Politics

Rise in compensation claims by those mis-sold a life outside the EU

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Leave voters have been receiving text messages from l’ambulance-chasing companies asking to contact them if they’ve been mis-sold a life outside the EU.

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Racists really enjoying their new mandate from the public

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Racists across the nation are happier than ever spouting their horrific opinions in public after insisting that 52% of the country agrees with them.

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‘Project Fear’ to be renamed ‘Project Reality’

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Pretty much everything dismissed as Project Fear has come true this morning, leading to a quick rebranding.

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Lionel Messi quits Labour Shadow cabinet

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Lionel Messi has stunned Labour party officials after tendering his resignation from the Shadow Cabinet following allegations of impropriety during the EU referendum, according to reports.

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Iain Duncan Smith tells wife: “Our wedding vows were just a series of possibilities”

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Leading Brexit campaigner Iain Duncan Smith has admitted to his wife that their wedding vows, solemnly pledged to each other in 1982, were just “a series of possibilities”.

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Operation Yewtree investigates Leave campaign over plan to f*ck a generation of kids

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The head of Operation Yewtree has confirmed that it will be launching an inquiry after a group of politicians known as “Leave” publicly screwed everyone under the age of 16.

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Man who didn’t vote signs online petition for another go

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A man who didn’t vote on Thursday has signed an online petition insisting the government let him have another go.

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Office Brexiter still acting like he’s Winston bloody Churchill

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The guy in your office who spoke loudly about wanting to “take this country back” is still acting like he’s bloody Churchill, according to sources this morning.

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Everything much better now

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Reports are coming in from across the country suggesting that since the vote to leave the EU, everything has got much, much better.

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Concerned nation joins hunt for missing George Osborne

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Concerned friends and relatives have asked for information on the whereabouts of Chancellor George Osborne, who hasn’t been seen since Thursday.

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