Business

Warning to consumers that coffee shop smugness ‘varies significantly’

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The level of smugness found in high street coffee shops varies considerably, a report revealed today.

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As economic confidence plummets, Google removes ‘I’m Feeling Lucky’ button

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Search giant Google has responded to increasingly widespread economic pessimism by temporarily removing the ‘I’m feeling lucky’ button which usually sits next to the search box on its web page.

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Government to boost UK workers’ morale with cake bake

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The government has pledged to boost the morale of employees by insisting companies allow them to decorate their workspace over the festive period, take part in a cake bake and pay £1 to wear casual clothes on Fridays.

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Tesco apologises after salad leaf found in packet of dead bird

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Tesco has today launched a full investigation after a packet of dead bird purchased in one of its stores was found to contain some salad leaves.

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Facebook to ask permission before tattooing people as they sleep

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Facebook has surprised its critics by no longer assuming that subscribers agree with changes made to their terms and conditions, and will actively seek permission before tattooing members with adverts as they sleep.

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John Lewis advert unites nation in agreeing there’s not a single fucking kid really like that

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As John Lewis launched its Christmas advertising campaign by featuring a cute child with nothing but altruism in his heart, the entire nation was quick to point out that there’s a not a single bloody child alive today displaying those personality characteristics.

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When we demanded you close tax loopholes we didn’t mean start with cheap DVDs, claim consumers

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Despite months of protests insisting that tax loopholes should be closed in times of austerity, consumer groups have reacted angrily after the government chose to start with those loop holes which makes the things they buy more expensive.

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Lloyds TSB profits hit by cost of acting like shits

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Lloyds Banking Group has reported a £3.9bn loss for the first nine months of 2011, mainly due to the cost of settling claims for continually treating you like a piece of shit simpleton.

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New ‘exasperation surcharge’ boosts Ryanair profits by 23%

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Ryanair has announced a surprise surge in profits, following the introduction of a surcharge on feelings of outrage and misery.

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Fears for Italian economy as Berlusconi faces cash demand from bunga bunga organiser

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There are renewed fears for the Italian economy this morning after it was reported that prime minister Silvio Berlusconi was asked for cash payment in advance to organise his latest bunga bunga party.

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