Neil Tollfree

Shock Report: 21% of the population still only have access to analogue porn

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A hard-hitting report has today revealed that nearly a quarter of the UK population is only able to access pornography in analogue form, either by mail-order DVD or by waiting until it’s not the young girl in the corner shop serving and purchasing a magazine.

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Are YOU a potential UKIP leader? Take our interactive quiz to find out!

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In the time that it’s taken you to read this sentence, there’s every chance that angry red-faced man party UKIP will have fired their leader and be on the look-out for literally anyone to have a crack at running the party.

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Smug unquestioning couple had pleasant Valentine’s Day

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Reports are emerging of a young couple in Sussex having a pleasant Valentine’s Day.

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Greeting card executives decree mandatory day of romance

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Couples everywhere are today required to participate in a greeting card company mandated day of romance.

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Commonwealth in secret plan to have Girls Aloud succeed Queen as its head

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The Commonwealth has secretly begun considering whether or not it is feasible to have noughties pop sensations Girls Aloud succeed the Queen as its head. The issue is seen as hugely sensitive as the role is not hereditary and will not automatically fall to Prince Charles on the Queen’s death. “Whilst, in the past, there […]

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Harry and Meghan announce Star Wars themed wedding

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Kensington Palace has announced that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s wedding will have a strict Star Wars theme.

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Homosexual calls for conversion therapy to ‘cure’ Christianity

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One of the country’s leading homosexuals has called for the use of the controversial conversion therapy to try and ‘cure’ Christianity.

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Jeremy Corbyn considering doing something

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Rumours emerging from the Labour party seem to indicate that Jeremy Corbyn is giving serious consideration to actually doing something.

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Formula One grid girls to be replaced with grid horses

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Formula 1 bosses have announced that from next season, they will replace the ‘grid girls’ with ‘grid horses’.

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White House claims Donald Trump’s first State of the Union attended by over 300,000 congressmen

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The White House has released the official figures for the State of the Union address and put the number of senators and congressmen who attended Congress to witness President Trump’s address at 336,687.

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