Neil Tollfree

Company to replace pension plan with lottery syndicate

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A company has thought of an inventive new way to alleviate the tedium and cost of maintaining a company pension plan; by setting up a lottery syndicate.

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Ham-faced angry men still angry and ham-faced

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Following scenes from last night’s edition of Question Time, it is apparent that ham-faced angry men are still angry about things and still have faces the colour and texture of joints of ham.

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Woman sending Christmas cards instead of donating to charity because she’s a REAL friend

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A woman has controversially announced that this year, she won’t be donating to charity but will be sending Christmas cards because she is a real friend.

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Shock at news that Dr Liam Fox may not be a fox

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There was widespread shock across the political spectrum as evidence emerged that Dr Liam Fox may not actually be a fox.

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Theresa May still drunk

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Some two days after successfully reaching an agreement with the EU, reports are emerging from Number 10 that Prime Minister Theresa May is still drunk.

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Pope wants Lord’s prayer changed to be ‘a bit more clubby’

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Pope Francis, generally considered to be one of the best Popes currently operating, has announced that he would like to see the Lord’s prayer changed to be ‘a bit more clubby’.

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UK agrees to do as it’s told

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Reports are emerging from Brussels that the UK has agreed to do as it’s told, paving the way to future talks on the EU-UK relationship.

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Donald Trump to just call all Muslims pricks and have done with it

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The US has announced that the President will be instituting a policy of calling all Muslims ‘pricks’ with immediate effect.

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Trump family to spend Christmas in their secret lair under volcano

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In a break with tradition, the US first family have announced that they will be spending Christmas in their secret lair under a volcano somewhere in the Pacific.

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MPs to be given urgent training on incognito mode

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Following the discovery of an Internet’s  worth of pornography on Damien Green’s work computer, MPs are to be given training on how to use their browser’s incognito mode.

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