President.

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MP Tristram Hunt steps down after accidentally visiting Stoke-on-Trent

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Tristram Hunt, the MP for Stoke-on-Trent Central, has resigned from the Labour party after inadvertently spending some time in his constituency.

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People who want to see the Donald Trump sex tape told to seek urgent psychiatric help

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The government has been warned that mental health provision is unlikely to be able to cope if the Donald Trump sex tape is released.

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America set to enjoy final fuckery-free, Trumpless weekend

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America is gearing up to enjoy the last unfucked weekend they’re going to have for the foreseeable future.

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Jeremy Corbyn reminds everyone that he may be shit but he’s not evil

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Jeremy Corbyn has emerged from his sixteen-week Christmas break to prove that he might be utterly shit, but at least he’s not evil.

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Exclusive interview: Donald Trump loves fake news

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President Elect Donald Trump has made it clear that he is a huge fan of fake news.

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Brexiters call for an end to free movement of weather

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Leading members of the Brexit campaign have today called upon the Prime Minister to make ending the free movement of weather across Europe a major part of the government’s negotiations strategy for leaving the EU.

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Sharing of fake news should be limited to birth certificates, insists Donald Trump

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President-elect Donald Trump has called on the mainstream media to only share fake news when it relates to birth certificates he himself has questioned.

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White House orders King-Sized waterproof mattress covers

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White House staff have placed a bulk order to waterproof easy-clean mattress covers for the Executive Residence.

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