Education

MP demands return of alchemy to national curriculum

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Following his demand for pupils to be clogged up with pounds, acres and bushels, Tory MP Andrew Percy is pushing for other outdated lessons to be returned to the syllabus.

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Britain’s depressed teachers urged to ‘drink more’

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Almost 5 years too late, teachers in Britain are finally realising what a hideous mess we’re all in.

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Call to keep GCSEs because Baccalaureate ‘too dangerous to say in Welsh’

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An independent report is recommending that Wales continues to allow pupils to sit GCSEs, after a respected headmaster was injured trying to pronounce ‘baccalaureate’ in Welsh.

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New requirements to insist teachers be at least as bright as pupils

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Entry tests for people wanting to become teachers will be more rigorous to ensure they have at least the intelligence of a thirteen year-old child, the government announced today.

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Megan Head: Parents’ evening ‘could be a tad awkward’

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Following news that maths teacher Jeremy Forrest is to return to the UK, the headteacher of Megan Stammers’s school has described an upcoming parents’ evening as ‘potentially a tad awkward’.

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GCSEs to be replaced with scratch cards

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Nick Clegg has revealed a radical overhaul for England’s education system, with all future qualifications being awarded purely by chance.

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Ofqual threatened to flush our heads down the toilet, claim Edexcel

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Exam board Edexcel have claimed that Ofqual threatened to flush their heads down the toilet if they didn’t change English GCSE grade boundaries.

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Students who think Uni fees must be paid up-front reignite calls for ‘new polytechnics’

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Students who claim they can’t go to University because they don’t have ‘nine grand lying about’ have reopened the debate about the use of polytechnics in the UK higher education system.

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School sports funding cuts will make it fairer for other nations, confirms government

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As Team GB continues to perform beyond expectation at the Olympics, ministers have confirmed that cuts to school sports funding are necessary to make it fairer on other nations.

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Creationist school syllabus only takes 7 days, insists Michael Gove

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Michael Gove has defended his decision to allow some state funded free schools to be run by creationist groups, insisting their ability to cut out billions of years of facts highlights their overall efficiency.

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