Health

Cheese will never let you down, studies show

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Cheese outperforms having a boyfriend or a girlfriend on all measures of life satisfaction, according to a study published today.

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New KY Jelly home delivery service to be called LUber

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A new lube delivery service promises to help you to get wherever you want to go at a moment’s notice.

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Brexiters tell NHS boss to grow up and stop believing in big red buses

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The head of the NHS in England has been told that he should have grown out of believing in big red buses and their fairytale promises a long time ago.

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Everyone wishing that woman who ‘found herself’ would lose herself again

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A woman who insists on telling everyone how she ‘found herself’ on a new-age retreat can lose herself again anytime she likes, according to reports today.

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Snickers bars to be invisible to the naked eye by 2025

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Snickers bars are getting smaller so fast they will be invisible to the naked eye ‘within the decade’, scientists have confirmed.

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Simon Cowell rushed to hospital with dangerously swollen ego

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X-Factor star Simon Cowell has been rushed to hospital suffering from a dangerously large and unsightly swelling to his ego, according to reports this afternoon.

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NHS ‘Air BnB’ scheme a ‘great opportunity’ for Tories to have total stranger die in their home

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Tories will soon be able to take control of their country and also take control of the care of a patient recovering from surgery, it has been announced today.

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Robert Mugabe made ‘Goodwill Ambassador’ because it was either him or Katie Hopkins, say WHO

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The World Health Organisation has defended its decision to appoint the Zimbabwean President as a goodwill ambassador, arguing that you should have seen who he was up against.

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Horrifying advert claims women bleed actual blood during periods and not a magical blue liquid

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Following the airing of the new Bodyform advert, men across the country have been shocked to learn that women regularly bleed actual blood out of their vaginas, rather than a charming blue liquid.

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Scots to discipline children by sending them to England

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As Scotland bans smacking, parents north of the border are punishing children by threatening to send them to England.

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