Monday 1 October 2018 by Chris Ballard

Boris Johnson to change his name to IS in desperately misguided PR move


Boris Johnson IS nickname

Further to Kanye West changing his name to Ye, Boris Johnson is to be henceforth known as IS in a desperately misguided attempt to appeal to young voters.

Boris is currently positioning himself for a leadership challenge and has realised he must win over the young people to stand any chance of a successful premiership.

He has therefore taken a leaf out of that popular rapping man’s book and dropped all but the last two letters of his first name. However, he obviously hasn’t really thought it through.

“I want to be in charge and impose my will on the world,” said IS.

“To do that I need grotty young people to vote for me and this seems like the ideal way to trick them into doing so.

“I need to spread my core values of intolerance, racism and utter contempt for the religious beliefs of other cultures,” IS explained further in a statement.

“What better way to do that than to have a short name like one of those ‘cool dudes’.”

IS also spent some time outlining how he planned to combat Theresa May’s Brexit proposals.

“We’ll do things the IS way which means a coordinated series of attack when they’re least expected.

“There’ll be a few bombshells at the Tory Party conference for a start.

“Once I’m safely installed as leader, people will be able to vote for me and enjoy a return to core British values. Not like all that Muslim stuff which I want nothing to do with,” concluded IS.

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: