Politics

America’s bums furious at comparisons to Donald Trump

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Bums across America have lashed out after Lebron James likened them to Donald Trump.

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Fire athletes who say USA isn’t great, insists President who says same thing

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Donald Trump has suggested dissenting NFL players should be fired, despite winning the Presidency on a campaign of dissension.

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Ratings agencies failing to take into account UK’s huge rise in sovereignty, insists Brexiter

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After Moody’s downgraded the UK’s credit rating to Aa2 following Theresa May’s speech in Florence, Brexiters have accused rating agencies of failing to understand the power of sovereignty.

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Hopes fading as search continues for Brexiter who thinks Brexit is ‘going really well’

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Hopes are fading fast as the nation continues to search for a Brexiter who is willing to state publicly that Brexit is ‘going great and precisely to plan’.

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Theresa May’s Florence speech to be delivered on her knees and begin ‘Please, please, please’

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Leaks from within Government have revealed that Theresa May’s crucial Brexit speech in Florence will be delivered on her knees in supplication and will open with the words ‘Please, please, please’.

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Donald Trump tip-off sees Theresa May strike up post-Brexit trade deal with Nambia

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Theresa May will use some of the control Britain will take back from the EU to strike a legendary trade deal with Nambia, it has emerged.

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‘Nest of singing birds’ actually f**king hate each other

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It has been revealed that a nest of singing birds, popularly supposed to be working together in harmony and fellowship, actually f**king hate each other.

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“Judges can kiss my clit!” says defiant outlaw Amber Rudd

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In a Skype interview from an undisclosed location, notorious criminal and Home Secretary Amber Rudd was unrepentant about violating a court order and deporting a man to his imminent death.

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Donald Trump invited to visit Planet Earth

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Humanity has issued an official invitation for lunatic hair-man Donald Trump to visit Planet Earth.

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North Korea changes national anthem to Elton John’s ‘Rocket Man’

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North Korea has a new national anthem, and it’s a catchy one, it has emerged today.

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