Environment

Storm surge threatens coastal areas with massive waves of immigration metaphors

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Low-lying areas of the UK risk being swamped by a tidal wave of immigration metaphors, it has emerged.

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Scottish weather described as horrendous, unendurable and quite mild for the time of year

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Up to eight inches of snow fell in Scotland overnight, leaving workers wondering if they’ll need a jacket to go to Greggs this lunchtime.

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Oh Jesus, snow – what do we do now, England asks

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Much of England is in a state of terrified confusion after undergoing a light fall of snow last night.

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Brexiters call for an end to free movement of weather

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Leading members of the Brexit campaign have today called upon the Prime Minister to make ending the free movement of weather across Europe a major part of the government’s negotiations strategy for leaving the EU.

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Iceberg insists it can thrive on its own after winning referendum to leave Antarctica

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One of the ten biggest icebergs ever recorded is planning to leave Antarctica immediately after comprehensively winning a referendum on the matter.

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Yorkshire earthquake causes millions of pounds of improvements to Scarborough

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Scarborough has been rocked by an earthquake which caused millions in improvements overnight.

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December 2015 wakes up in the shower

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In a stunning last-minute plot twist, December 2015 has woken up in the shower revealing everything that happened in the last 12 months to have been just a dream.

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All storms to be named after Victoria Wood characters

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As storm Miss Babs hits Britain, the Met Office has confirmed it will be followed by storm Kimberley, storm Freda and Hurricane Overall.

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Vampires celebrating their longest day of the year

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Lords of the un-dead are celebrating the winter solstice, their longest day of the year.

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Jeremy Corbyn goes into hibernation

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Jeremy Corbyn has been put in a cardboard box packed with straw to sleep until spring.

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