Thursday 11 October 2018 by Lucas Wilde

Woman who spent £16m in Harrods revealed to be your wife


Empty Wallet

Your wife went absolutely mental in Harrods, according to reports last night.

Spending a total of £16m across 35 credit cards in just ten years, your wife has insisted that she definitely needed each and every one of those things that she bought.

“Oh come on, every house needs a diamond chess set,” argued your wife when you shoved the enormous credit card bill under her nose over breakfast this morning.

“That lot next door have got a platinum one and I’m buggered if I’m letting that slag get one over on me.

“A big part of that credit bill represents Christmas and birthday presents for you, you know. Did you stop to think about that? No, I didn’t think so.”

Harrods’ spokesperson, Simon Williams, said, “We are extremely grateful for your wife’s continued custom, and for your continued – if bizarre – decision to leave her alone with your credit cards.

“Not sure why you have 35 of them but each to their own.

“Has your wife seen our new line of winter coats? They’re made from 100% silverback gorilla and can be yours for just £16,000.”

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