Health

Man suffering from stress and anxiety makes full recovery after just chilling out a bit

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A man who has been suffering from stress and anxiety has made a full recovery after just chilling out and relaxing.

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Scottish politicians stage walkout over Westminster decision to serve fresh vegetables at lunchtime

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In dramatic scenes at Westminster, Scottish politicians have marched out of Parliament in protest at the canteen serving fresh vegetables.

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Red Hen restaurant a lot cleaner and safer to eat at than Mar-a-Lago, confirm inspectors

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The restaurant from which Sarah Sanders was ejected over the weekend is a much nicer place than any of Donald Trump’s resorts, especially Mar-a-Lago, health and safety inspectors have concluded today.

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White people amazed to discover marijuana actually illegal

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Recent proposals to make marijuana legal have come as a surprise to white people, who were pretty sure it already was.

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‘Don’t legalise cannabis, it damages people’ claims politician who will drink bottle of wine tonight

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A politician who won’t legalise cannabis will definitely enjoy a few cheeky snifters this evening.

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Government to ignore expert advice on drug laws and instead base policy on series 9 & 10 of Grange Hill

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Following calls by William Hague to review Britain’s drug laws, the government has insisted that it will rely instead on the plight of Samuel ‘Zammo’ Maguire from Grange Hill to inform policy.

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Huge blow for England World Cup chances as Danny Welbeck fails to injure himself in training

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Huge blow for England World Cup chances after Danny Welbeck fails to injure himself in training

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Relief as McDonald’s ditch plastic straws but keep plastic cheese

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McDonald’s will be ditching their harmful plastic but keeping the tasty plastic.

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Use a f*cking cloth to wipe up your mess, furious tea towels tell disgusting nation

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A furious tea towel has urged ‘for the love of God’ that the nation cease and desist from using him and his kind to mop up their pasta sauce and coffee spills when there are perfectly suited sponges and dishcloths available for precisely that task.

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Syphilis and Gonorrhoea to be named as ‘most improved diseases’ at national awards ceremony

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This year’s British Awards for Infectious Diseases (BAID) is set to be dominated by comeback kings Syphilis and Gonorrhoea, following their fantastic performances to become the most improved diseases of the year, with increases of 20 and 22 per cent respectively.

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