Education

National Rifle Association calls for ban on ‘schools’

Thumbnail image for National Rifle Association calls for ban on ‘schools’

After further shootings at a US school, the National Rifle Association has insisted that the only way to prevent further tragedies of this nature is to finally implement a ban ‘schools’.

Read the full article →

90s Maths teacher forced to apologise for repeatedly saying ‘You won’t always have a calculator’

Thumbnail image for 90s Maths teacher forced to apologise for repeatedly saying ‘You won’t always have a calculator’

A maths teacher is to apologise for defrauding the students he taught during the mid-1990s.

Read the full article →

Toby Young hopes ‘cracking knockers’ will be on show at freshers’ week, say friends

Thumbnail image for Toby Young hopes ‘cracking knockers’ will be on show at freshers’ week, say friends

Toby Young is hoping cracking ‘knockers’ will be flaunted at universities during freshers’ week later this year, friends have revealed.

Read the full article →

Toby Young is world’s foremost expert at insulting students, explains Jo Johnson

Thumbnail image for Toby Young is world’s foremost expert at insulting students, explains Jo Johnson

The Minister for Universities defended the controversial decision to appoint Toby Young, an abrasive right-wing pundit, to the newly created University Watchdog.

Read the full article →

Government surprised to find places where nation’s brightest minds study information are against Brexit

Thumbnail image for Government surprised to find places where nation’s brightest minds study information are against Brexit

Institutions attended and run by the most intelligent people in the country have inexplicably come out in favour of remaining in the European Union, it has emerged.

Read the full article →

Government announces plan for every child to start school day by singing ‘Brexit is Wonderful’

Thumbnail image for Government announces plan for every child to start school day by singing ‘Brexit is Wonderful’

The government has announced plans to increase patriotism by getting school children to begin the day by singing a new ditty names ‘Brexit is Wonderful’.

Read the full article →

It’s for my Xmas card list, insists Tory MP demanding to know which lecturers are saying what about Brexit

Thumbnail image for It’s for my Xmas card list, insists Tory MP demanding to know which lecturers are saying what about Brexit

Tory MP Chris Heaton-Harris has defended himself against accusations of McCarthyism, claiming the reason he is compiling a list of University lecturers teaching about Brexit and documenting precisely what they’re saying about it, is so he can update his Christmas card list.

Read the full article →

Scumbag state school students still somehow getting places at Oxbridge, complain posh people

Thumbnail image for Scumbag state school students still somehow getting places at Oxbridge, complain posh people

State school pupils are still somehow getting around 20% of places at Oxford and Cambridge Universities, despite constant attempts by the Conservative Party to limit their chances.

Read the full article →

‘Smacking never did me any harm’ argue parents compelled to hit their own children

Thumbnail image for ‘Smacking never did me any harm’ argue parents compelled to hit their own children

Smacking has been banned in Scotland, leading to the age-old debate around whether or not it’s alright to assault a child.

Read the full article →

Student to attend Halloween party dressed as her 2020 Student Loan statement

Thumbnail image for Student to attend Halloween party dressed as her 2020 Student Loan statement

A university student is going to a party dressed up as the thing she fears most.

Read the full article →