Thursday 18 October 2018 by Neil Tollfree

Esther McVey flaunts horns, cloven hooves and tail as she gives Universal Credit statement


Esther McVey

Work and Pensions Secretary and appalling shit Esther McVey openly showed off her horns, tail and cloven hooves as she made a Commons statement about how much she was enjoying the hardship caused by the introduction of the new Universal Credit system.

Eschewing the traditional hat and big shoes combination to hide horns and hooves, Ms McVey clearly has no shame about her diabolic heritage.

“Well, clearly Ms McVey isn’t the first demonic hellspawn to join the Tory Party, you only have to go back to George Osborne to see that,” said Simon Williams, Professor of the Tory Party and evil, demonic entities.

“But to quite so openly flaunt her profoundly evil nature is really something quite new.”

However, it was not just the horns, tail, and hooves that betrayed Ms McVey’s nature but the contents of her speech.

“It was a classic example of demonic rhetoric,” said Professor Williams.

“Firstly she said, with an entirely straight-face, that Universal Credit was working because unemployment had decreased since it was introduced.

“Then came a playful smile as she went on to claim that Universal Credit prevented tiger attacks and alien invasion because neither has occurred since its inception.

“Finally, with a full-throated cackle, she promised to eliminate the poor completely.

“Classic hellspawn demonic stuff right there.”

Whilst Ms McVey’s Tory colleagues have no problem with her displaying her true demonic nature, a few have asked her to wear a little more perfume as the smell of sulphur is putting them off their roast Swan sandwiches.

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