Politics

American Police to improve efficiency with regulated monthly cull of black men

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Police forces across America are to organise a regulated, monthly cull of black men as a more efficient means of reaching their dead black men targets.

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Brexiter annoyed by people pointing out that thing they were told would happen ‘is happening’

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Brexit supporters are furious that people keep pointing out that the thing they were told would happen if we voted to leave the EU are now actually happening.

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Donald Trump praised for performance in Nuremberg 2: This Time It’s Islam

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The long-awaited sequel to the Nuremberg Rally has gone down a storm with people who like that kind of thing.

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Donald Trump declares war on US as top threat to Americans revealed to be ‘Americans’

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After discovering that more Americans are shot and killed by Americans than any other nation on earth, Republican presidential nominee announced a new plan to declare ‘war on the US’.

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Donald Trump pledges to tackle trips, slips and falls in America

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Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump has pledged to create a safer America by tackling everyday trips, slips and falls.

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Labour plan annual leadership crisis after ‘wildly successful’ £25 vote sale

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The Labour party plans to solve its funding shortfall by holding a leadership crisis every summer.

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Labour Party to withhold Jeremy Corbyn’s Vitamin D supply

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The Labour hierarchy will attempt to oust leader Jeremy Corbyn by hiding his Vitamin D tablets, it has emerged.

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Britain looking forward to America having a President they can look down on again

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Britain has this morning breathed a sigh of relief at the news America will finally have a political leader they can look down on again.

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Trident renewal forces angry Putin to mothball Britain invasion plan

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Vladimir Putin’s detailed plan to annexe Great Britain has been mothballed after MPs voted to renew the Trident nuclear missile system.

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Life was hard as a black woman growing up in America, says Donald Trump’s wife

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Melania Trump has described the struggles she’s had to overcome as a black woman growing up in America, in a totally original and heartfelt speech.

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