Entertainment

Barack Obama demands Donald Trump release which brand of toilet paper he uses

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Donald Trump is facing calls to confirm he uses Soft And Gentle after allegations he has alternative lavatory practices emerged overnight.

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Man who corrects factual errors in Internet jokes still inexplicably single

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A man who uses the comments threads of Internet jokes to correct factual errors still hopes one day to know the touch of a woman, according to people who know him.

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First victim of 2017 is ‘Saturday night TV’ as BBC tragically announces ‘Mrs Brown’s Boys’ chat show

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Comedy fans and lovers of weekend light entertainment shows are in mourning today after the BBC announced Mrs Brown is to front a live chat show on Saturday evenings on BBC One.

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New TV talent show begins search for anyone with a remotely original idea for a TV show

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A new TV show is to launch this weekend to begin the search for Britain’s hottest creator of TV show formats.

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Donald Trump responds to Meryl Streep’s criticism with grace and charm

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Donald Trump has reacted to criticism in exactly the manner one would expect from an American President.

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Chris Brown to try punching a MAN in the face for a change

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Woman beater and occasional musician, Chris Brown, is going to see how he fares in a fight with another man.

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And and Dec praised for success of their ‘post-truth’ boardgame

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Television’s Ant and Dec have been praised for their new board game where facts don’t matter, and players can choose to ignore the answers written by the liberal establishment elite.

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Baffled police beg ‘Sherlock’ writer to help by solving crimes in his spare time

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The well-known amateur criminologist and all-round genius Mr Mark Gatiss has offered to help baffled detectives in the Metropolitan Police clear up their list of unsolved crimes.

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Jools Holland returned to suspended animation

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The twelfth day of Christmas has been marked by the ceremonial return of Jools Holland to deep freeze until next Christmas.

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Nigel Farage biopic casts horrible little slug that won’t fuck off in lead role

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The much-mooted film about the life of Nigel Farage moved a step closer to reality after producers announced they’d cast a horrible little slug that won’t fuck off in the titular role.

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