Entertainment

Natasha Giggs keen to know who Celebrity Big Brother plays for

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After signing up to the new series of Celebrity Big Brother, Natasha Giggs today asked for confirmation of which club this big brother plays for before she decides whether to have an affair with him.

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West Ham loses bid for Olympic stadium to Michael McIntyre

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Evergreen comic Michael McIntyre has been named as the preferred bidder for the 2012 Olympic stadium, after fighting off fierce competition from West Ham football club, the 23rd Newnham Scout troop and a lady from Eastbourne with a lot of cats.

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TVs controlled by hand movement could prove frustrating for viewers of adult channels, warn critics

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Gesture controlled televisions that will allow users to flick through channels and adjust the volume using only their hand could prove to be a frustrating experience for viewers of adult movie channels, critics warned today.

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Nation collectively vomits at thought of Krankies swingers parties

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The nation collectively made sick come out of its nose this morning, after reports emerged of the swinging past of comedy duo the Krankies.

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Frozen Planet polar bears looking to branch out into theatre

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The polar bear stars of the BBC’s David Attenborough documentary Frozen Planet have announced that they are looking for an agent to take their special skills to the West End.

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Gok Wan to judge final of Met Police ‘Rioting Most Wanted’

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Scotland Yard has released a tantalising glimpse of the UK’s 213 ‘most wanted’ rioters, and is asking the public to phone in and judge them as part of Gok Wan’s new show ‘How to Look Good Castigated’.

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Simon Cowell wins X Factor for record 8th time

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Simon Cowell shocked morons everywhere last night by dramatically securing his eighth successive victory in ITV’s X Factor.

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Striking workers make Jeremy Clarkson counter offer of sword fight to the death

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After Jeremy Clarkson said he would happily see them shot in the street, striking workers have made an interesting counter offer to the BBC employee – a sword-fight to the death at a location of his choosing.

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John Major already ‘looking forward’ to Iron Lady sequel

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Sir John Major has said he is looking forward to the release of a sequel to ‘The Iron Lady’, the biopic of Margaret Thatcher that hits cinemas next month.

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Desperate Scousewives to address Euro financial crisis and Egyptian elections

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After their television debut last night on E4, producers of Desperate Scousewives have told viewers that next week the cast will be addressing the Euro financial crisis and the ongoing battle for democracy in Egypt.

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