Friday 12 October 2018 by Neil Tollfree

The phrase ‘respect your elders’ to be abandoned after elders’ recent poor performance


old people

The phrase ‘Respect your elders’ is to be abandoned and will no longer feature in common usage after recent terrible decisions by elders have led to the world becoming demonstratively more appalling.

“I think that after voting for both Brexit and Trump, elders are no longer in a place to demand unconditional respect,” said Simon Williams, Head of the International Phrase and Idiom Council.

“Brexit and Trump are only the start, they are the most over-privileged generation in history, they inflated the housing market out of the reach of anyone who isn’t an oligarch, and they’re sat on a vast pension pot largely funded by younger generations.

“Then they have the cheek to complain about people spending too much time on Facebook.”

Mr Williams suggests that ‘respecting your elders’ is applied on a case-by-case basis.

“Well, obviously, not all elders are undeserving of your respect,” he said.

“Your mum, for example, had to put up with an awful lot from you over the years and she still seems to love you, so I would suggest that she is still fully deserving of your unconditional respect.

“However, a red-faced angry old man shouting about things he doesn’t understand on a nationally televised politics show quite obviously is undeserving of anyone’s respect.

“So, play it by ear and we’ll see how it goes.”

Mr Williams is open to reintroducing ‘Respect your elders’ into common usage after a sustained period of elders not ballsing everything up.

However, the more likely outcome is that the phrase ‘Respect your elders who are aren’t massive twats,’ becomes adopted and popularised.

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