Business

Hilda Ogden expresses anger at EU’s workplace headscarf ban

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News that the EU will allow the banning of headscarves in the workplace has been greeted with outrage by well-known headscarf wearer Hilda Ogden.

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Ford announces ‘Wanker’ driving mode for new Focus ST

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Ford’s new Focus ST will use Satnav to identify schools and hospitals and automatically turn up the stereo when you drive past.

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Jeremy Corbyn didn’t declare the salary for leader of the opposition because he didn’t know it was him

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Jeremy Corbyn has responded with surprise at learning he’s being paid to lead the opposition to her majesty’s government.

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Newcastle United 2017/18 kit to feature crotchless shorts as Mike Ashley bids for Agent Provocateur

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Newcastle United’s players will adorn high-leg crotchless shorts for the 2017/18 season, after Mike Ashley’s Sports Direct look to take over ailing lingerie firm Agent Provocateur.

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Company that can deliver ice cream in an hour still hasn’t got round to their fucking taxes

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Amazon has its shit together enough to get ice cream to your door before it melts but can’t seem to work out a tax bill.

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Sir Philip Green strikes deal to keep knighthood for £363m

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Altruistic entrepreneur Sir Philip Green has agreed a deal to keep his knighthood by simply paying around £200m less than the BHS Pension Fund requires in order to sufficiently plug the gap.

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Disastrous consequences after man accepts CEO’s invitation to ‘drop in anytime’

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A CEO who casually remarked that his ‘door was always open, if you want a chat,’ at the end of a company briefing was left needing treatment for shock and trauma after one of his employees took him up on the offer.

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Linkin Park fail to set off airport metal detector

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Airport security guards have confirmed that Heavy, the new single by Linkin Park, contains no detectable metal whatsoever.

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You said you read me for the articles, sobs Playboy magazine

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Thousands of men across the World have been revealed as spineless liars after circulation of Playboy magazine plummeted after the decision to stop showing pictures of naked ladies on its pages.

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Debenhams becomes first UK retailer to be free of racist fuckwits

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Debenhams has become the UK’s first racist-free store.

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