Friday 28 September 2018 by Neil Tollfree

New Boris Johnson Brexit plan is to point and shout until EU give us what we want


Boris Brexit plan

Tin-pot Donald Trump and mendacious shit Boris Johnson has used Conservative Party newsletter The Daily Telegraph to outline his alternative Brexit plan.

Johnson feels that despite being part of the Leave campaign and a senior figure inside the government for two years while all this was going on, he should not be blamed in any way for the mess currently ahead of us.  As such, he has put forward an alternative.

The simple three-point plan inside Mr Johnson’s proposal reads thus:

1. Point.

2. Shout.

3. Repeat until EU give us what we want.

“A-ha, yes, well, you see,” said Johnson using his painfully transparent bumbling professor persona that he still believes people find charming.

“My scheme for Brexit negotiations is based on the time-honoured method we Brits employ when visiting a patisserie in the Dordogne.

“Point at a pastry, shout ‘pastry,’ and keep going until one is in receipt of said pastry.

“There’s no reason we couldn’t do exactly that with the EU.

“Alea jacta est, Brutum fulmen, etcetera, alma mata, Quo vadis, and other things you won’t understand.”

The Johnson plan appears to have won favour with the sort of foaming lunatic who still believes Johnson to be a credible politician.

“Excellent plan,” said Simon Williams, a 142-year-old racist from the home counties.

“That’s the attitude to take with these dull and greasy continentals, give them a damn good shouting until they understand their place.

“Rule Britannia, what!”

However, experts have taken a different stance and have rubbished the plan as ‘juvenile, simplistic, and doomed to failure.’

However, as it’s still a more credible idea than Chequers, we might as well give it a go.

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