Politics

Scottish referendum parties do battle for lucrative North Korean endorsement

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As campaigning in the Scottish referendum enters its final phase, both sides have pulled out all the stops to woo the lucrative North Korean endorsement.

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Independent Scotland will be a lot like Mad Max, claim RBS

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RBS will leave an independent Scotland after economists predicted a Mad Max style post-apocalyptic wasteland dominated by the small amount of oil still up for grabs.

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Alex Salmond claims independent Scotland would part own Royal Baby

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Any Royal Child conceived whilst Scotland is part of the UK will be part owned by an independent Scotland, Alex Salmond has confirmed today.

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Cameron ‘not ruling out’ action that could win him a GQ humanitarian award

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Prime minister David Cameron has said he is not ruling out the sort of military campaign in Iraq that could see him ultimately be named GQ’s Humanitarian of the year.

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The fish is off so what would you like instead, waiter asks Alex Salmond for hundredth time

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Despite being told the monkfish special is not available, Alex Salmond is steadfastly refusing to give his waiter an alternative menu item for his lunch order today.

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Being a closet racist was exhausting, claims UKIP’s ‘outed’ Douglas Carswell

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MP Douglas Carswell has said that he is proud to be out of the closet and finally able to say the sort of racist things only UKIP members normally get away with.

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Our society is still far too egalitarian, complain Oxbridge graduates

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There are still far too many opportunities for people who went to comprehensive schools, according to a report commissioned by graduates of Oxbridge.

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Televised Scottish Independence debate ‘still going strong’ in pub round corner

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Last night’s BBC Scottish Independence debate has entered its thirteenth hour in a pub around the corner from the studio, according to sources.

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Regulated rail fares to rise from ‘Outrageous’ to ‘Exorbitant’

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Rail fares will rise an average of 3.5% in the new year, according to the Association of Train Operating Companies, elevating current prices from ‘outrageous’ to ‘exorbitant’.

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UN diverts aid convoys to ‘penniless’ Mark Simmonds MP

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The UN has diverted aid convoys bound for Northern Iraq in a bid to save ‘destitute’ Foreign Office Minister Mark Simmonds.

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