Entertainment

Eurovision, Britain warned

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British social media users are warned to expect an ‘overwhelming tsunami of shite’ in their feeds as the annual festival of pretending to like awful pop rolls around again.

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Trump warns NRA: Everybody in London is Kung-Fu fighting

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Strict gun-control laws mean everyone in London is Kung-Fu fighting, and it’s frightening, President Trump has told the NRA convention.

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Nation left in shock as rapper proves to be poor socio-political pundit

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semi-professional ass-hat Kanye West has left the American public reeling with his comments that “Slavery for 400 years … that sounds like a choice”.

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Marvel to release “Where’s Hawkeye?” Infinity War spinoff book

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Comics fans will be invited to try and find the archer superhero amongst the literally hundreds of characters who appear in the film.

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Which Infinity War character are YOU?

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Thanos is coming…are you hero enough to stop him?

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Man takes compassionate leave after seeing infinity War

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Simon Williams has told his employers he ‘doesn’t feel so good and doesn’t want to go to work” after seeing Infinity War at the local cinema last night.

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Avengers: Infinity War – The NewsThump review

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A directionless mess of incoherent plot points and characters who appear and are quickly forgotten make for this year’s most disappointing – oh, sorry, we’re talking about the Trump White House again.

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ABBA announces release of death metal album

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Scandinavian quartet ABBA have today announced they will be releasing new music for the first time in over three decades in the form of a crushing new death metal album.

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Britain’s Got Talent singer with four-minute, tragic video package turns out to be shit

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Britain’s Got Talent has made something of a faux pas after telling everyone the tragic backstory of someone who turned out to shit.

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Lisa Stansfield finally locates her baby

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Lisa Stansfield has finally found the baby she mislaid in the early 1990s, according to reports.

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