Politics

New bio-bus to run on bullshit election manifestos

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The UK’s first bus powered entirely by the excrement inside an election manifesto has gone into service between Bristol and Bath.

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Farage erection enters 7th hour

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Nigel Farage’s erection shows no signs of abating, according to source close to the UKIP leader this morning.

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‘Send em back where they came from’ officially 2014’s top performing political slogan

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Telling voters you’ll send everyone back to where they came from is officially 2014’s top performing political policy, according new research this morning.

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Gordon Brown quits politics to become dating guru

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Former Prime Minister Gordon brown has announced that he will resign as MP in order to become a full-time pick-up artist.

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ISIS leader endorses UKIP candidate

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As the Rochester and Strood by-election campaign reaches its final stages, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi has waded into the debate, giving his organisation’s full support to UKIP’s Mark Reckless.

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Miliband better than Cameron at ‘loads of things’

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Ed Miliband has come back fighting after a disastrous week of bottoming poll ratings and personal attacks to claim that he is better than the Prime Minister ‘at loads of things’.

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Bankers’ wrists starting to get really sore

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Bankers working in the city of London have explained how their wrists are incredibly sore after yet another severe slapping yesterday.

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Devil ‘not interested’ in UKIP coalition

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The Devil has rejected claims of a potential coalition with the UK Independence Party, insisting he could never partner with someone less trustworthy than himself.

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Abuse review finds all evidence that records were destroyed has been destroyed

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The Wanless review into the handling of allegations of child abuse by prominent figures has found that any evidence of records removed or destroyed, has been removed or destroyed.

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Labour backbenchers keen to replace Ed Miliband with Adrian Chiles

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Rebel Labour backbenchers have secretly approached TV presenter Adrian Chiles about leading the party into the next election.

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