Health

NHS patients waiting up to five hours to thump Jeremy Hunt

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Waiting times for decking Jeremy Hunt have reached record levels.

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Thing I am in charge of performing terribly, says man taking no responsibility whatsoever

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Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has told reporters that the NHS problems are unacceptable, seemingly unaware that he is responsible for causing said problems.

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Man sitting in A&E with a cold insists NHS crisis ‘due to immigrants’

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A man sat waiting in A&E because he is sure his cold is life-threatening has expressed his anger at the immigrants causing a crisis in the NHS.

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Grey pubic hair treated like sign of impending apocalypse

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After finding a grey pubic hair, 35-year-old Simon Williams has reacted as if it is a sign that the world is coming to an end.

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Waiting in A&E ‘no longer fun’

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All of the joy has been sucked out of waiting in an emergency room.

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NHS to introduce ‘One in, One out’ policy at Accident and Emergency

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Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has announced that the Accident and Emergency departments at UK hospitals will now operate the ‘one in, one out’ policy commonly used at busy nightclubs.

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Disabled man just one more benefit cut from having sufficient incentive to walk again

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Wheelchair-bound benefit claimants have said the looming cuts to their benefits could be just what they need to get back on their feet.

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Heston Blumenthal spotted buying cheap snail porridge in Asda

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Top Chef Heston Blumenthal has been snapped buying bulk £1 bags of snail porridge in his local branch of ADSA.

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OK, maybe the NHS isn’t going to get any more money, concedes Brexiter

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As the NHS crisis continues, Brexit voter Simon Williams has reluctantly conceded that maybe the health service won’t be getting any extra Brexit money after all.

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Police issue warning about dangers of black market iceberg lettuce

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With news that the country is facing a national shortage of iceberg lettuces, police have issued a warning against buying iceberg lettuces from illegal black market suppliers.

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