Education

Government surprised to find places where nation’s brightest minds study information are against Brexit

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Institutions attended and run by the most intelligent people in the country have inexplicably come out in favour of remaining in the European Union, it has emerged.

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Government announces plan for every child to start school day by singing ‘Brexit is Wonderful’

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The government has announced plans to increase patriotism by getting school children to begin the day by singing a new ditty names ‘Brexit is Wonderful’.

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It’s for my Xmas card list, insists Tory MP demanding to know which lecturers are saying what about Brexit

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Tory MP Chris Heaton-Harris has defended himself against accusations of McCarthyism, claiming the reason he is compiling a list of University lecturers teaching about Brexit and documenting precisely what they’re saying about it, is so he can update his Christmas card list.

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Scumbag state school students still somehow getting places at Oxbridge, complain posh people

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State school pupils are still somehow getting around 20% of places at Oxford and Cambridge Universities, despite constant attempts by the Conservative Party to limit their chances.

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‘Smacking never did me any harm’ argue parents compelled to hit their own children

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Smacking has been banned in Scotland, leading to the age-old debate around whether or not it’s alright to assault a child.

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Student to attend Halloween party dressed as her 2020 Student Loan statement

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A university student is going to a party dressed up as the thing she fears most.

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Pupils given first-hand experience of the dangers of fascism as Katie Hopkins launches tour of schools

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GSCE pupils will be exposed to the toxic shit fountain for one hour in the hope that she will horrify them into growing up to become rational human beings, according to reports.

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Top fib parents tell children is ‘You’ll get a good job and own a house’

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A survey of top fibs that parents tell their children has revealed that the number one fib is ‘You’ll get a good job and own a nice house’.

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Six-year-old boy wearily sits down confused parents to explain transgender issues

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Six-year-old Jake Williams has sat his parents down to explain to them the confusing topic of gender fluidity.

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Idiot parents reminded that small children are confused by EVERYTHING

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Small children are confused by basically everything, the nation was reminded today.

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