Business

Hard drugs advent calendar to be big hit this Christmas

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A new hard drugs advent calendar is set to become the big hit of the festive season.

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By marrying an American my kids can become President, confirms Harry

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By marrying an American, Prince Harry has ensured his children will be both in line to the throne and eligible to stand for President, so beat that.

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Daily Mail staff turn off their Fisher Price computers after another busy week of entirely factual journalism

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Staff at the Daily Mail are currently turning off their colourful toy computers after another week of distributing facts like they’re going out of fashion.

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UK to organise its own city of culture, with blackjack and hookers

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Getting thrown out of the European City of Culture competition has not blunted traditional British resolve.

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Amazon Black Friday deals all crap shocker

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Amazon is devoting a huge two-week ‘Black Friday’ sale to trying to unload all the crap you wouldn’t buy any other time, according to their emails today.

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Donald Trump launches tirade against Black Friday after mistaking it for act of mass civil disobedience

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Donald Trump took to Twitter today to condemn an annual cut-price shopping event, believing it to be a nationwide protest co-ordinated by minority groups he’s not particularly fond of.

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Stationery store Paperchase experiences 0% fall in sales, following boycott by Daily Mail readers

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Popular stationery outlet Paperchase has confirmed a fall in sales of precisely 0%, following a boycott by Daily Mail readers.

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Brexit divorce bill to be paid in coppers

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Britain will pay more than the offered £18bn but it’ll all be in 1 and 2p pieces, government sources say.

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Walkers pledge to increase number of crisps in a bag from three to four

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Bags of Walkers crisps are set to get 33% bigger after the food company pledged to put four in a bag rather than the current three.

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Twitter to replace blue tick with ‘punch’ icon on Nazi accounts

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Accounts which break their terms of service will have their blue tick replaced with a ‘punch’ icon, Twitter has confirmed today.

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