Thursday 25 October 2018 by Pete Redfern

American Huntress awarded medal of honour after bravely gunning down unarmed Scottish goat


Scottish Goat killed by US hunter

A TV presenter has been awarded America’s highest accolade for bravery after courageously shooting a tiny goat in Scotland.

Larysa Switlyk had been hunting on the Scottish island of Islay when she posted a photo of herself with a tiny helpless goat that she had just bravely murdered.

Ms Switlyk, who describes herself as a “hardcore huntress” and hosts the Larysa Unleashed programme, shared her joy at shooting something a fifth of her size with her fans, who presumably all fired their pistols in the air back home in celebration.

Spokesperson for Scottish Tourism, Simon McWilliams, told the press, “Well, she’s a proper hero, isn’t she?

“This tiny, unarmed goat has been terrorising the Isle of Islay for two whole years with its bleating and running off to hide whenever anyone approaches it.

“We’ve been praying for a brave hero or heroine to come and save us from it, and yesterday our prayers were answered.

“We’ll never know the courage it must have taken to don camouflage gear worth hundreds of dollars and blow the brains out of this small defenceless goat from several hundred yards away with a high powered rifle, but we will be forever grateful.”

It is understood that Larysa Switlyk will today be stepping up her hunt by gunning down some bumble bees with a shotgun.

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