Gary Stanton

Big fuck off alligator heading for Trump inauguration

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A big fuck off alligator with a taste for thin-skinned Republicans is making its way to Washington for Donald Trump’s inauguration.

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Storm surge threatens coastal areas with massive waves of immigration metaphors

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Low-lying areas of the UK risk being swamped by a tidal wave of immigration metaphors, it has emerged.

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‘Special snowflakes’ causing widespread misery, claim right-wing forecasters

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Billions of ‘special snowflakes’ have blanketed the UK in untold political correctness, according to skewed media reports today.

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Extra leap second will delay Article 50 even further, moan Brexiters

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An extra second at the end of 2016 means Brexit is to be delayed yet again, according to the bellends who voted for it.

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Curse of 2016 claims some homeless bloke apparently

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Tributes are pouring in after unnoteworthy homeless man, ‘Mad’ Simon Williams, froze to death in a London park.

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Migrant squid from inside EU turning British cod into gay Muslims, warns UKIP

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The traditional, heterosexual British fish supper is being replaced by migrant squid as the water surrounding the UK becomes increasingly gay, it has emerged.

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‘Just about managing’ defined as those with a grand to spend on leather trousers

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Britons are pissing their hard-earned cash up the wall on leather kecks, according to reports.

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Fat shamers target Christmas goose

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Goose, Simone Williams, has launched a scathing attack on social media body shamers who questioned whether it was a suitable choice to appear on a festive dinner plate.

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Outrage follows claims Last Tango in Paris used I Can’t Believe It’s not Butter

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The director of Last Tango in Paris has been accused of trivialising rape after using a cheap butter substitute.

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Tranmere Rovers ‘a breeding ground’ for future UKIP leaders, warn experts

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Nationwide Conference side, Tranmere Rovers, is a seething hotbed of young, white UKIP-leaning disenfranchisement, it has emerged.

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