Neil Tollfree

Man pretty sure he deserves more credit for not sexually assaulting any women

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A man has told of his disappointment at receiving little credit for not sexually assaulting any women during his life.

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Free bikini supplement of all Harvey Weinstein’s victims in Saturday’s Daily Mail

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The Daily Mail has announced that it will be producing a full-colour supplement featuring bikini shots of all of Harvey Weinstein’s known victims.

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Boris Johnson arrested for torturing a metaphor

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The political world was left in shock after Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson was arrested yesterday for torture of a metaphor.

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New EU referendum demanded with 3rd option – ‘Brexit, but not organised by these clueless dicks’

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There have been widespread calls for a second EU referendum that will include a third option alongside ‘Leave’ or ‘Remain’ which reads ‘Brexit, but not organised by these clueless dicks’.

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Alien seed pods discovered across country following appearance of red sun

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Hundreds of thousands of what seem to be alien seed pods were discovered yesterday evening in gardens across the country.

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Doctors to ask patients if they’re Brexiters or normal people

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Following news that doctors will ask patients about their sexuality comes the announcement that they will also be asking if the patient is a normal person or a Brexiter.

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Trump state visit downgraded to a skype call with Piers Morgan

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Apparent President of the United States Donald Trump will no longer have an official state visit to Great Britain with all the ceremony that entails.

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Facebook woman likes her children

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A Chelmsford woman has taken to Facebook in order to declare a fondness for her children.

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PM prepares for ‘No deal’ Brexit by stockpiling candles and picking out Parliamentary cave

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Alleged Prime Minister Theresa May has drawn up plans for a ‘No Deal’ Brexit that include the stockpiling of candles and picking out the best cave in the country for Parliament.

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Woman receives Internet rape threats because men are f*cking dreadful

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A woman on the internet has revealed she suffered a number of rape threats because men are fucking dreadful.

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