Entertainment

Britons buying Euromillions tickets whilst they still can

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British Lottery vendors are expecting a rush on Euromillions tickets whilst they’re still available, they have announced today.

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People stuck in Glastonbury traffic unaware this will be highlight of weekend

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Thousands of people sat in stationary cars miles from Glastonbury have been warned that this is the most comfortable they’ll be for the next five days.

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Bollywood megastar Salman Khan pretty confident being actor is ‘just like being raped’

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Bollywood megastar Salman Khan has insisted he knows exactly how it feels to be sexually assaulted after the gruelling nature of ‘playing make believe’ for his new film.

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Study finds people only go to Glastonbury to tell people they went to Glastonbury

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Research has confirmed those who attend Glastonbury festival do so just to brag about it.

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Russian athletes to appeal Olympic ban just as soon as they ‘come down’

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Russian athletes are expected to appeal their ban for wholesale doping when they come down, we can report.

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They just don’t get it, BBC presenters STILL not wearing poppies

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A shock investigation has shown that BBC presenters were still not wearing poppies in May; a full six months on from Remembrance Sunday.

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Man believes people give a shit about his ‘7 songs that stayed with him’

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A man has carefully collated his ‘7 songs that have stayed with him’ on Facebook over the last week in the mistaken belief that anyone gives a shit.

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Taylor Swift already trying to think of a rhyme for ‘Hiddleston’

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Pop singer Taylor Swift is already trying to think of rhymes for ‘Hiddleston’ in preparation for the song she’ll write about their messy breakup.

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Satan lays on massive storm at Download to commemorate Black Sabbath’s last tour

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The Download Festival was hit by a massive storm after Satan joined in commemorations of Black Sabbath’s last ever tour.

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Blair and Major to release newly recorded version of ‘Unchained Melody’

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Tony Blair and John Major have teamed up to give apocalyptic, hyperbolic warnings about leaving the EU and record a new version of ‘Unchained Melody’.

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