Politics

Jacob Rees-Mogg given right of Prima Nocta in attempt to stave off Brexiter rebellion

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Theresa May has seen off a potential leadership challenge by accepting an ERG amendment to the latest Brexit Bill and awarding their leader, Jacob Rees-Mogg, the ancient medieval right to first bed any newlywed maiden in Somerset.

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US Prisons empty as Donald Trump pardons any inmate who insists they didn’t do it

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The US prison service is in disarray after Donald Trump set free any inmate that assured him they had nothing to do with the crime with which they were charged.

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Weary nation prepares for yet another referendum after Theresa May categorically rules it out

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There is definitely going to be another referendum now that Theresa May has ruled it out, according to voters sick to the back teeth of this stuff.

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I would be a fool not to trust Vladimir Putin over the FBI and CIA, insists Donald Trump

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President Donald Trump has decided to believe the word of the Russian president, rather than his own intelligence agencies when it comes to outside interference in the democratic process of the United States.

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Please stop calling me ‘daddy’, Putin begs Donald Trump

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Vladimir Putin really doesn’t like Donald Trump referring to him as “daddy”.

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Piers Morgan relieved to find lost cufflink deep inside Donald Trump’s colon

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Piers Morgan is celebrating this morning after finding a valuable cufflink he had written off as lost while deep inside the colon of Donald Trump during his most recent interview with the American President.

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Liam Fox still waiting for someone to explain his job to him

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Despite holding his ministerial position for two years, Liam Fox is still waiting for someone to come and explain what he’s supposed to do.

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Donald Trump announces new policy of regime change directed at the United Kingdom

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The president of the United States last night confirmed his government are now seeking to topple the UK government in order to install one more amenable to his and his friends’ worldview.

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Hard-hitting Piers Morgan interview finally uncovers President Trump’s favourite colour

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Piers Morgan scored an exclusive interview with Donald Trump aboard Air Force One, and has revealed he managed what no other reporter has ever managed, in getting the president to admit his favourite colour.

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Donald Trump criticises Windsor Castle as ‘an old dump in need of modernisation’ after visit

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The reality TV star who is also technically the President of the United States has slammed Windsor Castle after visiting it today.

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