Entertainment

Elderly rich white expat shocks nation by coming out in support of Brexit

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77-year-old former Beatle Ringo Starr has come out in support of Brexit, finally putting an end to the belief that all elderly rich white men voted the same way.

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‘IT’ remake triggers huge rise in people pretending to be scared of clowns

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Research published earlier today revealed a sharp rise in the number of people who are all of a sudden completely terrified by clowns – even though they’ve never, ever mentioned it before to anyone.

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Labour urged to oppose the government as hard as their own coalition partners do

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After the DUP defeated a government motion by voting against them, Labour has been told this whole ‘opposition’ thing might be worth a try.

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‘Lego Masters’ reaches climax as finalists tackle Legoland Windsor queue

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Channel 4’s hit ‘Lego Masters’ show presents its finalists with the ultimate challenge this week – to complete the queue for a Legoland Windsor ride before the hour-long programme ends.

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“I did not have sexual relations with myself” insists Ted Cruz

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Ted Cruz has denied having had a sexual encounter with ‘that man’ after liking pornography on Twitter overnight.

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Public opinion of Paul Hollywood improves after photo of him dressed as Nazi emerges

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The most hated man in television has had an unexpected rise in public opinion after a photo of him dressed as one of Hitler’s officers was made public.

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EastEnders vies for Best Gas Explosion, Shooting, Arson, Ambulance Crash, Pretend Brain Tumour Episode award

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EastEnders is the favourite to pick up the award for the most realistic storyline featuring a gas explosion, a shooting, arson, an ambulance crash and a pretend brain tumour.

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Commuters express concern as Thomas the Tank Engine falls to the power of Chaos

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Residents of the island of Sodor have expressed concern today after Thomas the Tank Engine was corrupted by demons of the Warp and pledged his soul to the Ruinous Powers.

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I’m just so in love with the prospect of a lifetime of wealth and privilege, admits Meghan Markle

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In her first major interview as Prince Harry’s girlfriend, actress Megan Markle has said that she is ‘so in love with the concept of a lifetime of wealth and privilege’.

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“Ow much for ze vagina?” enquires stereotypical French magazine

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A French magazine has had to pay 100,000 Euros after publishing photos of the Duchess of Cambridge’s breasts, prompting them to ask for “ze full menu”.

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