Entertainment

I’d watch the shit out of a Gorilla channel, Trump confirms

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A Gorilla channel is a fucking great idea, Donald Trump has told White House aides.

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Gorilla laughs off story he’d be stupid enough to watch a ‘Donald Trump channel’

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A gorilla yesterday laughed off Internet rumours that he would be in any way interested in watching a ‘Donald Trump television channel’.

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Injured and malnourished family rescued from quick game of Boxing Day Monopoly

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Emergency services were today called out to a middle-class family home in Surrey, following reports by neighbours of “shouting and a funny smell”.

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Your nuclear button just looks bigger because of your tiny hands, Trump told

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President Trump’s claim that his nuclear button is ‘much bigger’ has been debunked after it emerged he just has tiny hands.

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YouTuber Logan Paul finds metaphor for rest of his career

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A YouTube video logger has come under fire for filming a dead body representing his career going forward.

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Poll of end of year polls decides the best end of year poll of the year

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The results of a poll of the best end of year polls of the year will be announced later today.

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Santa chooses the blue-nosed reindeer

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Father Christmas has chosen the blue-nosed reindeer, gone back to bed and believed whatever he wants to believe.

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Anti-establishment politician all butthurt at not being offered a knighthood

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A self-described anti-establishment politician has taken to the press to sulk about not getting a knighthood today.

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Yoda ruining carol singing again

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“Three Kings of Orient, we are, hmn?” doesn’t scan and it’s putting all the other singers off, Yoda has been told today.

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Ranting man-child pretending the original Ocean’s Eleven meant something to him

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Some bloke on the Internet is pissed off because some women will do a film now.

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