Politics

Michael Flatley booked to provide audio camouflage for Trump assassin’s gunshots

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Michael Flatley’s stompy dancing will perfectly cover up the sound of a shot from a U.S. SOCOM M24 rifle this Friday.

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Michael Flatley’s upper body refusing to perform at Donald Trump inauguration

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Michael Flatley’s upper body has announced that it will not be performing at Donald Trump’s inauguration celebration.

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Remainers who have given up Remaining are the worst, say smokers

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Former Remainers definitely make the worst Brexiters, according to a study of smokers.

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If planet is warming why did I have to scrape ice off my car this morning, asks UKIP environment spokesperson

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As scientists announced that 2016 is likely to be the warmest on record, UKIP’s environment spokesperson has said that can’t be true as they had to wear socks in bed last night.

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BBC found to have ‘misrepresented’ Jeremy Corbyn as competent opposition leader

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A report from the BBC Trust has concluded that a news report about Jeremy Corbyn breached the broadcaster’s impartiality and accuracy guidelines, misrepresenting him as a competent opposition leader.

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Theresa May bids to meet Donald Trump by entering Miss World and leaving her dressing room door unlocked

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Theresa May is trying to get an early meeting with Donald Trump by entering the Miss World competition and leaving her dressing room door unlocked.

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Obama family to spend final day in White House sewing fish into the curtains

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As Barack Obama’s time as President comes to an end, he revealed that the final day in the White House will be a busy one.

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Big fuck off alligator heading for Trump inauguration

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A big fuck off alligator with a taste for thin-skinned Republicans is making its way to Washington for Donald Trump’s inauguration.

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Remoaners should stop moaning, insist people who’ve spent their lives moaning

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People who’ve spent their entire lives moaning about ‘feeling like a stranger in their own country’ or claiming ‘you can’t sing Baa Baa Black Sheep anymore’ have told Remain voters to stop moaning.

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Boost for baking industry as Brexit plan calls for nation to have cake and eat it

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Theresa May’s plans for Brexit have caused controversy across the country, but there’s one group who are looking forward to a considerable boost in their fortunes.

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