Gary Stanton

Millionaire suicide bomber thought to have received poor financial advice

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British suicide bomber Jamal Al Halrith may have received unsound financial advice prior to blowing himself up in a jeep.

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Dutch Moroccans take to hiding in Anne Frank’s house

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A family of Dutch Moroccans have concealed themselves in Anne Frank’s old house to escape the leathery jackboot of right-wing populism.

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Church of England gay vote in chaos after members use the wrong passageway

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A hugely important gay marriage vote has been thrown into disarray after bishops went up the wrong alleyway.

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Local man dies of Nuttall allergy

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A local man has died tragically after suffering an extreme allergic reaction to UKIP’s Paul Nuttall.

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Middle-class actors struggling to get parts in Ken Loach films

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A so-called ‘class-ceiling’ is preventing middle-class actors from starring in Ken Loach films, it has emerged.

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Judge Jules powerless to stop Brexit

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World-renowned DJ “Judge” Jules cannot stand in the way of Brexit on account of not being a real judge, it has emerged.

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Church summer camp beatings went undetected due to excessively loud version of Kum Ba Yah

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A loud acoustic version of the Church classic Kum Ba Yah may be the reason that child abuse went undetected at a summer camp, according to the Archbishop of Canterbury.

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Donald Trump convinced Geneva Convention was seventies progressive rock band

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The Geneva Convention is an outstanding 1970’s prog rock act with an emphasis on electrified folk rhythms, according to Donald Trump.

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Syria to ban ‘watersports’ enthusiasts from seven Western nations

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The beautiful Muslim nation Syria has announced a temporary ban on golden shower enthusiasts until they can figure out just what the hell is going on.

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Goebbels’ Secretary, Brunhilde Pomsel, turned down job offer from Donald Trump

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Josef Goebbels’ former secretary, Brunhilde Pomsel, revealed she turned down a lucrative job offer from Donald Trump.

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