Business

Ryanair to charge extra to not sit next to a racist

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Budget airline Ryanair has announced an exciting new option for passengers who don’t want to sit next to an angry racist for the duration of their journey.

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New Halifax advert sees bank manager trying to flog mortgages to cast of The Human Centipede

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Halifax is busy ruining another classic film beloved by the whole family.

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Facebook’s pledge to always be free under threat after hiring Nick Clegg

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Nick Clegg has been given a senior role at Facebook, prompting widespread fears that users might now be charged exorbitant fees to use the site.

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Facebook aims to rebuild nation’s trust by hiring man no-one trusts

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Facebook, whose reputation has taken a pounding in the last two years, has hired Nick Clegg in an attempt to rebuild trust and credibility with its users.

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Canada legalises marijuana to help them cope with living next to America

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Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau says his new domestic policy will be to get baked and wait for the neighbours to their south to chill out a bit.

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Cheapskate adventuring party looking for bard to work for exposure rather than gold or xp

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The Crimson Guild, a bold party of adventurers out of the ancient, magical city of Waterdeep, are seeking a bard who recognises the profile-boosting opportunity that joining the group represents and so won’t want paying any gold or experience points.

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IT department announces split due to ‘artistic differences’

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The IT department at Hadley and Kemp Insurance Ltd has announced that it will be splitting up.

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Cunning customer outwits supermarket’s stock rotation plan by choosing product at the back of the shelf

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A cunning customer has completely outwitted sly supermarket operatives by choosing his product from the back of the shelf, rather than the easiest to reach one at the front.

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New soundproof BMW allows dead-inside sales execs to scream into void undisturbed

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You can now embrace the full catharsis of a good, hard scream from the comfort of your own car.

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Lidl to scatter groceries randomly over your floor while you’re out

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Discount supermarket chain Lidl is to compete with Waitrose’s unpacking service with its own delivery option.

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