Politics

Wormtail quits as White House press secretary

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Half-man half-rat Peter Pettigrew has resigned suddenly from his role as chief spokesman for the White House.

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Pest controllers removing parasites in Parliament buildings finally corner Michael Gove

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Pest controllers contracted to remove parasites from the Houses of Parliament say they have Michael Gove cornered in a back office.

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Vince Cable emerges from epic, seven-year sulk

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Vince Cable has finally stopped sulking due to the Liberal Democrats agreeing to put him in charge.

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Cersei Lannister agrees £1.5 billion ‘confidence and supply’ deal with Greyjoys

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Cersei Lannister has been accused of bribing the Greyjoys after agreeing a £1.5 billion deal to prop up her minority monarchy.

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BBC to launch 24-hour rolling Jeremy Corbyn channel

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The BBC is to respond to criticism that it does not cover the Labour leader enough by launching a 24-hour rolling Corbyn channel.

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Controversy as salaries of staff at Little Winkle village library revealed

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The village of Little Winkle was in uproar yesterday as the salaries of staff at the village library were revealed as part of last year’s ‘Demonization of the village library’ edict.

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Planning your funeral now more realistic priority than planning your retirement

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After the government announced Britons born between 1970 and 1978 won’t be able to claim the state pension until they are 68, workers under 48 have begun making enquiries about workplace funeral schemes.

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Since we’re all being so honest, let’s see how much politicians earn, says BBC

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The BBC has revealed that it will now focus its investigative journalism on the wealth and income of senior members of the government.

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Please stop revealing to everyone what a shower of shit we really are, Theresa May begs cabinet

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The prime minister has pleaded with her cabinet to stop leaking information to the press about how entirely incompetent everyone is.

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Man who is completely dependant on public servants decides to call them overpaid dossers

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Philip Hammond, who relies on government employees for information, implementation of policy and even his own safety has taken the radical step of saying they should get less money.

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