Environment

EU to blame for European dust coming over here and ruining Britain’s sky, insists UKIP

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UKIP has laid the blame for the murky UK skies squarely at the feet of the EU, for allowing European dust to wander across the border unchecked.

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Sky a funny colour confirms absolutely everyone on Facebook

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Literally everyone on Facebook has confirmed that the sky is currently a funny colour.

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Badger fancies its chances against UKIP leader

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After hearing that new UKIP leader Henry Bolton thinks he could kill a badger with his bare hands, badgers everywhere have suggested they fancy their chances.

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Government demands weather forecasters should make their storm warnings more patriotic and optimistic

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The British government have told meteorologists to simply think more positively and optimistically when issuing forecasts ahead of an impending storm.

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Hurricane Ophelia will kill us all, insists Michael Fish

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Michael Fish has stepped out of retirement to issue a serious warning about hurricane Ophelia.

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Donald Trump promotes US energy production through burning of exciting new substance called ‘coal’

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After learning about a revolutionary new energy source called coal, Donald Trump is reportedly keen to promote its use through taxpayer subsidies.

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Wales screwed as solar power named fastest growing source of energy

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A new report by the International Energy Agency suggests with solar power dominating future energy that prospects are bleak for the Welsh, whose country receives approximately twenty three and a half hours of rainfall every day.

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Donald Trump ‘doing his bit’ for Irma victims with 50% discount on MAGA hats for anyone with Florida zip code

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President Trump has told America that he is doing everything he can to help Florida residents struck by Hurricane Irma, by offering discounted access to Trump branded paraphernalia.

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Monster fatberg named Foreign Secretary

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In a surprising cabinet reshuffle, the 250-tonne monster fatberg found in a London sewer has been named Foreign Secretary.

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God to read thoughts and prayers once He’s finished destroying Florida

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God has received your thought and/or prayer and will read it once he’s wiped out Florida.

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