Health

NHS staff to be offered Zumba instead of pay rise

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NHS staff are to be offered complimentary Zumba classes as part of a pay restructuring deal that will see them never get a pay rise again.

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New simplified ‘fit for work’ tests to consist of checking for a pulse

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Iain Duncan Smith has announced a major shake-up of the rules governing sickness benefit, designed to encourage more people into work.

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Can we buy ‘female viagra’ in powdered form, ask men

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The US Food and Drug Administration is facing thousands of enquiries from male customers after approving a libido-enhancing drug for women dubbed the ‘female Viagra’.

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Billy Bunter identified as patient zero in global obesity epidemic

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1950s schoolboy Billy Bunter has been identified as patient zero in the global obesity epidemic, according to epidemiologists.

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Jose Mourinho cuts NHS waiting lists to zero after telling doctors who actually needs treating

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Jose Mourinho has been thanked by administrators inside the NHS, after he reduced waiting lists to zero by declaring no-one genuinely in need of treatment.

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Parasitic bugs warned about contact with Northerners

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Parasitic bugs in the Lancastrian water supply have been warned to be on high alert due to the high risk of contact with Northerners.

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New wrinkle cure has doctors terrified because it’s made out of doctors

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A wrinkle cure discovered by a local mum has doctors terrified because it’s made out of ground-up doctors, according to the news this morning.

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Restaurant with 4/5 food hygiene rating somehow thinks this worth advertising

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Your local restaurant is under the impression that it’s worth advertising the fact they have room for improvement when it comes to the hygiene around their food preparation.

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Weekend Doctors should be working, not taking selfies, says Jeremy Hunt

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Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has criticised Doctors and healthcare workers who have posted selfies with the hashtag #ImInWorkJeremy when they should be working.

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The sugar isn’t ‘hidden’ you’re just ignoring it, consumers told

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Food manufacturers aren’t actually ‘hiding’ any sugar in their food at all because that’s illegal as all hell, it was revealed today.

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