Entertainment

Heroin addicts regret recreational use of Blur back catalogue

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Rueful heroin addict Simon Williams, 46, has described his past use of Blur’s music as ‘part of me growing up’.

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People who post Game of Thrones spoilers the new paedophiles

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People who spoil your enjoyment of Game of Thrones are worse than kiddy fiddlers, according to Twitter this morning.

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M. Night Shyamalan releases horror film featuring Michael Gove’s ‘Wham Rap!’

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Last night, M. Night Shyamalan released the first trailer for his highly anticipated film ‘Terrifying People in Terrifyingly High Places’ featuring Michael Gove performing the ‘Wham Rap!’.

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Coldplay’s Chris Martin has massive steak for breakfast

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Chris Martin has eaten almost two pounds of extremely rare steak for breakfast this morning, according to reports close to the Coldplay frontman.

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Noah movie too different to our made up Noah story, claim Christian groups

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Hollywood blockbuster Noah is to be edited before release after Christian groups insisted that the made up story about Noah’s ark was different to their made up story about Noah’s ark.

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Farage ‘turned down’ Doctor Who role over requirement to be nice to aliens

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UKIP leader Nigel Farage allegedly turned down the chance to succeed Matt Smith as the latest incarnation of the Doctor, after insisting his version of the Doctor would adopt a zero tolerance attitude to aliens.

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Netflix to start making recommendations based on whether you have company

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Netflix’s complex recommendation engine will now be able to determine if someone is sat next to you, presenting only publicly acceptable shows and movies instead of the dross you normally watch.

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Putin picks up Oscar for ‘Best Invasion’

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Russian leader Vladimir Putin has seen off the competition by staging the best military occupation of a sovereign state since the illegal invasion of Iraq.

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House of Cards spoilers more harmful than second hand smoke, claim office workers

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Office workers across the country have claimed the risk of exposure to House of Cards spoilers is far worse than the risk they faced when colleagues used to light up at the desk next to them.

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Daniel Radcliffe willing to get off with Emma Watson if JK Rowling fancies a re-write

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Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe has admitted that he would be willing to endure a love scene with Emma Watson if JK Rowling fancied re-writing the end of the boy wizard series.

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