Friday 2 November 2018 by Lucas Wilde

Lone man occupying four-seater fast food booth clearly thinks he’s pretty hot shit


Man eating burger

A man is taking up far more space than he actually needs to at a popular fast food eatery because he thinks he’s some kind of God.

Simon Williams, 32, ordered a quarter-pounder with fries and made himself at home in a booth that would typically be occupied by a family of four.

“Who does he think he is? Mick Jagger?” tutted witness, Jay Cooper.

“I mean, yeah, it’s not too busy in here but he should really be sat on one of those little stools that nobody in human history has ever found comfortable; just one of the many ways in which society punishes the lonely.

“But noooo, it’s not good enough for Captain Fancypants over there, with ample padding for his arse.

“Ooh look, he bought a coke AND a coffee. My mistake, obviously we are in the presence of greatness here.”

Williams commented, “I’m just eating lunch.

“I mean, yeah, I’m a pretty neat guy, but I don’t think I’m a rock star. If I did, I’d be eating at a Five Guys and not a McDonald’s.”

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