Environment

UKIP calls for crackdown on immigrant sperm whales

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UKIP leader Nigel Farage has called on the Government to do more about sperm whales attempting to illegally enter the UK via rural beaches.

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Banksy claims credit for dead whales on Skegness beach

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Three dead whales washed up on Skegness beach are the latest work by Banksy, it has been revealed.

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White Walkers spotted in snowbound New York

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Reports of craggy, ice-blue warriors stalking the snowbound streets of New York are coming in this morning.

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Okay, let’s get the shortest day over with as quickly as possible, says everyone

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Everyone is determined to get the shortest day over with as quickly as possible.

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Reports of ‘Giant Rats’ in London leads to increased sales of Chainmail and +1 Longswords

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Reports of a poison-resistant breed of giant rat appearing in London has led to a spike in sales of chainmail, +1 longswords and potions of healing, retailers have confirmed.

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Minute’s silence to be held to commemorate extinction of the dinosaurs

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A one minute silence will be held next week to mark the 65 millionth anniversary of the death of the dinosaurs.

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We actually can’t stand swimming with sick people, say Dolphins

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Dolphins actually can’t stand swimming with sick people, they have confirmed today.

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Texan hipsters to open artisan oil refinery

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A group of Texan hipsters are to bring traditional hand-crafting skills and workmanship to the oil industry by opening an artisan refinery.

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Dangerous sports enthusiasts add eating bacon to the list

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Live-life-on-the-edge danger seekers have added eating bacon to the list of extreme sports today.

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Cows are a type of vegetable, insist drunk vegetarians

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Cows are totally a type of vegetable, drunk vegetarians have loudly insisted today.

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