Neil Tollfree

Fiendish new Remoaner plan to prevent Brexit is to let Brexit supporters try to implement Brexit

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The latest diabolical plan by traitorous Remoaners trying to prevent Brexit from happening is to let Brexit supporters try to implement Brexit.

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MPs demand Big Ben bong UK out of Europe in 2019 because nation not yet humiliated enough

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Tory MPs have demanded that the Big Ben bongs us out of Europe at midnight on 31st March 2019 because even though Great Britain is a massive laughing stock around the world right now, they think we could be an even bigger one.

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Steve Bannon to spend time focusing on life-long quest to suck his own cock

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Following his dramatic dismissal from the White House, ex-chief strategist Steve Bannon has announced that he intends to take some time to work on achieving his life-long ambition of sucking his own cock.

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LinkedIn now 100% dickhead

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LinkedIn has become the world’s first 100% dickhead social network after a pleasant man called Kevin finally worked out how to delete his account.

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Littlehampton branch of Wimpy misses out on Good Food Guide restaurant of the year yet again

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There was disappointment in Littlehampton as their Wimpy restaurant on the High Street missed out being named the Good Food Guide restaurant of the year yet again.

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UK Brexit paper proposes ‘magic’ Irish border staffed by fairies

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The UK Government wants to implement a post-Brexit magic border between Ireland and Northern Ireland and staff it by local fairies.

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‘No pun intended’ man finally confesses that pun was deliberate

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A man has confessed that he did actually intend to make a pun, despite claiming that there was ‘no pun intended’.

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Everyone successfully forgotten about that Grenfell Tower business

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Two months on from the Grenfell Tower disaster and the nation finally seems to have moved on to a state of assuming that’s all sorted out and they don’t have to think about it anymore.

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Donald Trump criticises ‘many sides’ in Charlottesville for interrupting his holiday

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President and walking satire of life in 2017 Donald Trump yesterday tweeted his condemnation ‘in the strongest possible terms this egregious interruption to my golfing holiday by many sides in Charlottesville’.

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Parents feign interest in daughter’s career for record twenty minutes

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A woman was left stunned after her parents managed to feign interest in her career for a full twenty minutes during a Saturday afternoon visit.

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