Politics

Use benefit claimants as bonfire ‘Guys’ urges Osborne

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The Chancellor has encouraged communities to return to the Guy Fawkes Day tradition of lighting a huge fire, but topping it with a benefit claimant instead.

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Don’t look at the wheelchairs, look at the scroungers sat in them, explain ministers

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Government ministers have explained that people should look beyond the disabilities of disabled people to focus on how much they might be claiming in benefits.

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Government to ignore expert advice on drug laws in favour of series 9 & 10 of Grange Hill

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Following a 6-year study by scientists, police officers, academics and experts into Britain’s drug laws, the government has insisted that it will rely instead on the plight of Samuel ‘Zammo’ Maguire from Grange Hill.

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David Cameron receives counselling after contact with dreadlocks

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Prime minister David Cameron is today receiving counselling after coming into contact with a member of the public sporting what he has been told are ‘dreadlocks’.

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British towns ‘swamped’ with racist politicians

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There are concerns that many British towns are being swamped by racist politicians and they are starting to make people feel under siege.

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Scotland to reduce drink drive limit to one bottle of Scotch

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The Scottish government has announced plans to reduce the country’s drink-drive limit to just one bottle of Scotch in time for Christmas.

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Mike Read apologises for ‘blacking up’ in UKIP Calypso video

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Former BBC Radio 1 DJ Mike Read has apologised and withdrawn a music video for his song ‘UKIP Calypso’ after people complained about him blacking up during his performance.

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Victims of crime prefer British criminals, insist UKIP

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Victims of crime in the UK prefer being subjected to the will of indigenous criminals, according to Nigel Farage.

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‘The Meek’ facing enormous Inheritance Tax bill

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The nation’s meek have been left shocked at the size of their potential Inheritance Tax bill, according to reports this morning.

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Paralysed man walks again, is declared fit for work by ATOS

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A formerly paralysed man has celebrated the success of a pioneering therapy that involved transplanting nasal cells into his spinal cord, with an ATOS mandated appointment at the jobcentre.

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