Saturday 29 September 2018

Conservative party conference rated 18 for violence and strong language


Conservative conference rated 18

The Conservative party conference begins on Sunday and, for the first time, has been rated 18 by the British Board of Classification for violence and strong language.

The rating means that viewers under the age of 18 will be unable to watch the conference and viewers are advised that many scenes could prove upsetting.

“We are expecting a number of graphic images of sharp objects, mainly knives, being repeatedly stabbed into the spines of people,” said Classification Board chief Simon Williams.

“If it was a one-off, we might be tempted to let it go, but we suspect the stabbings will become a recurring theme of the presentation.

“The language will be racist, sexist and in many cases, poorly constructed and nonsensical.

“Of course, if there were scenes of conservatives having sex, it would have been refused any certificate, but we are confident that the whole thing will be a completely sexless affair.

“There will, however, be many scenes of people wanting to inflict physical and emotional misery on others, which some adults might well be into, but we can’t rate that kind of thing PG.

“We cannot, in good conscience, let minors become exposed to this sort of material.”

It is expected that, in an effort to combat children attempting to watch the conference, the Tory party will release a DVD containing an edited version of the conference from which the violence and bad language has been cut.

The DVD is likely to run for around 25 minutes.

“I voted Tory for a kinder, fairer society for all – said no-one, ever” – get the t-shirt!

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: