Politics

Moron interviews inconsequence

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A complete moron has today interviewed a complete inconsequence, according to emerging reports.

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Labour would bring back Jimmy Savile, warn Tories

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Labour would return Britain to the dark days of the 1970s by bringing back children’s entertainer Jimmy Savile, according to Prime Minister David Cameron.

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Labour Party hit by poignant metaphor

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The Labour Party has been hit by a poignant metaphor as their election battle bus broke down on the first day of campaigning.

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Nick Clegg refusing to leave Buckingham Palace

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Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg is ‘hanging round Buck House like a fart in a Volkswagen’, we can report today.

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Labour manifesto to include pledge on 100% reduction in Katie Hopkins

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After promising to leave the country if Ed Miliband becomes Prime Minister, Katie Hopkins has found herself central to a revised Labour election strategy.

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New poll shows televised leaders debate won by King Richard III

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Early polling indicates that last night’s televised leaders debate between David Cameron and Ed Miliband was won by King Richard III by a wide margin.

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SNP manifesto to be a ‘choose your own adventure’ book

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The SNP election manifesto will be an 80’s-style ‘choose your own adventure’ book, it has been announced today.

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William Hague kicks John Bercow in shins and gives him a Chinese burn

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There were sensational scenes in the House of Commons yesterday as William Hague repeatedly kicked John Bercow in the shins before giving him a Chinese burn.

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Prince Charles letters show he thought he was writing to his plants

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Letters Prince Charles sent to the government clearly show he believed he was actually writing to his plants, we can exclusively reveal.

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Jeremy Clarkson to run for Mayor of London

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With his career at the BBC likely over, Jeremy Clarkson has announced his next career move will be to run as Mayor of London when Boris Johnson steps down.

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