Wednesday 17 October 2018 by Neil Tollfree

Theresa May gives upbeat Brexit assessment as rats stream from Number 10 behind her


Downing street rats

Prime Minister Theresa May has given an optimistic assessment of Brexit as hundreds of rats streamed out of Number 10 Downing Street and swarmed past her.

Stating that she believed that Britain and the EU were closer to a deal than ever, a single rat fell from the Number 10 letterbox and ran down the road onto Parliament Street.

As Mrs May explained negotiations were definitely making progress, two or three more rats fell from the letterbox followed by another one, this then became a steady stream of rats falling from the letterbox and running down the street.

The door to Number 10 suddenly burst open under the weight of hundreds of rats as Mrs May was saying that she genuinely believed that Britain and the EU could maintain close relations following Brexit.

Tempering her optimism with a warning that Britain would not capitulate to a bad deal she kicked out at the swarm of rats streaming past her.

Several rats paused briefly to chew on Mrs May’s shoes as she concluded that Britain could look forward to a bright, prosperous future as a nation independent from the EU.

A spokesperson for the Ministry of metaphors and allegories has so far declined to comment.

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