Politics

Mike Read apologises for ‘blacking up’ in UKIP Calypso video

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Former BBC Radio 1 DJ Mike Read has apologised and withdrawn a music video for his song ‘UKIP Calypso’ after people complained about him blacking up during his performance.

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Victims of crime prefer British criminals, insist UKIP

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Victims of crime in the UK prefer being subjected to the will of indigenous criminals, according to Nigel Farage.

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‘The Meek’ facing enormous Inheritance Tax bill

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The nation’s meek have been left shocked at the size of their potential Inheritance Tax bill, according to reports this morning.

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Paralysed man walks again, is declared fit for work by ATOS

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A formerly paralysed man has celebrated the success of a pioneering therapy that involved transplanting nasal cells into his spinal cord, with an ATOS mandated appointment at the jobcentre.

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A little bit of holocaust denial never hurt anyone, confirm UKIP

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Just because your party leader is a racist who denies the holocaust doesn’t mean you can’t help UKIP maintain its European funding, Nigel Farage confirmed today.

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Panda suit and bamboo diet your best chance of survival, poor children told

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Wearing a black and white furry suit and adopting a diet consisting solely of bamboo is the average British child’s best hope of survival, a new report suggests.

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Prisons to be full of Twitter morons by Christmas

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News that Internet trolls could face two-year custodial sentences has led to warnings that the nation’s prisons could be full of Twitter morons by Christmas.

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Put all immigrants in cages, say Labour

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The Labour party have made a pledge to put all immigrants in cages should they win the next general election.

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Outrage as disabled man suggests Tory MPs ‘not worth the minimum wage’

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A disabled man has provoked outrage by suggesting that some Conservative MPs probably don’t deserve to be paid the minimum wage.

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Entire country voting Ukip, reveals new poll

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A poll conducted by 53 Year-old Miriam Knox from Stroud has revealed that everyone she talks to is voting Ukip.

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