Business

Libraries urged to sell shitty, over-priced buckets of coffee flavoured milk

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Libraries have been urged to emulate coffee shops in order to survive, according to a new report into the service.

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Consumers ask Premier Foods for payment to continue buying their products

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Consumers across the country have been criticised after demanding payments from food manufacturer Premier Foods in order to keep buying their products.

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Black Friday sale like ‘the Hunger Games’, claims eye witness

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Black Friday sales across the country are descending into bloodbaths, according to those brave enough to take part.

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Train man proactively moves right the way down inside the carriage

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A passenger on a rush hour train has proactively made his into the middle of an otherwise packed carriage to allow fellow commuters to board, according to reports.

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Facebook to create new ‘workplace network’ for twats

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Facebook is to introduce a new workplace network for people who are ‘in business’.

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Bankers’ wrists starting to get really sore

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Bankers working in the city of London have explained how their wrists are incredibly sore after yet another severe slapping yesterday.

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Hopes fading as Daily Mail sandwich maker search enters second day

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Daily Mail staff are on the verge of starvation after their front-page search for a sandwich maker entered its second day without success.

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Tesco wondering if George Osborne fancies having a go at their books

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Supermarket giant Tesco has asked the government if George Osborne would be free to have a look at their books, after his ‘creative’ presentation of the finances around the latest EU surcharge deal.

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John Lewis Christmas ad secretly highlights plight of trafficked sex workers

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The secret message behind the new John Lewis ‘Monty the Penguin’ Christmas advert is that it’s never OK to ship someone in a box so you can have sex with them, even if you’re really horny.

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Man using self-service till on verge of emotional breakdown

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A man using a self-service till for the first time appears on the verge of tears after being informed yet again of an ‘unexpected item in bagging area’.

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