Entertainment

Entire Celebrity Big Brother cast potential UKIP candidates, claims Farage

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Nigel Farage has revealed that he is considering all contestants in this year’s Celebrity Big Brother as potential Parliamentary candidates for UKIP.

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Fox News to continue broadcasting made-up satire in honour of Charlie Hebdo

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Following criticism of its report on Birmingham in the UK, Fox News has pledged to continue broadcasting made-up stories designed to entertain viewers in honour of those murdered in the Charlie Hebdo attack.

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Bill Gates successfully creates drinkable water from Justin Bieber albums

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Microsoft founder and philanthropist Bill Gates has given hope to drought affected areas by creating drinking water out of total shit, including the Justin Bieber back catalogue.

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Bicycle that broke Bono’s arm given New Year Honour

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The bicycle that broke U2 frontman Bono’s arm in 2014 has been awarded an MBE after it was revealed this week that the 54 year-old may never play guitar again.

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Sony hackers urged to take offence at Adam Sandler’s next film

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The group behind the Sony hack which has led to the cancellation of The Interview, have been asked to take a closer look at anything Adam Sandler is working on.

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BBC to bring in extra props for Brand vs Farage battle

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Denying accusations of ‘dumbing down’, the BBC will be supplying pedestals and padded pugil sticks for tonight’s debate in Canterbury between UKIP’s Nigel Farage and comedian Russell Brand.

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The Sun accused of hypocrisy for continuing to ‘report on criminals’

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The Sun has been accused of rank hypocrisy for reporting on ‘crime’, despite having employed several criminals.

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Poll of end of year polls decides the best end of year poll of the year

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The results of a poll of the best end of year polls of the year will be announced later today.

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James Nesbitt to solve Madeleine McCann case ‘within a week’

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UK police have enlisted tough-guy actor James Nesbitt to help solve the Madeleine McCann case by beating the shit out of all the suspects.

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Paddington Bear film forced to cut mutual masturbation scene

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StudioCanal has voluntarily cut a controversial scene of mutual masturbation from the new Paddington Bear film.

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