Environment

Theresa May downgraded to Category One Prime Minister

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Theresa May has been downgraded to a Category One Prime Minister and is expected to fizzle out shortly, according to reports.

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Wheat farmers told to watch out for ‘wild Theresa Mays’ as harvest season approaches

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With harvest season beginning, farmers throughout the country have been warned to remain vigilant for errant Theresa Mays roaming their wheat-fields.

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India urged to start giving monsoons friendly Western names in hope the world might start noticing them

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As monsoon rains in India, Bangladesh and Nepal leave 1,200 dead and 40 million affected, the Indian Government have announced that it’s time to start naming weather systems to gain coverage by Western news agencies.

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Barack Obama demands to see Donald Trump’s hurricane donation long form receipt

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Barack Obama is ‘sceptical’ of Donald Trumps claim to have given $1m of his own money to flood relief, and is calling on him to release the ‘long form’ receipt.

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Hurricane Trump continues to cause devastation

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Hurricane Trump is continuing to wreak chaos and devastation in the US.

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Hurricane Harvey declares President Trump a disaster

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Hurricane Harvey has declared that President Trump is a disaster likely to cause massive amounts of damage to everyone caught in his path.

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Industrial grade skunk now Britain’s most popular picnic essential

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Industrial-strength marijuana has overtaken more traditional ingredients in British summer picnics as the number one essential, experts confirmed today.

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North Korea claims responsibility for blocking out sun in US

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A day after the US had the sun blocked out for several terrifying hours North Korea has claimed responsibility for the act.

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Nuclear War ‘might hit house prices’, warns report

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Global Thermonuclear War might push homeowners across the South of England into negative equity, reports have warned today.

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Other countries secretly jealous of British weather

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Other countries with their ‘heat waves’ and ‘horrifying 40-degree temperatures’ are secretly jealous of Britain’s steady August drizzle.

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