Entertainment

Conservatives pledge referendum on Eurovision membership

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David Cameron has this morning announced a referendum on Britain’s continued involvement in the Eurovision song contest after 2016.

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True face of Shakespeare revealed as Bobby Ball

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A three hundred year old botany book has revealed that William Shakespeare was identical to comedian Bobby Ball.

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Tories to replace BBC licence fee with Kickstarter campaign

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David Cameron has announced that the Tories will scrap the TV licence fee and the BBC will instead be funded by a Kickstarter campaign.

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Woman wears dress

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A woman yesterday wore a dress. She is famous. It was somewhere glamorous.

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Olly Murs to present ITV Strike Xtra tomorrow on ITV2

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Olly Murs will provide backstage coverage of the ITV strike in tomorrow’s episode of ITV Strike Xtra on ITV2, according to sources at the station.

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Kay Burley becomes self-aware

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Sky news reporter Kay Burley has become self-aware according to reports today.

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Johnny Depp now completely shit

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Hollywood hunk Johnny Depp is now officially completely shit, according to recent reports.

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Nobodies enter house no-one cares about to do nothing of importance

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A bunch of people who you don’t know have entered a house you don’t care about to do things of no importance, reports revealed this morning.

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New Indiana Jones film to feature search for the missing Labour Pledge Stone

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Steven Spielberg has announced that a new Indiana Jones film will centre on a search for the Pledge Stone unveiled by Ed Miliband last week.

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Jeremy Vine already tripping his tits off

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Veteran election reporter Jeremy Vine has embarked on his usual pre-election broadcast ritual by taking a load of drugs and hallucinating maps of the UK, pie-charts and various other election-themed visages.

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