Entertainment

Anti-establishment politician all butthurt at not being offered a knighthood

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A self-described anti-establishment politician has taken to the press to sulk about not getting a knighthood today.

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Yoda ruining carol singing again

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“Three Kings of Orient, we are, hmn?” doesn’t scan and it’s putting all the other singers off, Yoda has been told today.

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Ranting man-child pretending the original Ocean’s Eleven meant something to him

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Some bloke on the Internet is pissed off because some women will do a film now.

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Thousands of pictures of sheds found on Jeremy Corbyn’s computer

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Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn today stands accused of surfing the Internet for pictures of ‘extreme’ garden accessories on his work computer.

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‘Can’t you make it a bit harder for us?’ ask satirists

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Britain’s satirical news writers are increasingly complaining of job dissatisfaction in the wake of the latest clusterfuck resignation scandal in Theresa May’s government.

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Celebrities from Strictly ‘actually never want to see a f*cking dancefloor ever again’

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Strictly Come Dancing contestants who promised they would “keep dancing” were lying through their holes.

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Royston Vasey documentary a reminder of when Britain was great, insist Brexiters

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Royston Vasey is a perfect example of how Britain will flourish post-Brexit, triumphal Brexiters have claimed.

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Simon Cowell to lead search for Britain’s next political scapegoats

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Simon Cowell is preparing a new ITV show to find the UK’s next political scapegoats it has been announced. With the Daily Mail clearly running out of ideas by turning on Tory MPs. In a statement, an ITV spokesmen said, “This is something we’re really excited about. The public is starting to see through the […]

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The Apprentice final damages the show’s otherwise impeccable credibility

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The final episode of The Apprentice has brought shame upon the jumped-up game show, according to viewers.

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Diane Abbott refuses to back second referendum because she can’t count that far

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The Shadow Home Secretary has refused to back a second EU referendum because ‘big numbers like that make her head go funny’ this morning.

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