Tuesday 25 September 2018 by Neil Tollfree

We didn’t fly to Europe in Victorian times, we’ll be fine now, claims Brexiter


man unhappy at EU flight plans

A Brexit supporter has responded to warnings that a no-deal Brexit will lead to a collapse in flight regulations by reminding people that flying is a modern luxury that we can live without.

Simon Williams, a professional testicle-buffer and leading Brexit campaigner from Cheswick, was responding to what he saw as ‘scaremongering.’

“We won’t be able to fly to Europe,” he said.

“So what? We weren’t able to fly to Europe in Victorian times and Britain did just fine then.

“It’ll still be perfectly possible to holiday in the Dordogne, you’ll simply have to pop down to Portsmouth, negotiate passage with a captain on his clipper, wait for fair sailing weather, and you can land in Calais a few short days later with only the smallest chance of contracting scurvy.

“From there you can make arrangements to travel south by horse and carriage which, if the weather is fine, could prove to be a very pleasant week or so.”

Mr Williams was scathing about the continued use of so-called ‘project fear’ in the Brexit debate.

“Britain positively flourished in the 18th and 19th Century, we had an empire and led the world in industry, and most important of all, we weren’t a member of the EU back then, so, if anything, being in the EU has just held us back.”

It is thought that if Mr Williams’ vision of European travel comes to pass, City firms will offer insurance against being keelhauled, and ‘Jolly Jack Tar’ will once again become a viable career option.

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!

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