Wednesday 24 October 2018

FBI baffled as to what could have motivated bomb maker to target Clintons, Obama, Soros and CNN


FBI investigating clinton bomb threats

The Federal Bureau of Investigations has this afternoon admitted they are baffled by the seemingly random bombs recently sent to four prominent public figures and organisations across America.

With suspicious items sent to the Obama and Clinton residences, following a device sent to the offices of George Soros, and now a bomb scare at CNN offices, the FBI is putting its top agents to work hoping to solve these apparently unrelated crimes.

An FBI spokesperson told us, “Sometimes you get lucky in cases like this, you might find a hate preacher out there, delivering dehumanising speeches targetting each of the victims – then it’s just a case of isolating their followers and bingo you have yourself a prime suspect.

“But where do you start when the victims are as unrelated as these four? There is literally nothing to connect them in the eyes of a potential perpetrator.

“I mean, a semi-retired couple from Arkansas, a former President, a billionaire liberal philanthropist and a news organisation – it’s like something from a James Patterson novel.

“I can only hope one of my colleagues can solve the mystery and find a link that breaks the case wide open.”

Amateur sleuths are already hard at work trying to crack the case.

As one told us, “Clearly you are looking for someone who hates white people; Two of them are white, one has white people present it’s TV shows, and the other one, the black guy, he was probably thrown in to put you off the scent so it doesn’t look like it targets white people. Simple.”

Another said, “They are all tools of the Illuminati, so that might be it – but to be honest, I’ll reserve judgement on what really happened until Alex Jones and his Infowars masterminds can explain it to me.”

A White House spokesperson told us, “We don’t know who is doing this, but clearly they have great taste.”

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