Health

Dieters told the most effective weight-loss method remains Photoshop

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The easiest way to lose weight and keep it off is with photoshop, according to a report published today.

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Aunt no longer giddy

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It has been revealed that, due to medical advancements, the well-known giddy aunt is no longer giddy, leading to consternation amongst users of the popular idiom.

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People who want to see the Donald Trump sex tape told to seek urgent psychiatric help

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The government has been warned that mental health provision is unlikely to be able to cope if the Donald Trump sex tape is released.

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Monster Munch actually shaped like the head of Cthulhu, confirm Walkers

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Walkers crisps have ended speculation on what Monster Munch are supposed to be shaped like by confirming they’re actually the head of their demonic master Cthulhu.

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Study finds nation’s definition of healthy eating appears to be ‘not chips’

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An analysis of Facebook food photos posted in the first week of January suggests that the majority of Brits tend to define a healthy meal as ‘not chips’.

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Missing our NHS A&E target clearly means it’s time to change that target, insists Jeremy Hunt

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Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has explained that the process of changing a target when you don’t meet it, is a key part of the government’s love of targets.

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People saying Theresa May in denial about NHS crisis are in denial about Theresa May not giving a shit

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People claiming that Theresa May is in denial about the NHS crisis have been accused of being in denial about Theresa May not giving a shit.

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NHS attempts to make front pages by taking part in drug-fuelled sex romp

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In a desperate attempt to make the front pages of the national newspapers, the NHS has taken part in a drug-fuelled sex romp.

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What the fuck is a ‘detox’? asks your liver

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Your liver reckons that if you think you need a ‘January detox diet’ then you probably didn’t listen during Biology lessons at school.

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Bastards call for end to office ‘cake culture’

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Bastards have criticised ‘workplace cake culture’ saying it contributes to being happy and making work tolerable.

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