Education

Six-year-old boy wearily sits down confused parents to explain transgender issues

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Six-year-old Jake Williams has sat his parents down to explain to them the confusing topic of gender fluidity.

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Idiot parents reminded that small children are confused by EVERYTHING

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Small children are confused by basically everything, the nation was reminded today.

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Christian parents suing school for letting boy wear dress spend every Sunday listening to man in a dress

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A Christian couple who are suing a school after they let a 6-year-old boy attend school in a dress decided to take legal action on Sunday morning while listening to a man in a dress.

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Sunderland school sending children home leaves nation shocked that children in Sunderland go to school

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Reports of a Sunderland school sending children home for wearing the wrong uniform has left the nation shocked that they were there in the first place.

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Parents reminded that all children grow at that speed

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The nation’s parents have been reliably informed that their children are not actually “growing up so fast”.

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Halfwit actress’ website may not be the best source of medical advice, says shock report

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A website filled with the wittering voices in Gwyneth Paltrow’s head may not be a better source of health advice than an actual qualified doctor, according to shock claims made today.

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Everyone mentally converting GCSE numbers into proper grades

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As the first set of GCSE results based on the 1-9 scoring system are released, everyone is busy converting them in their heads into the format they actually understand.

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Teenagers set to receive first in lifelong series of soul-crushing disappointments

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Across the country, teenagers are set to collect their GCSE results and are girding themselves for the first in a long line of desperate, soul-crushing disappointments.

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Daily Mail celebrates ‘Barely legal sexy girls getting exam results’ day

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The Daily Mail is today celebrating the one day of the year where they can ask attractive eighteen-year-old girls to pose for photos without feeling at all seedy because it is A-Level results day.

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Scottish baby boxes to come pre-filled with cans of Irn-Bru and Greggs steak slices

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Every family with a new baby in Scotland will get a box containing an Xbox, two cans of Irn-Bru and a Greggs sausage roll in a new scheme being rolled out this week.

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