Health

Mum sick of so-called ‘experts’ telling her children not to eat button batteries

Thumbnail image for Mum sick of so-called ‘experts’ telling her children not to eat button batteries

Brighton Mum Eleanor Gay has hit out against medical advice of the potentially deadly risk of children eating button batteries.

Read the full article →

Cocaine users seek assurance new plastic notes are BPA-free

Thumbnail image for Cocaine users seek assurance new plastic notes are BPA-free

Users of coca-based lifestyle products are demanding to know if the UK’s new plastic bank notes contain bisphenol-a (BPA).

Read the full article →

Family forced to abandon bathroom to massive spider

Thumbnail image for Family forced to abandon bathroom to massive spider

A Bristol family’s long-running war against a massive spider has taken a turn for the worst as they were forced last night to cede the bathroom to the arachnid in order to shore up their defences in the rest of the house.

Read the full article →

Hillary Clinton ‘medically fit for presidency’ despite being crushed by falling house

Thumbnail image for Hillary Clinton ‘medically fit for presidency’ despite being crushed by falling house

Hillary Clinton has insisted that she’s medically fit for the Presidency despite being squashed by a falling house.

Read the full article →

Concerned junior doctors offer to help Jeremy Hunt secure his NHS lapel pin

Thumbnail image for Concerned junior doctors offer to help Jeremy Hunt secure his NHS lapel pin

Some doctors have kindly offered to assist Jeremy Hunt to dress properly.

Read the full article →

Junior doctors call for seven-day Tory government

Thumbnail image for Junior doctors call for seven-day Tory government

Junior doctors have called for the establishment of a true seven-day a week Tory government.

Read the full article →

Pamela Anderson declares porn for losers after people stop paying her to do it

Thumbnail image for Pamela Anderson declares porn for losers after people stop paying her to do it

15-times Playboy cover model Pamela Anderson has renounced porn after noticing she no longer gets paid for it.

Read the full article →

Cut what you like, I’m about to get an extra £350m a week, says NHS

Thumbnail image for Cut what you like, I’m about to get an extra £350m a week, says NHS

The NHS has said that the draconian budget cuts revealed today are ‘no biggie’ because the health service will be swimming in cash once Britain leaves the EU.

Read the full article →

Obesity plan working, says government of nation glued to programme about cakes

Thumbnail image for Obesity plan working, says government of nation glued to programme about cakes

The government is delighted with the success of its obesity plan as only 11.2 million viewers returned for a seventh series of the Great British Bake Off.

Read the full article →

Team GB superheroes to staff weekend NHS

Thumbnail image for Team GB superheroes to staff weekend NHS

Team GB Olympians will be drafted in to provide emergency cover for the new 7-day NHS on returning home later today.

Read the full article →