Business

Uber to ‘take back control’ by negotiating deals with each individual Londoner

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Ride-sharing service Uber has claimed it will be taking back control of its destiny by negotiating deals with individual Londoners, after losing its deal with TfL.

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Londoners busy marking themselves as ‘safe’ after devastating Uber loss

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Uber users across the capital have been taking to social media to mark themselves as ‘safe’ after being subject to the devastating removal of Uber’s licence to operate.

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Random men picking you up in banged-up cars not good enough for snooty London

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Uber has been denied its license renewal by Transport for London, despite Londoners craving danger when using the capital’s transport infrastructure.

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Banks to help track migrants by reporting suspicious foreign behaviour like saving money

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British banks have been ordered to go over 70 million accounts and report any un-British activity like managing finances sensibly. 

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Michael O’Leary promises to fly some Ryanair planes to prove it’s proper easy

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Ryanair chief Michael O’Leary has promised to fly a Boeing 737 out of Heathrow to prove to lazy pilots that any old sod can do it.

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Ryanair to punch all passengers in the face

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Beleaguered airline company Ryanair have announced that they’re just going to punch each and every passenger in the face and have done with it.

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Returning Ryanair customers diagnosed with Stockholm syndrome

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People who book flights on Ryanair having previously flown with them have been diagnosed with a form of Stockholm syndrome, according to researchers today.

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Everyone mourning bankruptcy of another shop they never used

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Toys R Us has filed for bankruptcy in the US and everybody is pretending to be sad about that.

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Thousands of Ryanair customers ‘distraught’ to find out their flight isn’t cancelled

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Ryanair has published a full list of flights to be cancelled over the next six weeks, leaving thousands of travellers disappointed that their flight isn’t one of them.

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Despicable EU arseholes forcing Brits into receiving compensation for cancelled Ryanair flights

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Brits who have had their flights cancelled by Ryanair are being forced into receiving compensation by faceless Eurocrats determined to see them treated fairly.

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