Neil Tollfree

Hypocrite Jeremy Corbyn refuses to give away all his money and go and live in a hole

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Jeremy Corbyn stands accused of hypocrisy for refusing to give away all his money to the poor and go and live in a hole in the ground, despite claiming to want a fairer and more equitable society for all.

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Tower block residents without sprinkler systems just relieved the Government has a stable majority

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Hundreds of thousands of tower block residents without adequate fire precautions have expressed relief that the Government has managed to form a stable coalition with the DUP.

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Derek Trotter has got a blinding deal for Theresa May

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Legitimate businessman Derek Trotter has announced that he’s got a great deal for Theresa May, if she’s got another spare billion pounds laying around.

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Ministers able to access World of Warcraft again after Parliament cyber-attack

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There was relief amongst ministers this morning as they were able to access their World of Warcraft accounts for the first time after the cyber-attack on Parliament last Friday.

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EU citizens respond to Theresa May’s offer to let them stay in UK: Do we have to?

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Prime Minister Theresa May has announced that EU citizens currently in the UK will be granted residency after Brexit as if that’s something any of them would ever actively choose to do.

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Jeremy Corbyn prepares DJ set of 90s gangster rap for Glastonbury

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Labour leader, Messiah, and winner of 2017’s socialist beard of the year Jeremy Corbyn is preparing for his appearance at Glastonbury.

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“I did not record ex-FBI chief, and I’ve got the tapes to prove it,” claims Trump

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US President Donald Trump has said that he did not make secret recordings of ex-FBI chief James Comey despite an earlier hint to the contrary and, most sensationally of all, he has secret recordings that prove it.

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EU leaders told not to laugh at Theresa May

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EU leaders have been told not to laugh hysterically as UK ‘Prime’ Minister Theresa May addresses them for the first time since losing her majority in the recent election.

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Majority of people not raging shitheads, finds study

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A study has revealed that despite the recent behaviour of some individuals, the vast majority of people are not raging shitheads.

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Daniel Day-Lewis quits acting after failing to win lead role in Captain Underpants movie

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Three-time Oscar winner Daniel Day-Lewis has announced that he is retiring from acting after failing to secure a role in Captain Underpants, a new children’s film due out in July.

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