Entertainment

MPs accuse CBeebies of pro-EU propaganda

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Dozens of furious MPs have accused BBC children’s television network CBeebies of anti-Brexit bias in its coverage.

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Insurance companies restrict Richard Hammond to riding ‘nothing faster than a space hopper’

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Richard Hammond will not be allowed to drive anything faster than a space hopper because he keeps crashing into things, producers have revealed.

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Motorbike should make ‘full recovery’ after being crashed by twat

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A motorbike is expected to make a full recovery after nearly being written off by a notorious bell-end.

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Nigel Farage to read a bedtime story on CBeebies

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Former UKIP leader Nigel Farage is set to follow in the footsteps of Tom Hardy and read a bedtime story on CBeebies.

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Heaven still blissfully ignorant of what is about to hit it as Chuck Berry dies

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Chuck Berry, who is responsible for pretty much everything you’ve ever danced to in your entire life, has died.

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The only British tapping at Trump Tower was me on Melania’s ass, confirms James Bond

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MI5 has confirmed they weren’t spying on Donald Trump because their agent was ‘too busy’ shagging his wife Melania.

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Rupert Murdoch launches bid to take over people’s dreams

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Media mogul Rupert Murdoch has announced that he intends to launch a takeover bid for people’s dreams.

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George Osborne to become editor of Razzle

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Ex-Chancellor and twice Hi-Vis Jacket Wearer of the Year has been appointed the new editor of popular pornography magazine Razzle.

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Everyone pretending to like Guinness

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Widespread reports are emerging today to suggest that everyone is currently pretending to enjoy pints of Guinness.

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Leprechauns bastards, warn Irish

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International revellers hoping to befriend a Leprechaun on St Patrick’s day have been warned to steer clear of the vicious little bastards.

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