Wednesday 3 October 2018 by Pete Redfern

ABBA’s ‘Dancing Queen’ now ruined forever


Dancing queen ruined

A highly popular song has been ruined by a deeply unpopular person, according to reports today.

In what was apparently an attempt at self-deprecation, Theresa May entered the stage at the Conservative Party Conference to ABBA’s classic tune ‘Dancing Queen’, consigning the song to remain on the shelves of households across the country forever due to the association she has now created.

Livid ABBA fan Simon Williams told us, “When I turned on the TV to hear the Prime Minister’s speech and heard the opening bars of that disco classic my heart sank through the floor.

“And then when she twitched her way onto the stage like a stick insect receiving a sustained electric shock I knew from that moment forward I would never dance, jive, or have the time of my life to that tune ever again.

“If she’s going go around shattering dreams that’s all well and good, but couldn’t she just leave the ABBA back catalogue well alone?”

He paused, then added, “I think that the bitter irony of her doubling down on Brexit after coming on stage to one of the finest European bands of all time was entirely lost on the crowd, probably due to them having to endure the traumatic sight of her dancing again.”

Spokesperson for ABBA Kristopher Jamesson told the press, “I’ve spoken to them, and the band is definitely considering suing Theresa May for damages, and they also advised her that the only appropriate song for her given her political future would be SOS.”

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