Friday 21 September 2018 by Lucas Wilde

Britain finally speaks with one voice over desire to bring back “Give Peas a Chance” graffiti


Give peas a chance

Britain has finally found a thing that they can all agree on and get behind.

“Give peas a chance”- the bit of graffiti that tells southerners they’re nearly home and that bit closer to some wine – has been altered to “give Helch a break!!!”

“The fuck does that even mean?” enquired an irritated Simon Williams.

“That’s not comforting like ‘Give peas a chance’, that’s just passive-aggressive nonsense. Change it back, or the bit of road between junctions 16 and 17 of the M25 will simply lose all of its charm.

“Seriously, driving around the UK is fucking miserable. Please put back one of the few bits of gentle whimsy that makes us smile.”

Hayley Rice added, “I don’t want to be held responsible for my actions if that bit of graffiti isn’t restored.

“I won’t give too much away but it involves the Highways Agency head office and some grenades.

“It’s not often that I want my taxes to be used for what is technically a crime, but I really want quite a lot of tax money to be spent restoring ‘Give peas a chance’ to its former glory.

“Fuck Helch.”

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