Environment

Thrushes demand vaginal infections be renamed ‘Danny Dyer’

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Songbirds have demanded vaginal infections be renamed after Danny Dyer as he’s an irritating c***.

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Human race encouraged to enjoy their final Easter free from crippling radiation poisoning

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Political and religious leaders worldwide are urging every human being to make the most of the last Easter they will experience before the inevitable and devastating nuclear war between North Korea and the United States.

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Jabba the Hutt denies sexual harassment charge

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Businessman, commenter and media personality Jabba the Hutt has denied allegations of sexual harassment against Princess Leia this afternoon.

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Glasgow sets new record after experiencing weather from all four seasons in under forty minutes

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Glasgow has set a new record for the speed it has experienced all four seasons today.

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Rare tigers found behind Wetherspoons in Chelmsford

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A new breeding ground for the rare Indochinese tiger has been discovered behind the Wetherspoons in Chelmsford, by the bins.

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Man feeling a bit chilly declares it to be proof that global warming is hoax

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The scientific community has been rocked by the news that a man has proof that global warming is a hoax in the form of him feeling a little bit cold.

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Huge snowstorm to hit US is ‘Obama’s fault’ insists Donald Trump

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US President Donald Trump has taken to Twitter to accuse his predecessor Barack Obama of creating a huge snowstorm – Storm Stella – that is due to hit the northeast of the country later.

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Badgers announce cull of Government Ministers

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Badgers have pledged to bring the number of Government Ministers down to ‘manageable levels’ within five years.

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Check your privilege, Peacocks told

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Peacocks can’t understand the everyday reality of other birds because their iridescent purple feathers and flashy tails give them an unfair advantage.

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Labour accuses pigeons of attempting a soft coo

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Senior figures in the Labour Party have accused the pigeons on their windowsill of attempting a soft coo against Jeremy Corbyn.

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