Health

E-cigarette manufacturers celebrate as non-smoking teens found to be addicted

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The holy grail of a highly addictive product that can be legally sold to teenagers has been reached, according to new studies on e-cigarette use today.

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Doctors discover new eyesight disorder amongst parents of obese children

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Doctors have uncovered a new link between people having fat kids, and their inability to gauge the size of something standing right in front of them.

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Man left confused by cotton bud after being told not to put it in his ear

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A Northampton man was left bemused this morning after being told that cotton buds should not be put inside the ear.

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Breastfeeding linked to feeling of superiority

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A long-term study has linked breastfeeding to an increased sense of superiority amongst mothers.

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NHS to apologise for only ‘almost’ killing Nigel Farage

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Nigel Farage, in his memoirs, has claimed that the NHS ‘almost killed’ him when he developed Testicular cancer as a young man.

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Massive queues reported for Tesco bananas containing ‘four hour erection’ spider

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After Tesco confirmed a batch of their bananas contained a spider whose bite is capable of giving a man a four-hour erection, queues began forming around stores everywhere.

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Women demand equal right to die as prematurely as men

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Women have said that in the age of equality, they should be able to die as prematurely as any man.

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Millions of rulers feared missing after publication of penis size survey

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Millions of rulers, tape measures, and other length measurement devices are feared missing following the publication of a British survey on average penis sizes.

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No one is meant to be that colour, people with fake tan told

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People with fake tan have been told that human beings are definitely never supposed to be that colour.

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We have some of our best ideas whilst smoking crack, insist right-wing economists

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After one of George Osborne’s economic advisers was caught on camera smoking crack, economists everywhere have said you shouldn’t knock it until you’ve tried it.

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