Environment

Female Panda turns 37, declared ‘over the hill’ by celebrity magazine

Thumbnail image for Female Panda turns 37, declared ‘over the hill’ by celebrity magazine

The world’s oldest female panda has been described as looking ‘tired, flabby and past her best’ by a wretched-yet-popular magazine.

Read the full article →

Last Tamagotchi dies in captivity

Thumbnail image for Last Tamagotchi dies in captivity

The last Tamagotchi in captivity has died, meaning the species is now officially extinct.

Read the full article →

New theory claims Stonehenge was ancient meeting point for bellends

Thumbnail image for New theory claims Stonehenge was ancient meeting point for bellends

A stunning new theory proposes that Stonehenge was little more than a great place for annoying tossers to congregate.

Read the full article →

Pope urges mankind to address climate change after God tells him ‘No’

Thumbnail image for Pope urges mankind to address climate change after God tells him ‘No’

Pope Francis will call for swift action to protect the Earth and fight global warming, after God told him He couldn’t be arsed to help.

Read the full article →

Carefree early summer now over, claim Wasps

Thumbnail image for Carefree early summer now over, claim Wasps

The carefree early summer that involved laugher, barbecues, ice cream in the park, and leaving all the windows open, has been replaced by abject terror as the first wasp wakes up.

Read the full article →

Reckless Shell boss chooses ‘full flush’ button when urinating

Thumbnail image for Reckless Shell boss chooses ‘full flush’ button when urinating

Irresponsible Shell CEO, Simon Williams, is engaged in a deadly game of Russian roulette with the environment, according to sources.

Read the full article →

Patagonian Toothfish should get their help from Patagoniland, UKIP tells Prince Charles

Thumbnail image for Patagonian Toothfish should get their help from Patagoniland, UKIP tells Prince Charles

After Prince Charles’ letters to the government were made public, UKIP have said that as first in line to the throne he should have more concern for indigenous British Toothfish.

Read the full article →

North Korea celebrates Earth Day by not turning lights on for 65th successive year

Thumbnail image for North Korea celebrates Earth Day by not turning lights on for 65th successive year

North Korea has celebrated Earth Day by not turning any lights on for the 23,774th day in a row.

Read the full article →

Successful Earth Day campaign delays inevitable global catastrophe, by a day

Thumbnail image for Successful Earth Day campaign delays inevitable global catastrophe, by a day

The successful ‘Earth Day’ campaign has led experts to predict that it has delayed an inevitable global environmental catastrophe, by a day.

Read the full article →

Giraffe hunter insists all mercy killings should be completed using bow and arrow

Thumbnail image for Giraffe hunter insists all mercy killings should be completed using bow and arrow

A hunter photographed posing with the giraffe she had just killed has said that all mercy killings should be undertaken with a high-velocity bow and arrow.

Read the full article →