Education

Katie Price to tell Oxford Union all about exploiting simpletons

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Katie Price will address students at the Oxford Union and give them an insight into the business of effectively exploiting simpletons for financial gain.

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Children’s packed lunches lack couscous, warn foodie experts

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Experts in fiddly food have slammed the low couscous content in Britain’s school lunchboxes, and claim some children have been sent to school without olives.

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Parents support teacher’s right to hit everyone else’s children

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Nearly half of all parents of secondary school children believe corporal punishment such as the cane should be reintroduced for other people’s children, if they can’t be as well behaved as their own, a survey suggests.

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Only the children of people on benefits play truant, concludes man in charge of country

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The man who is in charge of the country, David Cameron, has concluded that the parents of children who regularly fail to attend school are definitely on benefits and must be punished.

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Engineering graduates keen to know if you want fries with that

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Nearly a quarter of all UK engineering graduates this morning said their degrees had proved worthless, before asking if you were eating in or taking it away.

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Free schools to allow religious groups to carry out state-funded brainwashing

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Faith groups that have been allowed to set up free schools that are independent of local authorities and don’t have to follow the national curriculum, have welcomed the opportunity to force their religious doctrine on pupils at the taxpayer’s expense.

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1 in 4 primary school teachers to be issued with fake beard and hip flask

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As a report reveals that less than one in four primary school teachers are men, MPs are taking steps to address the lack of male role models in children’s lives.

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Ugly A* student told to get out of the shot

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A student from London who earned five A* grades in her A Levels is being repeatedly told to get out of the shot, it has emerged.

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Careers advice service to be replaced with general apathy

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Experts have warned that a re-organisation of careers advice services in England could lead to young people receiving advice from an apathetic physics teacher who is pre-occupied with the racing section of the Sporting Life.

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Pupils should study maths until they willingly avoid the sort of loan company I endorsed, says Carol Vorderman

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TV presenter Carol Vorderman has said that more than 300,000 16-year-olds complete their education without a sufficient understanding of maths to help them avoid the sort of debt consolidation company that she endorsed for 10 years.

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