Entertainment

Peter Kay fans to save money on tickets by remembering things for themselves

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Peter Kay fans who have struggled to get tickets for his new tour have consoled themselves by simply going on their own nostalgia binge.

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Prue Leith expected to accidentally tweet the name of Paul Hollywood’s mistress at some point today

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Bake Off fans are closely monitoring Prue Leith’s Twitter account in anticipation of her accidentally revealing the third party behind the break-up of Paul Hollywood’s marriage.

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Son refuses to believe Dad’s assertion that there was a time when Morrissey wasn’t a twat

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A teenage boy has poured scorn on his father’s assertion that there was a time that popular singer Morrissey wasn’t a massive twat.

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Disappointment as extra-large piece of Chicken Tikka revealed as piece of tomato

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There was disappointment for a Berkshire family on Saturday as it was revealed that an extra-large piece of Chicken Tikka in a Chicken Tikka Masala was actually just a piece of tomato.

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‘More work to be done’ on driverless car technology after test drive fails to kill Jeremy Clarkson

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Manufacturers of driverless cars have admitted that there are still some flaws in the safety technology after one of their test models failed to take out Jeremy Clarkson.

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Charles Manson was actually a pretty nice guy, insists Morrissey

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Morrissey has today leapt to the defence of a rather pleasant chap who had the misfortune to have been convicted of orchestrating murder.

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Alderaan truther insists planetary destruction was work of the Rebel Alliance

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Alderaan was destroyed by the Rebel Alliance to turn people against the Empire, truther Sy-Mon Snootles has claimed in a controversial new book.

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Angela Merkel promises Germany strong and stable governm… oh shit

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Angela Merkel has promised Germany strong and stable government in the natio- oh Christ she’s got less of a mandate than Theresa May.

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Aled Jones denies walking in the air with his ding dong merrily on high

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Fully-grown choirboy, Aled Jones, has strenuously denied allegations that he might have walked in the air while up to no good.

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Parker off Thunderbirds appointed new leader of Scottish Labour Party

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Scottish Labour have denied appointing a Westminster puppet after Parker off Thunderbirds was announced as their new leader.

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