Entertainment

Controversial character ‘Zac Snyder’ a terrible mistake, admits DC Comics

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The controversial ‘Zac Snyder’ character was a bigger mistake than Scrappy-Doo will be killed off in a future edition of the Batman comic, DC have confirmed.

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New curtains mean A-ha can finally stop sun always shining on TV

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Pop group A-ha have revealed that a new pair of curtains in their living room have been a boon when it comes to watching television with bright sunshine outdoors.

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Linkin Park fail to set off airport metal detector

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Airport security guards have confirmed that Heavy, the new single by Linkin Park, contains no detectable metal whatsoever.

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Paul Nuttall’s autobiography to be a Choose Your Own Adventure book

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If you want to be leader of UKIP, turn to page 23, if you want to battle a goblin for ten gold coins, turn to page 144.

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Satirists now held to higher standards than politicians

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People writing jokes on the Internet are now expected to be more accurate and honest than people running entire countries, we can reveal.

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It’s not the winning, it’s the taking part, Wenger tells team

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So long as you try your best that’s the most important thing, Arsene Wenger has told his team this morning.

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Celebrities should keep their opinions to themselves, say supporters of reality TV star Donald Trump

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Fans of reality TV star Donald Trump and radio host Nigel Farage have told celebrities whose views they don’t like to keep their mouths shut.

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Warhammer Valentines are the most romantic, say gamers

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What women really want is a Valentine saying “Blood Angels are red, Ultramarines are Blue”, according to the nations’ wargamers today.

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Nation’s children to be sent to bed early so Mummy can hungrily lust over Tom Hardy in peace

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Following the announcement that Tom Hardy will be reading the CBeebies bedtime story this evening, mothers nationwide are reportedly adapting their children’s bedtime routine to ensure they get to have the heartthrob all to themselves.

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David Bowie wins five Grammys because nothing worthwhile has happened since he died

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David Bowie won five posthumous Grammy awards last night as the music industry hasn’t really done much interesting in the last year since he died.

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