Monday 8 October 2018 By Fles

Waitrose and Tinder join forces to deliver lovers to your bedroom while you’re out


Tindrose

Waitrose and Tinder have joined forces to offer a new dating app called Tindrose for the busy professional millennial.

The idea is to deliver lovers direct to your bedroom while you are out so that everything is unwrapped and ready to go when you get in at the end of the day.

Customers are invited to register – supplying their own personal details and their preference for lovers in terms of age, gender and any unusual predilections – and then a personal shopper will hand-pick best matches based on those stated tastes and mutual shopping histories.

Litigation lawyer Lucy from Leighton Buzzard told us, “I only placed my first order this morning and when I got home this evening there was a hunk in the kitchen wearing nothing but a pinny and dishing up a quinoa and avocado quiche. Ooh la la!”

Rugby fan Basil from Basingstoke was less impressed, however. “I got home to find a naked First XV team in my lounge – but they were delivered with a couple of crates of beer and some analgesic rub, so we managed to have a good time in the end. And I still got a full refund!”

The stated vision of this catering conglomerate is to supply all a customer’s household needs under one roof – their own – by combining shopping, dating and entertainment.

Company rep Simon Williams told us, “We aim to come together to provide for all of your wants and desires with one app, so we can cater for all of your main shopping requirements and your, ahem, special tastes as well…

“Love eggs? We stock them too.”

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