Education

Private Schools propose absolute minimum they can get away with to retain charitable status

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Private schools have agreed to try and do something for children from poorer backgrounds in order to retain the tax benefits of being a registered charity.

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It’s because the children are thick, say teachers

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Britain continuing to lag behind in international education standards has only one explanation, according to teachers.

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School nativity to depict lesser-known mass infanticide part of Christmas story

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A primary school in Berkshire is this year focusing its nativity play on the period just after the birth of Jesus where paranoid dictator King Herod orders the killing of every male baby in Judea.

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2016 manages what 600 assassination attempts couldn’t by killing Fidel Castro

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The year 2016 has succeeded where the CIA failed for fifty years by finally toppling Fidel Castro, reports have confirmed.

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School to trial cage fighting

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As the Government drops its plans to turn all UK schools into academies, Lonchester High School in Hull pledges to continue offering a curriculum that is relevant to the world beyond the school gates.

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Man signals his sexual availability with Games Workshop carrier bag

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A man is signalling his immediate availability to women by flaunting his Warhammer carrier bag today.

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Woman says that nothing is the matter and means it

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A woman has responded to the question “Is something the matter?” with a negative answer and meant it.

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Welsh language confirmed as a massive hoax

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The Welsh language was just made up to wind up tourists, Wales has admitted.

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World enters post-satire era

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The world has entered a new era where it has become impossible to distinguish between satire and reality, historians have confirmed.

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Zombie apocalypse fails to respect Safe Spaces

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The rise of the hungry dead from their graves and their hideous feast upon the flesh of the living has today been criticised for failing to respect duly designated Safe Spaces.

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