Business

Packets of crisps to contain ‘nothing but air’ by 2026

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Crisp packets will be sold containing nothing but packaged flavoured air by 2026, according to a new report.

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Ryanair to offer first budget flights to Kepler-452b Luton airport

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Budget airline Ryanair has stolen a march on the competition by offering discount flights to newly discovered Earth-like planet Kepler-452b, flying into Kepler-452b Luton airport.

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Restaurant with 4/5 food hygiene rating somehow thinks this worth advertising

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Your local restaurant is under the impression that it’s worth advertising the fact they have room for improvement when it comes to the hygiene around their food preparation.

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Man confuses friends by suggesting they go for a ‘Polite and Courteous’ Nando’s

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A young man has bemused his comrades by suggesting an outing to Nando’s that isn’t the least bit cheeky.

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The answer to any question in a Daily Mail headline is ‘No’, finds study

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The answer to any question posed by a Daily Mail headline is ‘no’, according to a study published today.

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Most of Aldi’s stock actually shit, reveal middle-class shoppers

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It has been revealed that the vast majority of products stocked by both Aldi are actually total shite.

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Bank of England warns of rise in tedious mortgage conversations

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Bank of England governor Mark Carney has warned that the end of the year could see a sharp rise in the number of tedious conversations about mortgages.

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Woman has meaningful appraisal

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It has come to light that someone has had a meaningful, worthwhile appraisal from their employer.

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French Primark raiders to seek refund on ‘poor quality’ loot

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The armed raiders that hit a Parisian branch of the popular, low-cost clothing store, Primark, have now returned the loot and asked for a full refund.

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George Osborne’s budget accused of plagiarising Game Of Thrones ‘Red Wedding’

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George Osborne’s 2015 emergency budget was directly inspired by George R R Martin’s infamous Game of Thrones wedding scene, it has been revealed.

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