Entertainment

It’s not me, Michael Le Vell is the actor who plays me, insists Kevin Webster

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Weatherfield mechanic Kevin Webster has furiously denied any involvement in wrongdoing after the actor who plays him in Coronation Street, Michael Le Vell, was charged with a string of sex offences.

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Testicle recovering well following removal of Jeremy Kyle

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A testicle which underwent emergency surgery to remove Jeremy Kyle, is reportedly recovering well in hospital following the routine procedure.

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Dappy community service to ‘not make music’

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N-Dubz ‘star’ Dappy has been found guilt of assault and affray and will serve his community service by releasing no music whatsoever for a 6-month period.

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Stargazing Live ‘needs more gazing at celebrities’

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In a move bound to shock the scientific community, the BBC has announced that Brian Cox will be replaced by Bruce Forsyth in future editions of ‘Stargazing’.

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Duchess of Cambridge portrait artist denies Jennifer Aniston infatuation

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The artist behind the Duchess of Cambridge’s first official portrait has denied he has actually painted Friends star Jennifer Aniston.

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Lance Armstrong to use appearance on Oprah Winfrey show to deny appearance on Oprah Winfrey show

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Saddle frequenting drug-taker, Lance Armstrong, is this morning preparing to deny his appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show during his reported appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show, according to reports.

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Old man releases awful record

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Ageing pop fans are beside themselves this morning, following the release of a dreadful record by an old man.

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Jim Davidson arrest nominated for comedy award

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Celebrity misogynistic racist homophobe Jim Davidson has brightened up Operation Yewtree by being arrested.

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NRA protests screenings of ‘The Impossible’ for not showing how to subdue tsunamis with guns

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Gun owners have reacted angrily to a film about the 2004 Tsunami, which fails to show guns being used to solve the problem.

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Kraftwerk’s ‘Karaoke and Fanta Tour’ set to anger purists

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German electro pioneers Kraftwerk are to risk alienating a section of their fan-base by performing Karaoke versions of assorted eighties hits while consuming large quantities of the fizzy orange drink Fanta.

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