Entertainment

Men with two smallest cocks in the world escalate international dick-waving contest

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Donald Trump and Kim Jong-Un have escalated their risible dick-waving contest today.

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All three million previous adaptations of Pride and Prejudice were shite, insist producers of new series

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Despite the existence of numerous film and television adaptations of Jane Austen’s novel, the team behind Poldark have insisted that theirs will be the only good one.

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Games Workshop sued for $62.5m or one Warhammer starter set

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A Florida man is suing Games Workshop for US$62.5m or one starting Ultramarines army, ‘whichever is more’, according to reports today.

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Westeros NHS “Fucked”

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The NHS for Westeros has essentially collapsed.

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New government legislation will see Game of Thrones spoilers punishable by flogging

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New government legislation has suggested those who post Game of Thrones spoilers online, ahead of the regular broadcast time, should be beaten and publicly flogged.

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Tory Glastonbury a ‘brilliant’ punishment threat for teenage bad behaviour

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Grateful parents are hailing plans for a Tory Glastonbury as one of the most effective punishment threats for unruly teenagers in a generation.

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Lloyds of London record epic diss track in response to Kanye West lawsuit

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Lloyds of London have responded to a lawsuit issued by Kanye West in the time-honoured tradition of the venerable financial institution; by throwing down fierce rhymes over epic beats in what is thought to be the most devastating diss track to come out of the London Square Mile in years.

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Holographic Margaret Thatcher to make headline appearance at ‘Tory Glastonbury’

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Conservative legend Margaret Thatcher will be appearing in hologram form on the main stage at the forthcoming ‘Tory Glastonbury’ festival, it has been revealed.

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Jeremy Corbyn’s Edinburgh Fringe show to take down the government using the power of interpretive dance

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The Labour Party has confirmed that Jeremy Corbyn’s sold-out appearance at the Edinburgh Fringe is part of a broader strategy to blend politics and performance arts.

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Yazz shown the way down

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Top eighties pop star Yazz has given up on a lifetime of insisting that the only way is up after she was shown the way down earlier this week.

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