Business

Everyone allowed to go to work in their pants this week

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Employers all over the UK are letting staff come to work in their underwear during this week’s heatwave.

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If Airbus leaves the UK we’ll just go back to making Spitfires, insists Brexiter

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A threat to move operations from the UK to inside the EU by aerospace company Airbus has been welcomed as an opportunity to get back to the golden years of great British plane manufacturing.

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People who haven’t been into their local bank since 1978 irate that it’s closing

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News of further local bank branch closures on the high street has outraged a general public who have been exclusively using cashpoints and online banking for years.

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Relief as McDonald’s ditch plastic straws but keep plastic cheese

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McDonald’s will be ditching their harmful plastic but keeping the tasty plastic.

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French Champagne producers announce thousands of job losses in wake of Wetherspoons plan to buy British

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Wine producers in the Champagne region of France have announced massive layoff this morning, after learning that Wetherspoons will no longer by buying their product, in favour of British sparkling wine.

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Robinson’s Gammon Barley Water ‘not selling that well’

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Sales of Tommy Robinson’s brand of meat-flavoured squash have been “disappointing”.

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If High Streets disappear where will I go to look at things before buying them cheaper online, ask consumers

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As House of Fraser becomes the latest high street chain to fall on hard times, consumers have expressed concern about where they will go to get their hands on products they can later buy cheaper online.

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Chris Grayling announces plan to hope the trains sort themselves out

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Chris Grayling, Transport Minister and twice winner of the UK’s Most Vacuous Man competition, has announced a major new plan to hope that the trains sort themselves out.

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Paul Dacre to finally relinquish soul to Satan after 26 years as editor of Daily Mail

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Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre is to retire later this year and relinquish his soul to Satan as specified in the contract he signed when selling it some 26 years ago.

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Tommy Robinson told he’s too left wing to become Daily Mail editor

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Tommy Robinson has had his application to become the next Daily Mail editor turned down – because he’s too left wing for their readership.

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