Environment

It’s still hot, confirms great Facebook weather sage

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A great and powerful sage of weather has used to Facebook to confirm to friends and associates that it is still hot.

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Some of England’s heatwave “should belong to Scotland” demands Nicola Sturgeon

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Nicola Sturgeon attacked England last night for sweltering under a heatwave while Scotland makes do with second-rate weather.

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Ducks definitely planning something

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Those ducks in your local park are definitely up to something, reports today have suggested.

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Trump bored of women and looking to fuck the environment instead

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President Trump has decided to move his sexual focus from women to the actual air that we breathe.

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Trump announces ‘Donald’s Ark’ to allay fears of climate change disaster

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Donald Trump has unveiled a huge ship as his answer to mounting concerns that pulling out of the Paris climate accord could result in environmental catastrophe.

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Trump pulls out of Round Earth accord

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Donald Trump has today withdrawn the United States from an international accord agreeing that the world isn’t flat.

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Thrushes demand vaginal infections be renamed ‘Danny Dyer’

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Songbirds have demanded vaginal infections be renamed after Danny Dyer as he’s an irritating c***.

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Human race encouraged to enjoy their final Easter free from crippling radiation poisoning

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Political and religious leaders worldwide are urging every human being to make the most of the last Easter they will experience before the inevitable and devastating nuclear war between North Korea and the United States.

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Jabba the Hutt denies sexual harassment charge

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Businessman, commenter and media personality Jabba the Hutt has denied allegations of sexual harassment against Princess Leia this afternoon.

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Glasgow sets new record after experiencing weather from all four seasons in under forty minutes

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Glasgow has set a new record for the speed it has experienced all four seasons today.

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